Headliner

I had a dream last night
This time it didn't float away.
I saw my life,
All my stories both real and not.
I saw my mom:
Both kinds of volcano:
Dormant
And a fiery eruption
I saw my dad:
With me
And far away. 1

I saw happiness
I saw love
I saw glass. 2

People search for the right words to describe.
Life
Emotion
I've found the right one:3

Glass4

Glass in all its forms. 5

The scene changed
To something much more routine
Me
Sitting at my computer
Working. 6

Work, that whip which snaps in my ear
It calls me enticingly
Holding a carrot in front of me
But moving two steps backwards
For every step that I take.
A puff of smoke when I rear up
Snatch it. 7

Change scene.
I see a stage
I deliver the final lines.
Tears come to my eyes again.
In a Quantam of Solace.
What a perfect
Meaningless phrase.8

The dream changed again
The way dreams often do.
I saw myself in my room.
This time a desk wasn't in front of my door
I was. 9

My hands, pressed hard against the door
The way they are for flexibility tests.
But this time
I don't want to be flexible
I want to be strong.
Somehow I was
Even with lava pounding on the other side
While my arms shook and trembled.
While tears made still, glassy rivers
Rivers which traveled from my brown, almond shaped lagoons
Falling off the edge of the world. 10

I watched as the images of a beautiful night
Vanished.
I watched as the shaking white door
Tried to protect me from two words.
"Get out." she said "If you don't like it here get out." 11

Cut. Print.
Now I'm at my computer again
This time I'm writing
I've decided to write a play.
About myself
About life. 12

But how to write it?13

A billion possibilities come to my head
All of them true.
All of them fine.
All of them glass. 14

The one I decide to chose is simple
And possibly true
Kids, being adults
Long before their bodies can catch up.15

But another one is quite different....
I stand up for a bit
Think in my head
About the things I'm procrastinating right now
I pause and think about the glassy void
Life. 16

I pick it up, a stained glass window:
Beautiful in color and design
But what is it really?
A bunch of jagged shards
Forced together
Welded into place.
How many cuts did the craftsman sustain?
How much blood dyed the pieces red?
I take the glass17

And I slam it down on the ground
Stomping the pieces into dust
Retaliation
This is for the times I loved
Only to have it thrown in my face
This is for the times I was happy
Only to have the night destroyed
This is for the times I was sad
And lost the one who comforts me
This is for the times I chased something
But was mocked as a modern Tantalus
This is for the times I brace myself
Putting my shaking arms against the door
Screaming in a high pitched voice
That belongs in the chipmunk movies.
I stomp the pieces to the ground
Ignoring my bloody feet. 18

For I've found the real ending to my play
Man would I love to see Briscoe and Logan
Try to solve this case
As the Times scrambles to get the copyright
To the best headline of the century:19

Girl kills self with life.