Rush! Fast, faster...not fast enough. Never fast enough. Whimpers are strewn through the barren hallways. Commands are barked all around filling the air like a demonic melody. Or maybe an angelic chorus they are wearing white. White, white...why is it always so damn white? Needles infuse into that same pallid hue.1
Finally a color, red. Dripping and plinking in. An invisible force field holds it above. Heedlessly hovering and meandering down ignoring it’s urgent call. Red will work on its own pace…the same pace. Another color…green. Green shyly dances to the monotonous steps it knows. Up, down, rest. Up, down, rest. It only dares to change its pace occasionally. Until it retreats into its self fearing it’s boring those who watch it. Oh green how childish you are they love your steady dance. Panic erupts without that dance as one last cry of desperation reverberates through the room. A slight thud fills their ears. Silence. Brown dances playing peak-a-boo until finally it decides to let itself known. That limpid brown pair fills all of their beings and relief and accomplishment court one another. One question emanates from that brown pair…where am I?2
Author notes
Can anyone tell me where the setting of this short story is?? Of course critique is always welcomed!
A contest entry
- Describe it in a paragraph! by Melancholic Smile.
350 points, ended November 7, 22 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Where is this taking place?
Comments
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Yup a hostiapl ER is correct and I love this idea!
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Hi, thanks for entering my contest
My guess would be that you are describing the inside of a hospital ER. Am I right?! I love the use of the colours in your description; especially the line -Commands are barked all around filling the air like a demonic melody. That paints a great picture for me. Thanks again for taking the time to enter and best of luck in my contest


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Very interesting approach to creating this description...all leading up to a PLACE, instead of what one is first focusing on. Creative metaphors too.
I'm thinking it's a hospital...maybe even an emergency room, as it seems that the person questioning their whereabouts was unconscious & perhaps near death.
Nice job. :0)
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Four Colors
Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment and you hit the nail on the head!! Great Job!
I appreciate how much you read into it! I look forward to reading so of your stuff!
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