The Aftermath: Chapter One

Allegra's eyes chased the reflection of fluorescent lights on the waxed floors as she padded down the hall. The nurse held her by the arm, leading her to the psychiatrist's office.1

Dr. Newton's name decorated his door on a brass plaque. The brass had an awful, sick tone beneath the greenish-tinted flourescents. Allegra hated flourescents and the way they tinged everything with an unnatural green glow.2

The nurse shuffled Allegra to a leather arm chair in front of an impressive, cherry desk. Files and papers claimed most of its shiny surface, along with a laptop and a fancy pen cup engraved "Dr. Trevor Newton."3

Dr. Newton nodded to the nurse then settled his gaze on Allegra's frail form. Surprise flickered across his feature as he registered her shock of copper-red hair, lithe body, translucent alabaster skin and marbled blue eyes - eyes clouded by a haze of sedatives.4

He cleared his throat, forcing himself to look down at her file and away from those mesmerizing eyes.5

"Miss Alexander, my name is Dr. Newton and I will be your doctor during your stay here. The length of your stay depends on how much you cooperate with us. Our only goal is your recovery. Do you have any questions for me?"6

She did not speak, move or blink.7

He paused, watching her carefully. Her obvious apathy annoyed him, however, he was accustomed to patients who were uncooperative or too heavily drugged to understand. The heavy sedatives he'd administered last night should have worn off by now, but she appeared very dazed.8

"I'm going to ask you a few questions. Do you know why you're here?"9

Seconds stretched by agonizingly as he waited for the lovely, damaged girl to answer. Finally she shrugged, "Because I failed."10

"At taking your life, you mean?"11

"Yes."12

"Why did you want to kill yourself, Miss Alexander?"13

"You get to the point, don't you Dr. Newton?" A brief, intense fire flickered in her eyes as she challenged him.14

"Yes, I do. No point in wasting your time or mine. This is no delicate matter, as I'm sure you are aware."15

"No. Living is not delicate or beautiful, but death is. It is peaceful."16

"Is that why you wanted to end it?"17

"Isn't that why everyone wants to?" 18

"What was it like to wake up and realize you were still alive?"19

"Horrific. Disappointing. Confusing. You wouldn't know unless you've been there." Again, that flicker of a challenge. Her eyes seemed brighter, like two torch flames daring him to come close enough to get burned.20

"What made life so painful for you, that you felt your only option was suicide?"21

The flames extinguished and her blue gems marbled over to the color of winter storm clouds again. She exhaled softly, then looked away.22

"Miss Alexander, you don't have to be afraid here. You can tell me anything. You are safe now." He paused for a few moments, then quietly suggested "Did someone hurt you?"23

She answered cryptically in a deeply sad voice, smoothing her nightgown over her thighs, "We all hurt each other, whether we mean to or not."24

Dr. Newton stopped scribbling notes to gaze at her again. He found it difficult to take his eyes off her or find his voice again.25

"Who... who has hurt you?"26

She seemed lost in reverie for a moment, then lifted her eyes and locked him into an intense stare-down, "Who hasn't? Even you have broken my spirit by stabbing me with those needles."27

His cheeks flushed to scarlet. He felt ... guilty. He'd never felt guilty for giving necessary doses of medication before. He'd also never heard it expressed quite that way before, "I... I'm sorry. I was only trying to help you."28

"Then let me help myself. Let me finish what I started. There is no reason for me to linger in this world any longer."29

Again, he was taken aback by her presence. She was extremely intelligent, wonderfully beautiful, and effortlessly elegant - even as she sat there in frail disarray like a wild, caged tigress - half-starved and scarred but still lithe and sharp.30

Yet he had never, in all his years in this profession, heard such an agonizingly hopeless tone in anyone's voice. It broke his heart in a way, to see this lovely young woman so desperate to destroy herself.31

"You know I can't do that." He finally responded, "There are plenty of reasons for you to live. Let me help you find those reasons. You are still very young and have so much ahead of you."32

"Do you generally win your patients over by insulting them? The implication is that I am young and foolish, therefore I do not know what it means to live and die." She crossed her arms stubbornly.33

"N... no. I do not. I can't seem to find any of the right words with you, can I? You're a tough cookie." He chuckled.34

"You have no idea." 35

"I'm starting you out on an anti-psychotic. It will help combat your feelings of suicidality, as well as your psychotic tendencies. The hospital noted that you'd had hallucinations." He continued writing for a moment then closed her file.36

He glanced up, waiting for a response or rebuttal. She only returned his scrutiny with wary silence.37

"I believe it's time for lunch." He opened the door and nodded to the nurse, who escorted Allegra out of the office.38

Dr. Newton watched Allegra's figure fade down the corridor, fascinated. 39

He knew then that she would be different from any other patient he'd ever treated.40