"BLAM", a sudden booming loud sound was heard coming from the direction of the kitchen, it was like four cannon going off at once, assaulting my ears and jerked me awake from my reverie. As I quikened my pace towards the source of the sound, I felt a chilled wind blowing into the house through the open-window and it turned the atmosphere inside frigid all of a sudden, giving rise to irregular sizes of goosebumps on my arms.
Author notes
I think this might stun you...
Happy reading^^
A contest entry
- Stun Me in 2 Sentences by Lady Pixie.
175 points, ended November 17, 52 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I think the comma after 'kitchen' could easily be a semi-colon instead.
quickened (not quikened- well, unless that's the non-american spelling or something that I don't know about lol).
Overall, this was a great hook- it certainly intrigued me
I liked the way you described the sound and your reaction to the sound, and would have liked to read more. Thank you very much for your entry!

Pixie


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"From the star above..."
Hihi, typing error lol...
However, I wanted to asked that are there any ways I can correct the error in it...
Thanks for the comment by the way^^
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hmmm!
I love how you tastefully crammed that many words into just 2 sentences.. very nice
I'm wondering what the sound was caused by now >_>


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Good start
It does lend a sense of foreboding. I've never had much luck with 'sounds', but this is pretty effective. Sometimes I like to leave it up to the readers imagination. Again, four cannon probably sounds different to every reader, maybe "a tremendous blast that was too close for comfort" or something like that. "turned the atmosphere frigid instantly, covering my arms with goosebumps."






