Caught: My Crime - Leland's POV

It had to go down perfectly.1

Not a single hitch.2

Hash was equipped for it. Obviously. She was HASH.3

I never thought I'd spend my days with a beautiful woman, planning the perfect crime. I never thought I'd have to commit the perfect crime to get a beautiful woman to marry me.4

I shouldn't become a fortune teller.5

Hash went all out the night of. She wore a skintight black leather dress, clad with black, thigh-high boots. She clutched a black leather jacket in her left hand and a sable pistol in her right. I was just wearing gray sweatpants, a plain green shirt and an orange jacket. My gun was concealed in the bag I was bringing. Hash rolled her eyes when she saw me.6

"Obviously, you can't wear a single black thing the night we commit the crime of the century," Hash said in her gravelly voice. I crossed my arms.7

"Does it matter what I look like? It's not like we want anyone to see us," I pointed out, walking over to the couch and folding some stuff into the bag. A jar of pickle juice, rubber gloves, two mannequin heads, grenade, 2 pairs of jeans ... you'll see later. Hash scoffed when I zipped up the bag.8

"It looks like a purse. Let me take it," Hash giggled. My eyes narrowed.9

"No way. You look like a freakin' supermodel. At least let me carry the bag," I told her.10

"Yes, ma'am," she said. I almost lunged at her throat but I stopped myself. I had been putting up with her sarcasm since day 1. I couldn't lose my cool right when it's all about to pay off. 150 mil isn't a bad load. But like I said--one mistake and we were dead.11

"Very funny," I said absently, tossing her the car keys, which she caught nimbly. I switched off the lights in my apartment and looked at it for a final time. Either Hash and I were moving into a huge mansion or we were living in cold, hard cells.12

"Let's just go," Hash said softly, shutting the door behind us as we walked calmly down the hall. This was phase one.13

The first step was to get into a car I've been formulating since I was a toddler playing with blocks. It made no sound. It was problematic if one needed a horn, but there was no buzz of an engine, no roar of the transmission when it started up. Not even when it went down the road did it purr. I had finally perfected it.14

Hash stepped into the driver's seat and I got in on the passenger side. It was, unfortunately, way too small for two people and a large bag, so I put the bag under my feet and very carefully set my sneakers on top of it. Hash turned the car on with too much vigor--it only needed the gentlest touch. We were speeding along, pushing eighty, no cops chasing us down.15

This was phase two.16

Hash had mapped out a secret way to get to the Mason mansion. It took an hour and a half rather than forty five minutes, but Hash and I grown really comfortable with each other. We were motoring away and yammering the whole time. Finally, the car pulled to a stop. Time for phase three.17

I filled each of the mannequin heads with pickle juice, put each into a pair of jeans, and stuck them into the laser security system. Mrs. Mason is quite wealthy, so she could afford such an extravagance.18

The shape of a human body set off the alarm, but the pickle juice deactivated the sound. It was a perfect plan. The lasers immediately turned off and Hash and I sprinted through the front room and into the dining room, up the stairs and into a grand master bedroom. Mrs. Mason had been on vacation for three days, and wouldn't be back for six more, so we had come at the perfect time. Phase four.19

I tossed Hash a pair of rubber gloves and we each snapped them on, still careful not to touch anything that wasn't necessary. Hash turned off the lights and took out a flashlight from the bag. She shined it around until she found a keypad. She rapidly tapped out the code and it blinked green before it slid open. Hash motioned me over, shining the light in my eyes. I squinted as she gave me the suitcase full of cash. I put in the bag and zipped it shut. Hash turned off the flash light and I dumped about $100 into the keypad. I closed it again and we jumped through the window, setting off the alarm. It rang loud and I became lightheaded as I gave Hash the car keys. It silently sped away as we made it back to the hideout. Phase five.20

A dark, soundless figure pointed to two adjoining rooms. We each ran into one and Hash went through the suite's door to see me. It was light outside, so the room was lit in a natural, homey way. I loved it. Hash plopped down on the bed and pulled some sweatpants over her dress.21

"Thank GOD it's over," Hash said, rolling over onto a pillow. I didn't say anything as I set my head on the pillow beside hers. I was happy, too.