Mic problems = No voice recording

I can't get the mic to work on the laptop (IT IS THERE, IT JUST DOESN'T PICK ME UP!) and there's always someone in the same room as me, when I'm on my main computer, there's always someone in the same room as me, and I don't feel comfortable shouting swear words at my computer in front of my mum...1

Just seems... wrong...2

I may do it when I next get some privacy...

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