He is my lover, His kisses are both sharp and sweet, Lips of steel that give me new life as it slowly claims my old, He is addictive like a drug, Both needing and craving him, knowing that he will soon be my end, I don't care, He comforts me as the tears fall, No one comes in my time of need, I'm alone, He calls my name promising an escape an end to all the pain, I go to him, His lips of steel toch my flesh, He claims my soul as the blood reaches his lips, He wants more, His kisses becoming deeper and stronger, But i am numb, The pain bearly known, The end is near, And yet he still wants more, He isn't satisfied, And as I lay their dying, I see him leave, I'm alone, The comfort and numbness now gone, And as i dye, I hear him laugh, As he goes off in search of someone new, He was my steel lover.1
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Should I delete this?
Comments
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No, don't delete, I like it
Though I can see the steel lover theme at the end, and I think you could expand on it a bit more, it's a very good idea!
Also There were a few spelling punctuation and grammer errors that I think you could fix if you red over it.
But, for the most part this was a really good story
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THX!
I really needed to know whiether it was worth keeping. Thx for the great comment!
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