Inevitable Nightshade

There she died. Still warm, her body lay on that sterile white room where no one cares if that green flat line blares across the screen. The perpetual lub-dub of her heart fell silent. Her only friends were the humble hospital helpers that aided her through her last moment of life. 1

I wish I had known her name before she left this world, but she refused to tell me. She said she lost her name a long time ago along with her innocence. Her life work was pleasing men in any sick way they wanted to use her. Giving joy and an escape for others landed her to where I would talk to her hospice. I live with all those hospice patients who can tell me exactly how many days they have left on this earth with a smile on their face. She did exactly that when I first laid eyes on her.2

“I’m sorry I’m out of commission I’ve only got four weeks left. So you can go tell him to stop sending me all of you men as a constant reminder of what I am. That’s what this disease is for,” she spat tenderly with a smile on her pallid face.3

I wanted to cry but a smile flashed across my face in self defense, “I don’t know the man you are talking about. Please let me introduce myself. My name is Asa. I wanted to come in here to ask if you would like a companion for the rest of your life.”4

“What are you talking about?”5

“I wanted to see if you would like me to come and visit you every day. You could talk about whatever or nothing, but I thought it would be nice for you to have some human contact that isn’t a hurried nurse trying to get her job done and get home.”6

“I don’t even know you. Why talk to me?”7

“Maybe I need a friend or want to be more enlightened about life. Really it doesn’t matter does it?”8

“Are you apart of some church that’s making you do community service?”9

“No.”10

“So you just wandered into the hospital today and decided to walk into my room and talk to me?”11

“If you must know I come to the hospice every day and visit one patient until they pass. I try to make a connection with them and let them speak what is on their mind.”12

“Why?”13

“Well I can’t keep telling you all about me until I know if you want me to visit you.”14

Her face contorted for a moment but relaxed again as she heaved a quick sigh, “fine.”15

Slowly she started to open up to me with each passing day. I felt awkward not using a name for her and begged to know hers. She refused day after day. I started to really know this woman, though it’s hard to call her that since she just hit twenty, and know that when she decided on something nothing could change her mind. So one day I greeted her in an unusual way.16

“Hello Naveen!” I called walking into the room now filled with flora of all different colors.17

I placed a rose by her bed stand moving the lilacs of yesterday by her window sill as she stared at me with a bemused expression, “what has gotten into you today?”18

“What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet,” I gestured wildly at her.19

Her usual cold brown eyes melted into a velvety chocolate, “ahhh Shakespeare. How I dreamed back then.”20

“What do you mean?”21

“Since I couldn’t leave the brothel to find a therapist my escape came through writing. I’ve always loved the classics and dreamed that someday my work would be mentioned along with Shakespeare’s. So much for that.” 22

“So you worked on plays or literature?”23

“Only one piece. It was a novel. Basically it was about bandits, but instead of them being terrible and stealing and killing for personal gains they killed corrupted government officials as a means of social reform.”24

“Could I read it?”25

“I wish you could Asa. I was stupid enough to leave it out one night and when my master came up to check on our rooms he found it. He never slept because of the speed he was on. Not only that the drug made him very volatile. His soul was as black as the circles under his eyes. I watched him rip apart any sense of self worth I had as the flurry of flakes fell like my soul.”26

In all of my twenty seven years I can only count a hand full of times I sobbed like I did when I heard Naveen say that. Her eyes stayed dry. The drought that had plagued them seemed that it would never lift itself. Her hand stretched out, refusing to be subdued by the needles in it, and grabbed mine. I looked down at the wasted hand to see long and fingernails shining beneath the oppressing florescent lights.27

The next day I came in with my usual flowers I noticed that some of the earliest flowers were fading and others were taken away by nurses who deemed them too ugly to crowd her room. I shook off my rage and placed the forget-me-nots by her moving the rose by the window sill. Naveen was sleeping so I decided to turn on the television until she awoke. The television obviously hadn’t been watched yet because the channel it was on was a children’s program. It actually caught my attention in this age of hyper distractibility because it was a simple sock puppet program except instead of whole and wholesome socks they were dirty and worn through at the ball of the wearer’s feet. It spoke of another simpler era before all of the computer graphics and hyper realism. It was a program to really use their imagination. 28

Click. A commercial for a movie sequel for Harry Potter; didn’t that already have plenty of sequels? Apparently they are planning to do the entire story from Malfoy’s perspective. Strange.29

Pink rolling hills take up the entire screen. They seem to stretch on forever, but slowly they are turning green. Flower and fields grow, but don’t last long. The hills grow and trees take the place of simple meadows as rolling mountains emerge. Still they grow into looming mountain peaks with shimmering snow as the mountains start to collide into on another. Chaos. Out of nowhere a single larger than life droplet of water emulsifies the entire mountain range erasing the entire existence of the terrifying peaks back to their pink origins. The camera pulls away and a tongue is revealed and then the entire satisfied face just lowering their glacial water bottle.30

My mouth hung agape at the power of a simple ad. I felt as though I had a religious experience watching it. I could have stayed in that trance for a long while but Naveen’s hoarse voice pulled me away from the sudden truth revealed to me.31

“Are you trying to look dumb?”she almost whispered.32

My brows furrowed without my conscious permission, “did you eat a toad.”33

“Ha ha very funny.”34

“Yeah…”35

“I had a dream just now. I was walking down an aisle of a church, and wasn’t being burned, with a white wedding dress on. You were standing at the other end smiling and waiting for me. It was just the two of us and some preacher. I’ve never felt so peaceful in my whole life especially about a man. Even my dreams like to torment me. Maybe it wasn’t a dream at all, but showing what could have been if I made a few better choices in my life.”36

“Maybe it was you seeing into the future.”37

“What are you talking about?”38

“I would defiantly not object to the idea. In fact if you get out of the hospital I will sweep you off your feet and marry you.”39

“Easy promise for you to make to a hospice patient.”40

“It’s the hardest one I have ever made in my life. I don’t know if you picked this up…you probably have since you know people pretty well, but I think I have fallen for you. You are the most down to earth person I have ever met in my life. If it weren’t for the visiting hours I could stay here and talk to you forever and know you would understand everything.”41

“Only if I get out huh? That’s cruel.”42

“I love you Naveen and I don’t even know your name.”43

She lifted her arms as much as her emaciated body would allow and I gladly bent over to hug her. The fact she let me touch her after all the times she must have been so used by so many men…no not men beasts, was the greatest gift she could ever give me.44

Time seemed to fly by faster with each passing visit and this time was no different. The nurse’s tired voice broke through telling me to leave since visiting hours were over.45

The next day I came in with jasmine flowers and a golden ring dripping over one of the stems. My face was lit with joy ready to show Naveen what true love was and the experience of my day. All sense of happiness left as I saw a life support system seemingly sucking the life out of her. I ran to her side worried that it was too late.46

Seeing those eyes flutter open was the greatest relief of my life. A spontaneous smile plastered itself across my face as I forgot what I held in my hands. 47

“Really?” was all that could pass through that plastic prison.48

I stood dumbfounded until the strong scent of jasmine greeted my nostrils forcing me to collapse on one knee, “would you marry me?”49

A tear caressed her cheek and managed a nod. I jumped up and kissed her forehead in gratitude sincerely grateful she would accept me. I placed the heavy ring on her finger satisfied at how appropriate it looked on her. Not a gaudy ring demanding attention, but a simple gold ring not needing any further jewels to show its elegance. 50

A laugh burst through my lips, “do you know what I saw as I came walking here to you?”51

“What?”52

“This group of people singing songs in this mangled looking underwear. I was really confused, but an inflated man approached me and informed me that this was a test for a new TV show or something. These people apparently only have an hour to make all the clothes they can to wear out in public and are challenged to go out in only what they made and draw as much attention as possible. They certainly got mine. Who knows I might be a famous by passer on TV!”53

A weak laugh barely resonated throughout the chamber as Naveen’s eyes started to close shut. 54

“You can sleep if you want to. I don’t mind,” I prompted.55

“Kiss me,” she pleaded.56

Though I was worried I succumbed. I took off the mask for a moment letting our lips interlock. Pressing mine against hers…I’ve never felt so fulfilled in my life. Still aware that she was very weak I unwillingly pulled away and put the globe separating us back on. A genuine smile nestled in her face as she drifted off to sleep.57

I had never thought that first kiss we shared would be our last. The purple bell flowers of the nightshade I held in my hand spattered across the floor. I didn’t want to believe the harsh scream of the EKG machine. I could see myself in a horror movie and instead of the creepy woods with the swelling music standing on a splintering deck teetering at the edge. I fell by her side grabbing her hand pleading to wake up. There was so much that we had to do. 58

The nurses somehow pulled me away from her and fretted over me about how I acted so different toward this patient. I couldn’t help but pitying and envying the rest of the world at its ignorance of what it just lost. I meandered out onto the foreboding streets with barren trees with their threatening branches closing in on my. My breath stained the invisible lingering for a moment longer, but dissipated; I realized life was just a breath on a cold winter’s day. 59