Envy in Despair (*Contest Entry*)


Gabriel stood there motionless and distraught among the dead flowers below his feet; he held in his palm a dying rose. "Even though my heart never bled, i still bled for you in my soul. Even though i never lived before, i still know that i need you more."

Author notes

eh, it may not be much but i tried to capture the raw emotion of wanting to feel alive but still dealing with that lingering feeling of emptiness and nothingness while trying to love something (or someone) that you can never truly and fully love because your "empty" emotion holds you back. Like , someone who can never feel love just envy and hate so their held back by that constant restriction and need... i dont know! lol i tried my best. hope you understand it and like it ha.

- yeah i couldnt figure out how to make it into two sentences so, yeah i know. . . i just felt like i needed to explain the sentence a little more and add some detail .

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    November 15, 2009

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    It's a good entry- but I think you could have done without the last sentence to keep it at two sentences. Also, I'd suggest capitalizing your I's.
    Overall, beautiful sentences and well constructed. I liked them. Thank you very much for your entry

    Pixie


  • Moving Forever
    November 6, 2009
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    even though its not two sentences, its still really cool!! =D


    • XBlackRosesGaloreX
      November 6, 2009
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      *sniffle* thanks haha if only i could write two setences with enough detail for it to make sense! grrr haha . i alwways put too much detail in the simplest things ha. thanks for the comment by the way, glad you liked it even though it may not have a spot in this contest.


  • Sonic Banana
    November 4, 2009
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    This isn't 2 sentences. Sorry. I didn't even bother reading it just because it's not 2 sentences.


    • XBlackRosesGaloreX
      November 5, 2009
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      i know its not two sentences. -_- i tried my best to tie it all together without crossing the boundaries.i did have two sentences before but it didnt make sense so i tried to put more detail into it. sorry to disappoint...

1 - 5 of 5