Sculptured Tears

Jason Braxton stood back to admire his creation as he wiped the perspiration from his brow. His dark brown hair was plastered to his forehead and his powerful shoulders glistened with sweat. He brushed the dust from his clothes and deftly placed his chisel and tools on the ground. Carving tombstones wasn’t a profession that was readily accepted, but Jason performed his finest work with extraordinary talent. People came from far and wide to hire him, because Jason was unsurpassed in all of Ath, and probably all of Belgium. He gazed at the statue he had just completed of a saintly angel with her hands folded worshipfully in prayer. As he looked intently at the statue, he was reminded of his own Sarah who always had an angelic smile on her face. Instinctively, his hand tightened around a small vial of perfume fastened around his neck. The pain came in fresh waves and he knew he had to stop thinking about her. He had been working on the headstone for months, it had to be perfect because it was a memorial to his Sarah.1

Hastily, Jason picked up his tools as hefted the weighty stone on his shoulder to haul into his workshop. He grimaced as he set it down again, thinking that his line of work seemed so unsatisfying now… he felt as if he had no reason left to live. All he felt was blame and condemnation for the pain he’d caused. He slumped upon a bench and buried his face in his hands. He’d thought that the work would keep his from thinking about that terrible night four months ago, where he’d lost everything he held dear. Taking a deep breath, Jason picked up a small stone figurine he’d been working on. He hadn’t gotten far, but the tiny figure was beginning to show essential personality.  Jason heaved a sigh as he began to work.  Long he carved the little statue and the figurine became more and more beautiful as time passed. Jason was somewhat surprised as the statue seemed to come to life in his hands. The figurine had become a beautiful mermaid, and it looked exactly like the ones he’d imagined in the fairytales his mother had read to him as a child. Jason gaped at the lovely creature in awe.2

After several hours, Jason put up his work, and went into his cold and lonely hut, where he undressed and lay upon his bed. As he stared into space, waiting for sleep to take him, he clasped the ever-present perfume vial in his hand and gently undid the top. As the sweet fragrance filled the room, Jason struggled with the images that came to his mind. He thought of soft white skin, lustrous golden curls, eyes bluer than the sea, and honeyed pink lips that always curved into a smile when he was around. Without warning Jason lay the bottle aside, leaped out of bed, eyes flashing, and knelt upon the floor in sheer agony. His mind screamed for revenge, his most valuable treasure had been viciously ripped from his grasp, and there was nothing he could do. Jason pounded the floor in fury and feverish rage, he couldn’t take this anymore, he had to do something… anything. Moaning, he collapsed on the floor, hoping to punish himself for what he’d allowed to happen.3

As he lay in a half-dream state, the statue he’d been working on opened her sightless eyes and locked with his, they were overflowing with a reproving sadness. As Jason stared in wonder, the mermaid opened her mouth and began to speak. She told him that he could not bring back the love he had lost, but the vial he carried around his neck had magical powers and it had bound Sarah’s ghost to the earth His mermaid claimed that she was created from extraordinary magic and she could grant two wishes, but they could never be revoked, only one wish could change the other. The mermaid then proceeded to place beside him a glowing blue tablet which, when swallowed, would provide the wishes. She cautioned that Jason could change the past, but he had to beware because he could destroy his own life or he could alter the future of others. She warned him to use his wishes wisely. Jason was about to ask the tiny carving for more information, but she was as solid as she had ever been, and the mysterious presence had vanished. As he stared at the silent figure, Jason wondered if it had all been a dream. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, and then he noticed the small blue capsule he held in his fist. He gazed at it and continued contemplating what to do. He shuddered with apprehension as his eyes glazed with insanity and his heart thumped in his chest so fast that he felt as if he was drifting in a sea of unconsciousness.4

Jason woke upon his bed and wondered groggily if the “vision” he’d had was real. As he sat up, he looked around, everything seemed normal… except for the alluring blue tablet that lay disdainfully next to his pillow. It was mocking him, giving him an opportunity to change the past, or the future, and yet, alter the entire universe in the process. Jason looked around, as if trying to decide what to do, and he uneasily averted his eyes from the mermaid figurine. Sighing, he swallowed the blue tablet and wished to see what really happened to Sarah on that sickening night of her death, four months ago. Jason was surrounded by  a brilliant flash, and saw where he had been on that fateful night. Instead of being with Sarah and protecting her, he had been drinking, partying, and letting time go by without a care in the world, he saw his own eyes glaze with intoxication, and Jason heard his slurred speech as he ordered more beer in that darkened bar. He saw himself leave the bar, and stagger away into parts unknown. He never knew where he had been that night. Suddenly, the vision shifted and Jason saw Sarah approaching the woods on the darkened road. As he watched her, a cloaked figure came out of the forest and seized Sarah. Jason watched helplessly as she screamed for help and made a choking noise as she was gutted in the arms of her killer. He saw the man slice open her stomach and slash her flailing arms with a switchblade, her spine cracked and blood flowed from her wounds Jason sobbed and he knew the damage was fatal.5

Jason saw Sarah’s petrified eyes, and he raged and cried out in shock at what he had seen. He moaned with horror, as he stared at her broken body, lying on the road, and the retreating figure of someone who appeared familiar. “Who is the murderer” Jason cried “I wish to see his face as he dies, and see as he suffers ten times the pain of the one he killed. Another flash filled the room, and Jason felt a searing pain in his chest, he was in his own house and he was looking in his own mirror. Suddenly, Jason’s eyes bulged in severe torture, and he fell to the earth. The perfume bottle shattered upon the floor, and the glass pierced his heart and a sweet aroma filled the room as he stared into the eyes of Sarah’s murderer… himself.6

Author notes

Story for Creative Writing, defined by:

Character Sex: Male
Profession: Stone Mason
Setting: Belgium
Archetype: Mermaid
Symbol: Perfume Bottle
Theme: Self-destruction

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Navi
    November 12, 2005
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    A glimpse of so much more.

    Wow.... wow..... Amazing.

    It's absolutely brilliant, but it feels as if it needs a little refining.

    It just has this... summarial feel to it... It's really quite the perfect overview of a much deeper story, of a much longer story, which deserves to be written.

    It has the overall plot, but if you gave it dialogue; depth; description; meaningful imagery... It could be something amazing and profound; beautiful and terrifying.

    You could really go somewhere terribly beautiful with this. It has the potential for perfection. It doesn't deserve to be a short story, but deserves to be a book, addressing the issues of the self, dreams, suicide, the doppelganger, the concept of the "deus ex machina", you could make this into something perfect, something epic, something deserving of study.

    Personally, I think that stories should never really be rooted in a "place" ... It makes it somewhat inaccessible to some readers and limits it in the imagination of the other readers... Unless, of course, the place plays an intrinsic role in the tale, and is inextricably interconnected with the tale itself.

    You'd need to infuse every aspect of it with symbolism, with meaning.

    You'd need to read Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, Conrad, Hawthorne, Melville, Faulkner's "Barn Burning", Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"... And effectively merge the thoughts behind the words into some grandiose mindframe, and then transmute that mindframe into this context... this deserves to be a lifelong work!

    But there is such a great amount of potential here in what you've written! So much potential! It deserves to be molded and sculpted and grown into the gravestone of an angel.
    Edited on Nov 12, 10:42 p.m. because 'Location, location, location...'.

  • PalmettoSky
    November 12, 2005
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    great

    great story. not too long...loved the ending. Hope to get to read more like it in the future. you're a great writer. Keep up the awesome work. thanks for sharing. i liked it very much.


  • Shancy Fayre
    November 12, 2005
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    A good write.

    This is a very interesting concept for a story. It is easy to read and keep up with. It was mysterious and I liked that. A good write. Shancy.


  • BlackBloodyRose
    November 12, 2005
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    wow

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that was odd but i knew it was coming wow! oiy wow! that was great


  • PoeticTragedy706
    November 12, 2005
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    Oooo!! The end sent chills down my spine!!! Great write! I absolutely loved it. Great plot and GREAT ending. Keep up the good work.

  • DarkenedAuras
    November 12, 2005
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    WOW so cool and mysterious yet hauntingly eeire...This gave me shivers. You have great ways of expressing perfect details...great story and quite a twist at the end...perfect I am not as good at this as you are but if you do not mind could you possibly read my short story I JUST NOW got done writing...if so then here is the link to it: allpoetry.com/poem/1628628
    It is called A Night At Midnight Run and I had to think of it as I went...no time to write in details on paper but I think it is adequete. (SP?)

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