*No Title* Part 44

‘Happy Birthday Katrina.’ I read from my phone. The message was from Zach.1

He sent me a picture of him chugging a 40 with Keena in the background throwing up.2

Wow. 3

‘lmfao, wow you must have... partied really hard this weekend...’4

‘Yeah... a little...’5

I smiled down at my phone. It would be really nice to see Zach or maybe even hear his voice. It’s not like I’m falling in love with him again...6

Derek was supposed to be home god I felt like we were some married couple just forced to be together. I mean he was sweet, cute, and amazingly beautiful. Ever since we moved here things have gone shitty. 7

I fell asleep at 10. Derek still wasn’t home. 8

I awoke at 9 am the next morning Derek wasn’t lying next to me like usual.9

I crept into the closet and pulled out my black box and took out my razor, alcohol and bandages. 10

Back to my old friend. I went into the bathroom locked the door shut and turned on the bath tub water to high heat. I sat down in the middle of the room and dug the razor into my arm. I slowly went down and gasped in pain. 11

The blood slowly gushed from my wrist. 12

My tears slowly dripped down and on my arm mixing with my blood. 13

When the tub was filled I could feel the hot mist of it damp my fore head I slowly stepped in. My skin burned and throbbed the heat stung my legs and left red marks over them. I endured the pain down to my waist when I finally let out a long gasp.14

My arms stung the most once it was touched by the water. 15

My head throbbed and I thought I was going to pass out.16

The numbness I felt was overwhelming but I couldn’t get enough... 17

Finally I closed my eyes and let every inch of my body sting. I sank myself to the bottom and held the sides to make sure I didn’t go back up. 18

“Katrina? Are you in there?” Derek said knocking on the door.19

I didn’t want to breathe but my lungs were nearly screaming his name.20

“Kitty, I’m... sorry I didn’t get to come home Dave got in a fight with his dad...”21

I could no longer stand it so I quickly pushed myself up. I inhaled for breathe.22

“Are you okay? Please let me in...” He said23

“...I’m fine...” I choked “I’ll be out in a minute...” 24

I found myself crying why could I never die! Every time I tried it was just a big fail. It was like this fait thing wanted me to suffer. 25

I came out wrapped in a towel. My clothes were drenched and my arms throbbed with pain they still bled but not as bad. 26

“Kitty what did you do?” Derek said coming in the room.27

He gently took my arm. He looked confused.28

“...I love you so much.” I said before breaking into tears.29

“...I love you too Katrina...” He said rubbing my cheek and then kissing me.30

“...No Derek don’t just say that and hook up with other girls... I know you and Katie... and a lot of other girls... I just don’t want you to lye to me...” 31

He pursed his lips and choked on a reply.32

“...No more of that.” He said taking me into his arms.33

Katie’s POV34

This can’t be happening to me. Derek would he stay with me? Oh my god I don’t even know what to think! I have to tell him we need to talk. 35

*Back to Kitty36

“Are you hungry?” He asked37

“Yeah.” I smiled38

“Lets see, were out of eggs, no bread, or orange juice.” He looked at me.39

“...So go to the store... I don’t mind...” I said smiling at him40

“Ha ha.” He said kissing my head, taking the car keys and pulling his jacket on and out the door. 41

**Katie42

I walked to the grocery store in the snow. My gloved hands still didn’t fight the numbness of them. I glided slowly across the street and into the front. On my way in there Derek was coming out. He looked at me. 43

My heart raced.44

“...Hey...” I said45

“Hey...” He replied46

“Can we please talk...?”47

He nodded and we sat at a bench.48

“Have you told her... Kitty...?” I asked49

He shook his head and looked up.50

“Should we go to my house... it’s much more quiet... and warmer...” I said51

He looked at me and nodded.