Dear Self

Dear Self, 1

I am writing to you, five years from the time you are in now, to warn you of yourself. In the next few years, you will move from your comfortable home in small town Larimore, lose your friends, develop a painful depression, and see the truth in life. You will spend five months holing yourself up in your new English room. You will refuse to speak to any one, you will rapidly lose weight, grow even paler, and grow weak. Once your new school starts, you will find a few good friends, and quite a few new enemies. Your life will be a living hell, at home and at school. You will have no escape. 2

A year will go by, you’ll grow stronger, standing up to those who put you down, your enemies becoming fearful of you, and more people hating you. You will be pushed over the edge; pressure to do well weighing you down, fights with friends wearing you away, and just life in general tearing you down. You will snap a plastic protractor in half, and make yourself hurt. You will grow addicted to the pain you can inflict on yourself, your parents will pretend there’s nothing wrong, and the word help will fall limp at your lips. 3

You will be the one every one of your friends goes to for help, advice, or just a shoulder to cry on. You will be the one who always listens but never speaks. You will be the one your friend’s think never cries, the one who never hurts, or never can be hurt, they’ll think you’re invincible. But the truth will be, you cry yourself to sleep, you hurt every day, and you’re not invincible. 4

That brings me to my now. I’ve pulled through, I’m still alive, still on edge, and slowly being pushed. I’m warning you now, be prepared for the worst, to grow up fast, and be prepared to be strong, for our sake. 5

Sincerely, you.6