Excuses

Excuses1

Kaitlyn Silvey2

It was on one morning, Monday February 21st, 1995, to be exact, that my problems began. My name is Hannah Montgomery, and my parents had been fighting lately. Although we were never the perfect family, things were getting worse. My father was abusive, and both my parents were drug addicts. I was born an only child and I did not like the neighborhood in which I grew up; a neighborhood in Los Angeles. Gangs around every corner, drunks living on our doorstep, and an overwhelming crime rate. Anyway, on that Monday the 21st, my parents weren't at the apartment when I woke up, I suspected they were out doing their usual routine of finding a dealer that they could get their drugs from. I continued my regular day of going to middle school, therapy, and then to my apartment. Around seven PM, when I got home, my parents still weren't there, I just assumed that they were off in a bar somewhere getting drunk.3

A few weeks had passed with my messed up life with no adults at home, when I got a call. The person on the other end asked if I was Hannah Montgomery and I, of course, answered yes. It was then that I found out the reason for my parents' absence. It was the police that had called. They told me that, as I suspected, my parents had gone out, found a dealer, bought drugs from him, and then, got drunk. But what happed next, I could never have guessed. After going to the bar, my parents drove to the Arkansas River and watched to moon reflect off the water. My father then had one of his violent outbursts and attacked my mother. He allegedly dumped her corpse into the river and went back to the bar. On his way home, he was driving too drunk to comprehend the lights, signs, and pedestrians. He was at the intersection of Kellogg Ave and Rock St when he ran a red light and was hit by a passing semi truck. He died on the scene. I know it is wrong, but I was more relieved than distraught.4

I, being too young to work, was soon evicted. I was only on the street for one or two hours, when I saw a blue bus pulling over onto the sidewalk that I was standing on. I knew that my location was not a bus stop, so I looked more closely to the lettering on the side. It said, Church of Christ. Me, not being religious, wondered why it was here. The only church in this part of town was miles away. The bus stopped, and a priest walked out and looked at me as if he expected me to say if the apocalypse was tomorrow. He stood there intent on staring me right into the eye until, I uttered a quick, what do you want? His eyes lit up. It was like he had been waiting for me to say that for an eternity. The priest was wearing a white robe and hat, he looked almost like the Pope. The weird looking man held out a piece of blue paper. It told about a camp for teenagers, whose lives had taken a few wrong turns. It was also signed by federal departments from around the city. Apparently the camp was free. I didn't know what to say. Another man walked out of the bus. He, I recognized. He was a really old friend that I hadn't seen in years. He used to be a druggie and an alcoholic, that was before he was caught and sent to juvenile hall.5

He now wore bright colors, as opposed to his previous "gothic" look. The older man stepped back into the bus, leaving my friend and I alone. "Daike!" I gasped. I had never thought I would see him again. I ran up and hugged him. 6

"Hannah," he said,” I have good news, I have heard that you have been in some rough times....." he continued and explained the bus and why he was here. The bus was for a Christian Orphanage. He said that if I would go with him onto the bus, the church would take me in, and help me get back on my feet. To me, this was a dream come true. Normally, I wouldn't have gone onto the bus, but on this particular occasion, I had nowhere else to go. About an hour later, I found myself staring right at the gates of the Church of Christ Orphanage. I asked Daike what the group was going to do after we were inside. He replied," We aren't going inside, we have to get on another bus that will take us to the campsite." I didn't think that it was an actual campsite, I thought that it was just a regular orphanage. 7

But I didn't say that, I just said, like I actually knew before hand," Oh, I thought we were going to stay the night." He laughed at me, and he knew, all too well from past experience, that I had no idea. The bus ride seemed to last forever, but at last, after five and a half hours on the road, we were there. The campsite was a remote, forest like area. It was out of the way by a long shot to say the least. There were priests in abundance. It looked more like a prison than a campsite with all of the guards. Daike said that they were there to keep the majority of kids life himself, that came from juvi, inline. Daike did appear to have changed for the better, but I could already tell, that he still had some issues to work out.8

I asked him how many people here are from juvi, He said," Yes." That, as I understood, meant all of them except for me. Now, I understood the reason for all of the guards. Even though the kids didn't have to stay, the guards had to keep fights down to a minimum. Seeing as though I was surrounded by what the priests referred to as "sinful" people, I began to remember my parents. I never cried, or was even sad, I just wished that they could've been better people. It was surprising, even with all of the guards and priests, most everyone had a drug of one kind or another. I never saw Daike doing anything, he was just acting more secretive than usual, like he was before he was sentenced. He thought that he could hide it from me, but I knew, that he was still a druggie. Unlike him, I can hide knowledge and keep secrets unknown, so I didn't tell him or anyone else, that I knew about it. On the second day, the priests gave everyone a bible. I didn't bother to read, no one else did either. 9

The camp wasn't as much a camp as a remote boarding school for rejects. Daike was getting more obvious with his hangovers than ever. Now, not only did I know, most of the guards and priests did too. I wondered why they didn't do anything. More than once, I have seen them walk in on drug binges and not take action. It was beginning to look like this was just a place for people like Daike to go to do what they want, and not influence the kids that grew up the right way. This "orphanage" was just an outlet for juvenile delinquents. I wasn't one of them, I didn't know why I was here. Although I had a rough beginning, and the potential to become one of them, I was not. This thought stayed in my head for weeks afterward. Even though I cared for Daike, I decided to stay away from him. I had decided that he would only lead my life to ruin. 10

He looked enraged, I could see that even from across the camp, he was noticeably more distressed and easily angered since I had started avoiding him. Daike had noticed that I was doing this, and he often tried to approach me to ask why. Every time he did this, I would casually continue with what I was doing and ignore him, until one day. On this day, he approached me as usual, but this time, he had some of his druggie friends behind him. Unlike all the other times, I looked over, letting them see that I noticed them. I didn't know what would happen next. Daike opened with his usual line," Hannah, why you avoiding me?"11

This time I answered. "Why do you give a shit?” I boldly asked, though I didn't expect an answer. I don't know what happened next, but I awoke a few hours later in a hospital. The nurses did not even attempt to inform me of where I was or why I was here. I overheard some doctors and nurses talking in the hall, it sounded like they said it was a gang mutiny that turned lethal. I screamed for someone to help me, but still, no one came. I felt very alone. Eventually, I fell asleep. It was a deep slumber that lasted for what seemed like the rest of eternity. I did not wake up for a day. This time when I did, I got a little attention, but it was not from who I wanted. 12

Daike was in the hall talking to someone, I could not make out who it was, but I was able to tell that Daike was hysteric. He seemed to actually care about what he did to me, whatever it was, and I knew it was him because I recalled the incident in a dream. The person Daike was talking to was a doctor, the very one that had ignored me earlier. I couldn't tell why Daike was mad, he was the one who put me here in the first place. The doctor walked into the room that I lied in. He asked if I remembered the person who had just stormed out of the hospital, I muttered," Yes, though I wish I didn't." The doctor seemed to be thinking just as I was.13

A few minutes later, the blue bus showed up at the hospital, I was surprised, but I still didn't want to go back. Through the window, I could see Daike was going back onto the bus, but a guard that I recognized from the camp, was walking out and toward the building. He soon arrived at the room I was in, he did nothing but tell me to get ready because I was going back. I didn't protest, for I knew that I was an orphan, and I didn't have a choice. I was on the bus when I saw Daike in the back with his druggie friends. I tried to find an open seat, but the only one available was in the back, right next to Daike. I looked for the guard, but the bus was too crowded, so I walked back, and promised to myself that I wouldn't talk to him.14

As I sat next to him, my heart beat quickened. He now was sensible enough to know why I wasn't talking to him. For the whole ride back to the campsite, he didn't say anything. I was thankful. Although the many eyes of the rest of the kids on the bus were always focused on me and him, and we both noticed it, we didn't speak. Life continued, as it always does, and I saw that the other kids were always checking in on me to make sure that I was still okay. Later, I found out something that I didn't know. Here in this camp, Daike was the best fighter, most vengeful, and had the most brutal background. It seemed to me, that because I had a history with him, that I was expected be the same way. When news of the fight had spread through the camp, and I would hardly call it a fight so much as an ambush, people thought that I would be killed for my mutiny towards him.15

I even became somewhat famous throughout camp. There were literally thousands of people there that had heard of me and how I survived an ambush from the toughest gang in the city. Now, I had a reputation, just like Daike's, but he had one score above me for his winning the brawl. I was respected by all the people there, except for Daike and his gang. I had no gang of my own, and I didn't want one. I was fine by myself. As the days and eventually months went by, Daike's gang grew. I was still a loner, but I had fought many, and had established a great skill. With more and more people being sent to the camp, there were more and more fights. Even with three times as many people, everyone there except for me was from juvi. 16

About five months after the fight with Daike, he approached me once again. He still had his whole gang behind him, but this time it was much bigger. I stood up. Word spread fast at the camp. Everyone knew that there was going to be a fight immediately after I stood. I could tell that Daike, as well as I, had learned to fight with more skill. This time, though, I was severely outnumbered. "Daike, have some dignity, are you so afraid to fight me that you have to get all of your friends to help you?" I smugly remarked. Daike motioned his gang back. 17

He replied," That is not why I am here. I just wanted to say sorry. I was drunk last time." 18

"When are you not?" I found it fun to piss him off. 19

He stared intently at me, and I the same to him. He motioned to his gang, I stepped back. They all turned back and walked to their cabin. I walked to mine too. I shared a cabin with 3 guys, although it was against the camp rules, nobody cared. It was their decision to be here, not mine. There was Hadan, who was in Daike's gang, and he seemed nice enough, but I knew that it was just a show because I am a female. Seth also shared the cabin with me, he wasn't in a gang, but he always associated with them. Finally, there was Drako. He was quiet, but also seemed to be scheming like Seth and Hadan. All of them smoked and occasionally had a beer in the cabin. I can't say that I didn't mind, but I could see that if I were to say something, they would take much offense. 20

One night after the camp dinner, I went back to the cabin to get some rest. I found that Hadan, Seth, and Drako weren't at the cabin yet, so I just got into my own bed and tried to sleep. I heard yelling outside. I recognized the voices, it was Seth and Daike. I jumped out of bed and ran outside. Just as I got out of the door I saw them, and the first blow was taken. Daike had stricken Seth! Out of instinct, I ran and tried to help Seth. I didn't fight, but I got Seth out of the fight and helped him to the cabin and assessed the damage. Daike had hit him in the gut and the face. He had a broken nose, and he was bleeding very much in his stomach, I didn't ever find out what had happened. Right after I had brought Seth into the cabin, the door swung open, it was Daike, Hadan, and Drako. I could see that Daike was still upset, and this time ashamed. Was he upset that I saw him do it? Or did he not want me to help Seth, I couldn't tell. 21

Hadan, Seth's best friend, rushed in and tried to reassure Seth. I could already tell that he Seth was going to die. I started to cry. Daike saw this and turned around. He was ashamed, and I am sure that he knew what he had done. I yelled at Drako to go get the medical counselor. He darted off with tears in his eyes. The life in Seth was failing, I could see it in his eyes, the brightness that was usually in them was fading. I cried more fiercely than I had ever before. As I was crying, I had my head on Seth's shoulder, I felt him take his last breath. He slowly breathed out his last words, he said " Hannah, please don't be mad at Daike, and please don't cry, I'll be alright." Just then, Drako sprinted in with the medical counselor. I shook my head. Drako started to sob. Hadan, who was in the room the entire time was still in shock from what Seth had said. I turned around to glance at Daike, but he was gone. The day after Seth had died, I went around to ask if anyone had seen Daike recently. Everybody shook their heads "No." I walked to the cabin that he usually slept in, but their was nothing. I spent the day looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found. I walked to my cabin, and my bed still had Seth's blood stains on it, I sat. It was then that I noticed that there was a note taped to my pillow, It read:22

" Hannah, I am sorry, so much so that no words can describe it. I have left the camp at 3:00 on Sunday afternoon," It was only 3:30 on Sunday," Please come and leave with me, I am a mile north of camp with supplies waiting for you. If you aren't there by 9:00 on Sunday, I will assume that you aren't coming. Please, please come Hannah. I need to talk to you."23

Love, Daike. 24

I wanted to go, but I was less inclined to go because he used the word "Love," not "Sincerely," or even," Always." But I decided to go and see him, I wanted answers. It was 4:00 by the time I got one mile north of the camp, I saw him immediately. He was sitting on a rock, not by himself, I might add. Hadan, Drako, and some other guy that I didn't recognize were with him. They didn't see me yet. But I walked forward. Drako is the most vigilant, so he saw me first. He looked up, and tapped Daike on the shoulder to tell him that I was there. " I am...." he tried to say, but I interrupted him with this," What the hell is going on?!" He flinched as if I had just hit him.25

Before Daike could answer, I saw the other person with Daike, it was Brian. Brian was a notorious member of Daike's gang, second in command. He was more sensitive to the fact that Seth had died, otherwise, he and Daike were the same. Daike just motioned for me to follow him and for the other people to stay back. I followed him about a quarter mile away from his friends. " Hannah, I struck Seth with great reason and urgency." he continued," Please, if I didn't stop him, he would have.." 26

I cut him off again," He would have what?!"27

"He would have hurt you!" Daike exclaimed. He started to tear. "I had no choice, I don't want you to get hurt." I didn't believe him, but I could see that he was truly sorry.28

"I didn't mean to kill him. You have to believe me!" he begged.29

I answered emphatically," It's okay, I believe you. I know that you would never have killed him if you had a choice."30

He didn't seem to believe me. I hugged him and motioned to him to go back to his friends. All of us set off for town after Daike and I got back. When we set up camp that night, I asked Daike why Seth had wanted to hurt me. He simply answered," He loved you, and he wanted you to himself, for you to live by his rules, and to never talk to me or anyone else again." I nodded.31

" Why did you put Love, Daike on your letter? I asked.32

" Because I do, in a way," He said innocently. I had always known that he had feelings for me, but I didn't believe that they were still on his mind. He looked at me, he expected me to say something else, but what? What would a girl do in this position? I just stayed silent. 33

" I guess I really don't care...," I said hesitantly.34

" Don't care?!" he gasped, " I just told you that I love you, and you don't care?!"35

" Well, what do you expect me to say?" I asked with my head tilted downward. He just paused and replied, " I don't exactly know." I stayed silent the rest of the night. I thought about how Daike had just confessed his feelings for me, and how I was going to answer to him tomorrow. I could see that the guys were whispering among themselves after the fire had gone out. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I heard no sarcasm, only seriousness. That was very, very uncommon for them. 36

I awoke the next morning with a severe headache. I didn't say anything about it, I thought that it would only be a burden for the guys and especially Daike. I think that we had hiked about 10 miles toward town on that day. My estimates were that, if we kept this pace, we should reach town in maybe a week or two. Brian sat down a lot, I figured that he must just be weary and perhaps be missing his other friends at the campsite. I hadn't talked for that whole day, and I could see that neither of the guys really wanted to talk to me, only among themselves, like the nights before. Finally, Daike asked me something," Hannah, what is wrong, you aren't talking very much."37

"I didn't have a reason to I said, not even glancing at him. It was then that Brian spoke up," Daike, I heard you talking to Hannah a few days back, you said that you love her. You, if I am not mistaken, are very serious, are you not?"38

"I am." he answered39

" Okay," Brian said," then why are you not treating her like she should be treated?"40

" Excuse me," I interrupted," I am fine with the way I am being treated, and there is nothing wrong with me, I just have a minor headache. Neither of you need to worry about me, I can take care of myself. And, furthermore, I don't think that you love me Daike, for you are always either drunk, wasted, or stoned. Now, please leave me be, I am going to bed." Neither of them said anything. Hadan was the most sensitive to my feelings, so he followed me to my makeshift bed that Daike had arranged for me. He explained that Daike did have strong feelings for me, he said that he couldn't tell weather it was sorrow, pity, or as Daike said, love. I was starting to get tired, and Hadan realized this, so he hugged me goodnight, and went back towards the area where he, Brian, Daike, and Drako slept.41

It was as I thought, we were arriving at town a week and a half after we had run away from the camp. 42

" Daike, where are we going to stay?" I asked him.43

" Troy's house," he answered. We had not said much since we had our little face off with Brian. Drako had spent the most time with me since then, followed by Hadan. Drako offered words of encouragement, and Hadan, words of coping. I could tell that Brian was upset about something, but what? Daike had always acted depressed, but now he was worse. He only talked when he had to, and often avoided communication. We got to Troy's later that afternoon. He said that he was glad to see us all. I didn't know that he had known Brian beforehand. Troy was nice enough to give me my own room, and it was the biggest. Daike, Hadan, and Drako shared the second room, while Brian and Troy shared the living room. Troy brought me some new clothes one day after he got home from work. He was also able to get all of the guys jobs too. I had just recently had my 15th birthday and it was 1997. I wanted to get a good job, but all of the open jobs were reserved for someone older than me. Daike and the others were ranging in age from 16 to 21. Daike was 17. I still thought it odd that he was so honest and open about his intentions and feelings. A month or so after we had gotten to Troy's house, he had mentioned how much he wanted me again, but that was long past now. Once again, life went on, and it never seized to do so.44

It was on one afternoon, when I was sitting on the couch, waiting for the guys to get home from work, when I realized that I actually had feelings for him! I had actually considered going out with Daike! I thought it impossible, but somehow, here I was, and in my mind, I pictured him kissing me, and I didn't mind. I had sunken lower than I had ever thought I could. Before I knew it, I had written a note telling all the guys that I had left, and I was never coming back, and was going out of town. I wondered what Daike would think as he read the note, maybe sorrow, and he might be happy too. Happy to have his burden of love gone away forever.45

I was at the city limit sign, when I fell. I had no real reason to, but I fell to my knees and wept. I cried and sobbed until I couldn't do it anymore. I passed out. I thought it was from dehydration, but I will never be sure. I woke up in the same hospital that I had gone to when I had fought with Daike, but people were around me. My vision was too poor to recognize them right away, but it was the guys, all of them. Daike, Hadan, Brian, and Drako. There were flowers and candles on the side table. I felt a burst of joy run through my veins. I sat up and hugged Daike so tightly that he couldn't breath well. He wiped my cheek, I had not realized that I was crying, I was too overjoyed to notice something that small. I whispered," I'm sorry," into his ear many times. He started to cry too. The other guys stood at the foot of the hospital bed and watched Daike and I cry together.46

For the next few days, Daike and me were always together. He took off work, and he stayed at Troy's house with me all day. Troy didn't mind him not having a job, he thought it best, and he feared that I might run away again. I learned that if Daike hadn't found me, I would be dead. The doctor said that I had collapsed from dehydration, anxiety, stress, and depression. I eventually became myself again, and Daike still didn't go back to work. I wondered why, but I guess that it was just for my own good. A few days later, I awoke to find all of the guys in my room, which we all agreed was inappropriate. Hadan saw me sit up, and he walked over to my bed.47

" Hannah," he said," We are moving. There has been some changes in the neighborhood, so we think it unsafe for any of us to be here any longer." I saw Drako glance over, there was blood on his arm and it stained the rim of his white shirt. I gasped. Daike left the room as I did this, and I didn't even get a good look at him to see if he had any injuries too. Troy was at the main drawer, the one with all of my clothes in it. He glanced at me, then continued packing my stuff into a suite case.48

" Where are we gonna go?" I asked. Nobody spoke. Daike walked back in as I was saying this and I saw that he had a gunshot wound in his arm.49

" What the hell is going on?! Where are we moving to? Why are we moving? And finally, Why the hell are you so badly hurt?" I exclaimed, then I fell to the ground and fainted. Three days later, I woke up again. I was in a white room, but it wasn't the kind that hospitals had. I managed to see a window on the right side of the room, I looked through it. What I saw was a hell in all of it's senses. I was back at the apartment that I lived in before my parents died. I nearly fainted again, when I heard footsteps down the hallway. They were heavy, but at the same time, quick and hasty. I knew that it was Troy. He walked into the room with a agitated look on his face. before I could even ask, he ran to the bed and confessed this," Hannah, please don't be mad, he, he is in the emergency room. He is unstable. We must get out of here now!"50

" Who, who is at in the emergency room?!" I stammered.51

" Daike!" he wailed. Without another word, I was running out of the door, still tears ran down my cheeks, as if they had never stopped. I ran to the hospital, and I didn't even know if Troy was following me. I felt a hand grab my shoulder, I turned around, my heart beating rapidly. I didn't recognize the person, but before I could scream, I was in a back alley being beaten by what I thought were muggers. I tried to fight them off, but I was so severely out numbered, I knew it hopeless. At the one time that I wanted to faint, I couldn't. And I will tell you this, it was that night, on that night, that I found out how unmerciful the world can be.52

I was thrown into the trunk of a very large car. I had plenty of room to move about, but my hands and feet were bound. I had a gag in my mouth, and, I found it extremely hard to do anything other than breath. " Daike!" I called out in hopes that he would somehow hear me. I once again found it hopeless. As I lay there, I thought of my friends, and more so if Daike was okay, but most of all, if I was going to be okay, and what these people wanted from me. I started to cry, and I was unable to stop. But how could I start crying, if I had never stopped? And how could I have never stopped crying? And finally, why do I deserve this? I asked myself all of these questions over and over again in my head, until I was interrupted by the trunk opening. I saw a dusty and dirty face, filled with wicked and twisted thoughts.53

I thought that he, of all people, was the most Satanic that I could have ever imagined. He smiled a horrid smile, and what really bothered me, is that he only seemed to be 18 of 19 at the most, young people like me and Daike should never be that wicked or evil. It was surely a work of the Devil, I thought. His smile turned into a grin, and then a content, satisfied face took over.54

"Maldrid!" I heard him call out. " Don't worry, you'll be fine. Nobody here wants to hurt you," he said quietly to me. I shuddered at his voice, it was full of scornfulness and it rasped so much. He saw the tears that still ran from my eyes, and he was shaken. It seemed to me, that he actually felt sorry for me, maybe he was picturing himself in my predicament, or maybe I was just so horrible to look at. The one he called to, Maldrid, appeared. This person was no older than 21. So much evil in this world. Maldrid was not as good looking as the other guy, but both of them were ugly. Maldrid bore a scar across his face, and a tattoo of some flames on his shoulder. He wore torn clothes and had long hair for a guy.55

" Please, take me to the Heaven May hospital," I pleaded. It seemed that neither of them even heard me. On the contrary, I heard Maldrid say something to the other person. It sounded like he said," stay, I am leaving. Take care of her, and Greg, be careful to not let her go." But I couldn't be sure. The man that Maldrid called Greg, held out his hand in a gesture for me to grab it. I did, but as he held my hand, and helped me up, I winced. The rope had cut my hand, it was like a razor, and it was stuck deep into my flesh. He saw this and he still pulled me up. I stood, and I had no idea where I was. 56

I asked," What is your name?"57

" Gregory, but you, Hannah, can call me Greg." he answered with a real smile on his face.58

" Why am I here, at this place, with you?" I asked more intently.59

" Because Maldrid wants revenge." I heard him grumble, this time with an irritated look. I decided not to ask anymore questions. Greg led me inside a small building, it was in the middle of nowhere. The building was built into a hill, and the hill was surrounded by more hills, and eventually mountains. I was no longer bound, for he had cut the ropes when he saw my injury. There was a comfortable looking couch in which a small puppy sat. The puppy's collar said Broon. Must be a boy, I thought. Greg motioned for me to sit, and I was once again, obedient. The puppy's tail was wagging wildly.60

" You look distressed," he said numbly.61

" As I well should be," I said quickly, without knowing how rude I had sounded.62

" Well, you shouldn't be," he added," Daike is going to be just fine, and so are you, you're in good hands."63

" How do you know him?" I asked.64

" We used to be friends." he once again replied numbly and without any emotion. I was startled that he was involved with Daike. He quickly added," Don't you want to know why you're here?" I ignored his question and asked one of my own, 65

" Who else do you know that I do?" 66

" All of them, and those that have passed on too."67

" So you knew Seth?" I pressed on.68

" Yes, Yes I did, he was a good friend, before he was caught and sent to that shit-hole camp." he answered.69

" I think I do know why I am here now, you want revenge on Daike for killing him, do you not?" I questioned. He muttered something quick and quietly to himself, then managed a glance over my way," Yup." I figured as much, I thought. We talked for an hour or two after that. We were talking about how he knew Seth, and how Seth had told him about me in past phone calls, when Maldrid walked into the room. He shot a glance Greg's way, then Mine.70

" So you managed to keep her here didn't you?" He laughed and passed something to Greg, then to me, he threw some Pepsi and some chips. I looked at what he had given Greg, and it disappointed me greatly. He had weed in his hands and was stuffing some into a pipe. He saw my face, and put it down. Maldrid has something else, but I didn't get a look at it, but he put it down as Greg did his. Maldrid passed something else toward me, I caught it. It was a package, inside of it was some hydrogen peroxide and a few bandages. He pointed to my wounded wrist, and I worked to clean the cuts. To tell you the truth, I was surprised at how well my captors had kept me. I was probably in better condition than I was when I was when my parents were still alive. It was then, when I was thinking about them, that I remembered the way things used to be. I was so depressed, and somehow, more happy then I am at this point in the story. I was so sad, and for the first time, tears ran down my cheeks that were shed for my family, so far gone. It had been almost three years since then, and this was one of the very few times that I had even mentioned them in my mind. I tried to push the thought out of my head, but the only way I found to do that, was to cry.71

" Are you okay?" Maldrid asked. this was the first time he had spoken directly to me. I was startled at how clear his voice was.72

" Yes," I managed to say, but it was lost in tears, tears that I didn't want, but somehow, they were needed. Greg looked at me, until I felt uncomfortable crying in front of these poor souls. I didn't even know if they had heard about my parents, but they seemed to feel sympathy. How nice, that even as me as their prisoner, they were so understanding. Even Greg had bothered to tell me that Daike was going to be ok, I mean, they never even had to do that. But, maybe, it was for themselves, maybe they wanted no guilt out of this whole experience. Even as they were exceedingly nice, I was terrified. I mean, who wouldn't be. If two, possibly more, people came up to you as you were going to check in on your dieing friend, and they kidnapped you, and told you that they knew your history, wouldn't you be freaked out?! Well, even if you wouldn't have been, I was.73

It was like this for a good another four hours. Eventually, Maldrid fell asleep on the couch across the room. Greg still sat reading a book on the couch that I was on. He spoke up suddenly," Hannah, why are you so at ease with what is going on?"74

" What else am I supposed to be, crying doesn't help. And I find your company much superior to that of Daike's. But, how do you know that he is okay?" I responded.75

" That is what Maldrid went to do, see if he was alright, and to get you some food and medical supplies. And I too, think that you are fine company." I nodded in approval, and Greg got up. He woke up Maldrid, then made a motion to him, suggesting that I was the subject of their conversation. Maldrid glanced over to me, he got up and locked the door with a rusty key. Greg started to walk toward one of the other rooms, one of which I had not noticed before, and turned around. He made a motion for me to follow, so I did. I walked into the room with him. It was a bedroom, a very large one at that. The house seemed to be a mansion in the mountain, I was awed at it. He pointed to a bed at the back of the room, and I understood that I was to go to sleep. I started walking toward the bed, and once again, I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I turned around. I saw Greg's face, which I had fully expected, but this time it was not full of rage, but something else. He quickly kissed me, and tried to turn around immediately, but I grabbed him and slapped him across the face. What happened next was quite comical. He yelled out," Damn!, you can sure defend yourself!" I looked toward the door, but Maldrid was standing in the door way, smiling fiercely. He was leaning against one of the sides too. He started to laugh.76

" I told you not to mess with her." He laughed," She is very loyal to him." he continued to tease. Greg turned toward me again, humiliation and satisfaction was swept across his face. He started to laugh too, and to my surprise I did too. Sorry, I managed to say, but for once, I was truly happy. I was at Maldrid and Greg's place for four more days living the good life, when a knock came at the door. Greg was laughing at a joke that Maldrid had just said, when he answered the door. His smile was depleted as he saw who was at the door, it was Daike, Hadan, Troy, Drako, and Brian! In a rush of fury, Daike punched Greg in the face. I screamed, and Maldrid pulled a hand gun out of his pocket. All of them rushed in, armed with knives and Daike, a hand gun as well. I was sitting on the corner of the couch when Hadan spotted me," Daike," he yelled," There she is!" Daike rushed toward me, and then, as if nothing had ever happened, he held me. I pushed him back, or at least I tried to.77

" You don't understand!," I yelled," these are my friends, don’t hurt them!" Daike, startled, looked at me, then picked me up, and started running toward the door.78

" Wait!" I heard Maldrid gasp," Give her back. But as he said this, Daike was loading me into the back seat of his car. Hadan and the others came in almost immediately afterward. Before either Greg, Maldrid, or I knew what was going on, I was back with Daike. I looked out of the back window, hoping to see Maldrid an Greg a few feet away, but they were standing on their porch, getting farther, and farther away. Just then, I heard a gunshot. It was fired very close, and I knew it had come from Daike's gun. I saw Maldrid fall, and Greg try to catch him. We turned a corner, and it seemed that all of what had just happened was a memory and nothing more.79

" You know that you didn't have to do that," I said to Daike a few minutes after he had "rescued" me," I was better off there. And plus, you are a lying piece of shit!"80

" Just think what you want, it doesn't matter to me, as long as you are away from them and with me." He said, while not even looking back at me. I scowled at him fiercely. We didn't talk for the rest of the drive back into town. I noticed that Drako didn't have the usual, hopeful gleam in his eye, and it startled me too. I looked at Daike, who was driving, even though he didn't have a license. He too, looked even more depressed and in pain than ever before. Hadan was sitting in front, next to Daike, he was looking very dull, for a person of his attitude anyway. Troy seemed to be happy, almost eerily so. How can everyone except him and Brian be so glum, while people were so, well, different?81

When we got back to the apartment, Daike motioned for me to follow him into the other room, I followed, but all the others stayed. He closed the door behind me. His mood was the same as it was before.82

" Daike," I said," What is going on? I am scared." He looked at me as if he was surprised, which I knew he wasn't.83

" Hannah, do you remember, back before I was caught, the fights that had occurred? I'm sure you do." he whispered. It was true that I did, they were what is now referred to as gang wars, or blood baths. I was involved with most of the ones that had dealt with Daike, but I hated them. He was always hurt, and people died so often. What usually caused them was hate, or possessions; possessions like money, women, property, or drugs. Or a combination of those. Daike was always at them, and he would sometimes bring me, I didn't know why at the time, but I realized, when he was being sentenced, that one of the charges was betting with the life of an innocent bystander, which I was told was me.84

" Yes..., you aren't getting involved with that again, are you?" I asked empathetically. Daike paused, and said," well, Hannah, I was at one a few days before you were taken, and well, I hid, and I heard our old gang and enemies talking about us. All of us, you, me, Brian, Hadan, and the rest of us. Apparently, they all knew that we were back, and our old friends were fighting over you, and betting on who could get you from me, and how they would kill all of us, except you. They said that you would be a useful bargaining chip for the judge of a murder that one of them had committed. Others just said that you would be good "company." He confessed. I was stunned, I didn't even know that they remembered me, let alone, fighting and betting with my life again. 85

" So is that why I was taken?" I asked.86

" Yes, that was one of the many gangs that wanted you for something or another. And there will be more if you don’t come with us to a club that I heard they would be betting at again. It might be dangerous, but it is the only way to stop this." He said, as he was handing me a knife," You can use this if you need it, we are leaving in ten minutes." I nodded, and walked toward the washroom. I looked at my reflection, and I realized that it had been a very long time since I had seen it. I looked so different, and dirty. I washed my face and brushed my hair, so I looked at least halfway decent. I walked out, and for once, everyone was smiling and laughing. They all got up, as if on queue.87

" Come on Hannah, we ought to get there as soon as possible, it has already started," Drako stated. We walked down the street, and through the alleyways, I sighed, it was so much like it used to be. Daike saw a doorway, he pointed towards it.88

" Hannah, you need to go in by yourself and tell them off by yourself, I will be by the door if you get any trouble." Daike mentioned. So, I walked to the door, and I saw my old friends, the ones that I had been told were betting on me. I saw another group of my old friends walking down the other side of the alleyway from Daike. I hadn't entered yet, but I noticed that my old friends walking down the alleyway had seen me, and a few of them were running down to meet me. I saw Alex first. He was much taller than he had been four years ago, the last time I had saw him. He was 18 now, and was easily able to pick me up and hug me. I was still in his arms when I saw my old ex boyfriend, Christian. He was not much younger than Daike, but he was also very tall. He took me away from Alex and started babbling about how much he had missed me.89

A few of the other people who had been inside the club had came out into the alleyway to see what all the noise was for. One of them almost feinted, I wondered why, it wasn't like I had died or something. Christian put me down and opened the door for me. I thanked him, and I was startled at the immense number of people inside. When Daike and I used to go into these things, there were 50 people at the most, now there were hundreds. All of them either yelled with joy, or gasped with disbelief. I heard Daike's voice at that moment, and I turned around. I saw him pushing towards the entrance with Hadan, Brian, Drako, and Troy. In a few seconds, I felt my had being grabbed my Daike. He motioned towards a table, then we started to walk towards it. Christian pulled a chair out for me, but I said," I am not stupid. I know what I am being classified as if I sit." Christian had always treated me as if I was totally incapable, and retarded. In fact, the rules, were that if one sat down at a bidding table, they were up for bidding.90

" Christian tried to push me onto the chair, and Daike saw this. In a second, Christian was on the floor. Daike had just taken down Christian, I screamed, and a few of Christian's friends, including Alex, yelled out curses and hateful things. In a moment, there was a huge fight, including my friends, Christian's gang, and others who thought that they should be involved. I felt people try to grab me, knowing that Daike was too busy to notice anything that happened to me. I yelled for Daike, but he was nowhere to be seen. I didn't see Christian on the ground anymore. I looked back and I saw his face. He looked down to see me, and grinned. I yelled for Daike or anyone that could help me again, but I was being carried out by Christian and Alex. I was put down outside, but Alex still held my arm so hard that it bled. More people came out after us, it seemed that the entire club was following the scene. I saw Hadan push through the crowd, and rush for Alex. Hadan had Alex on the ground immediately, but Alex still didn't let go of me.91

Before I knew it, all of my friends were out in the open trying to help me, but Daike was still missing. It was then that I remembered my knife. With my free arm, I grasped it, and I shoved it through Alex's arm, he screamed in agony, but he still didn't let go of my arm. I twisted the knife, and finally, he lost his grip. Hadan jumped off of him, and so did Troy, Drako, and Brian. They turned their backs toward me and each of them was on a different side of me. I was surrounded by them, they were on my side. 92

For a moment, I felt as if I was safe, but was cruelly cast back into the here and now. I wasn't safe, and Daike might be dieing somewhere. Christian tried to pick Alex up, but Alex was in so much pain, that he didn't respond. Filled with rage, Christian flung himself against Hadan to get at me, but luckily for me, Hadan was strong. The vision of Daike being dead flashed through my mind, and I was compelled to do something about it.93

" Hadan!" I yelled," Let me through, I need to find Daike. I'll meet you at the apartment in two hours." Hadan nodded in approval and let me through. Christian was still trying to get me, but I was a faster runner than he, so I easily escaped. I ran towards the club, and then the bar. No sign of him at all. Christian still ran behind me, I wonder why. I saw a crowd at where I had last saw Daike. I ran towards it, and people were crying and shaking their heads in disbelief. It was then, that I saw a scene that I will never forget. There was a person lying on the ground, blood washed over his face and body. There were pools of blood in his eyes, and then, I recognized those mystifying blue eyes.94

" Daike!," I wailed," No, no, it can't be true. This isn't happening...." I was him breath, a glimmer of hope arose in me, I fell to the ground to help him. I felt his pulse, he was alive and he was trying to say something," Hannah, I love you.." My heart arose. I tried to pick him up, but he was much too heavy for me. Then, someone stepped up, grabbed his arm, then nodded for me to try again, and we both carried him to that person's car, and we rode to the Heaven May hospital. Oh, the memories there were so much to bear. A few medics ran out with a white emergency stretcher. They loaded him onto it, then nodded for the unknown person and I to follow, so we did. 95

A few hours later, a medic came out of the room that he and Daike had been in for hours, and said," His condition is stable. He will be fine to leave here in a week or two." Without either me. or my new friend noticing, we let out our breaths, and hugged each other in relief. I learned that this person's name was Mark. he seemed nice enough, but as I had found out, people can have false first impressions. We went in to see Daike, but he was asleep. I had never watched him sleep before, but now I realized that he was very peaceful, and uncaring, so much unlike his real attitude. I got a ride home in Mark's car. He said that he was 18, but he looked 19 or 20. I invited him in, when I realized that I had missed my meeting time with Hadan. As I went in, I saw that everyone was fast asleep, and I invited mark to stay the night, seeing as though it was already 2:00 am. He was inclined to, as I saw immediately, and he slept in the living room where Troy and Brian were supposed to be, but were not. Instead, they were in Drako, Hadan, and Daike's room. 96

I was sure to set my alarm clock at 6:00 am so I would get up before anyone else, so as to not start a fight between Mark and the guys. I got up just as I heard Troy yelling something fierce. He was yelling at Mark, and I knew it. I walked into the room, and said," It's ok, he is with me. He helped me save Daike's life." Hadan was in the room standing behind Troy. Brian was in the kitchen, and Drako was still asleep. Troy looked puzzled. He understood what I had said, but it looked as if he questioned the reason why I had defended him.97

" I am sure that you didn't just take this asshole's side. Do you even know why I am yelling at him?" Troy exclaimed.98

" If I am right, you are yelling at him because he was sleeping in here and you didn't know why. If I am wrong, please tell me exactly why you were yelling at him." I answered. Troy paused, and then he pulled out a picture, one with a recent date. I looked carefully at it, I saw Daike in it, many other people surrounded him. Was he fighting? Yes, it appeared so. I also saw Mark in the photo, he looked like he was also fighting. I pulled the photo closer to me, so I could look at it with more detail. I knew what I had seen immediately; mark was the one who had mortally wounded Daike. But why did he help me help Daike, and why did Troy have a photo of it? I turned the paper over, and saw the exact date, last night. The photo looked like it was Polaroid, but I couldn't be sure.99

" Did you find this with Mark?" I asked, calmly. I was calm, for I knew that Mark wouldn't go unpunished.100

" Yes, in his bag, along with a gun, a jackknife, some pot and ecstasy, and other various things. Hannah, this person is not to be trusted. Neither is anyone else that is not in this house other than Daike, but even he is starting to act secretive." Hadan remarked. Then Troy added," Hadan is right, I don't want you out and about, without one of us with you." 101

I was still very calm, and for some reason, I was at a reasonable peace. For what, I don't know, but I was content, content with the one that I had grown to love in the hospital, content with a possible murderer in front of me, and content with the whole underground's attention on me. Was I insane? Or, was I just dreaming? Maybe, this was all a dream, and at any moment, I could wake up, be at my home, and my parents still alive, and even perhaps, never have known Daike or any of these people. But, I now realize, that it was real, and all to real for one 15 year- old to handle. 102

It is now that I must narrate my present thoughts: I was only 15, my life was endlessly in a downward spiral. This was Hell. Hell is torment, beyond words, is it not? And for me, this was torment, but it was torment, a torment, that words could not only not describe, but it seemed that anything I tried to say, wouldn't come. It was as if, my breath wouldn't let go of my lungs, and I was bound to be a desperate mute in depression for all of eternity. I will never forget this feeling, and I WAS helpless, or so I thought. And now to end my present thoughts, and continue to my story.103

I was calm, and yet my mind raced. I knew that Mark would be taken care of, but I also felt incapable, incapable for not being able to see that Mark was not to be trusted. I felt unworthy as well. I felt unworthy because I had put my friends, no, not friends', family's lives in danger. I began to tear. I had a steady stream of tears by the end of that thought. I stood there, not moving, with no expression on my face, no evidence that I was a living being, other than that I had tears on my cheeks. Hadan stepped towards me, I still stood motionless. I saw a flash, then another, and before I knew it, Mark lie on the ground. A blood puddle was forming around him, especially by his head. I didn't scream, I just wept as I had before. I wept quietly too.104

I realized what was going on, we WERE in a gang "war" and my efforts to prevent one had endangered my family's lives. I was ashamed. I fell to the floor, into Marks blood, and the blood jumped away from the falling tears. Like oil and water, I thought. A strong stench overtook me, Mark was dead, but I didn't and will never wish him a better fate. He took it upon himself, and he did so without any consent. But he did so, knowing exactly what he planned to do. He was in a common spot in Hell, he was with the traitors, liars, deceivers, and murderers, yes, it was quite a common spot. But it seems that I am in a bigger Hell-hole than even he was. But, no matter, he was gone, and I had to go check on Daike anyway.105

I walked out of the door, not knowing what would happen next. I had told nobody that I was going, but if I told them, they would have not let me. The thought dawned on me, that, they were not my bosses, so I didn't have to do what they said. I liked this idea, but it seemed so simple, maybe one that a child would've thought up, but no, it took me an entire 16 years to form the idea. I was halfway down-town, when I saw a kid walking through an alleyway. It was a very small child too. I thought only about 4 at the most. He wore a torn pair of jeans, and a tattered shirt that was also torn, but much worse. When I approached him, I saw that he was crying. All of the adults just walked past him, and still he wailed. I watched him for maybe a half- hour, to see if his parents came from somewhere, but he just sat down, cried, and still no one came, or paid him any attention at all.106

I walked up to him and kneeled down. His gaze met mine, He was so adorable, and so helpless. How could anyone leave him alone or ignore him like so many just did? He managed to say," Who are you?" His voice wasn't very mature as so many that I had heard, but he was just adorable.107

" Where's your mommy?" I asked the poor child. He looked down and started crying again. " It's okay. I wont let anything happen to you," I went on, not even knowing how hard the promise that I was making could be.108

" My ma weft. She said to stay hew, but that was a long time ago." He said, still looking at his bare feet.109

" When did she say that, a few hours ago, or maybe a few minutes?" I asked again, anxious to help him. 110

" Two days ago." He answered," My name is Matt, and I am four and a half years old." he announced. 111

" Okay," I said," Do you know where you live?"112

" No, but I know that my daddy left a long time ago, and my mommy was going to his house, she left me outside, and she said to wait. Then she never came out. I had two dollars in my pocket, and I was hungry, so I left about three hours after that, and went to a candy store, and bought dome chocolate. Want some? He said not so sad anymore. I thought about this for a while, and I decided to take him with me to the hospital, maybe his mommy would be there.113

" Do you want to come with me, I will try to help you find your mommy after I do something really fast. Do you want to come?" I repeated. He nodded Yes, so I held out my hand, and he took it. We walked together for about four blocks, and entered the Heaven May Hospital. The nurses gazed at us. Two ragged looking children in their eyes, but we were more mature than any one of them, we had weathered homelessness, and we had fed ourselves, and we had kept ourselves alive. And we were not even half the age of the youngest nurse there.114

" May we see Daike Romendy please?" I asked, then I looked at Matt, his face was pale, so I continued," And may I please have a check up done on poor Matt here?" The nurse looked skeptical, but answered," Daike is down the hall and to your left, in room 503. And after you're done with him, go to the western wing, and ask doctor Riley to check up an Matt." I was so happy, for once in my life, I was getting along well. Matt and I went down the hall, and entered room 503. There I saw what made me almost gasp with joy; Daike was awake, and by the look on his face, quite happy to see me too. Then, anger flushed his face," Who is that? And why is he with you?" Daike asked angrily. 115

" This is Matt, I will not say that he is orphaned, but I found him alone on a sidewalk on the way here, and according to him, his mommy left him two days ago. So, I thought it would be nice to help him find his mommy." Daike seemed relieved.116

" I thought that you had a kid." He said," But, I was wrong, and how could you have a kid in two days that looks four years old?" He asked himself, Then said," Hi Matt, I'm Daike, Hannah's friend. Matt smiled. Daike, Matt, and I talked for a few minutes, then I interrupted one of Matt's stories that he was telling Daike," Matt has a check up to go to, so I can see if he is really okay, and then I have to take him to the sheriff, maybe there, an add for a missing child will turn up. Sorry Daike, but we have to go. Bye, Matt, say bye." And everybody said their good-byes, then Matt and I walked to the west wing, and we talked to doctor Riley. Matt's check- up took about an hour, when the doctor said," He is relatively healthy, but he just needs a few more meals a day, he is very skinny." I nodded, and took Matt by the hand, and we started toward the sheriff’s station.117

" Where aw we going'?" Matt asked curiously. I looked at him with a smile on my face. When Matt saw this, he grinned.118

" We are going to the policeman's house to see if he has seen your mommy, and if he has, he might help us find her," I answered. His grin widened. He looked so innocent. When we arrived at the sheriff’s station, a man was walking out. He looked somewhat familiar......It was the guard from the camp! Before I could do anything, he turned around and saw me. I hoped to God, if there was one, that he wouldn't recognize me, but my hope was false.119

" Girl," He said," You are Hannah Montgomery, is that right?" I felt a shiver go down my spine. I didn't answer, but I only walked toward the door of the office, but he stepped into my way. I remembered at that time, that Matt still held my hand, so I glanced down at him, His eyes were filled with fear, and discourage.120

" Excuse me, sir, but I have to go tend to their young one. He needs help," I hesitated, then said," from me." The guard studied me, then Matt, then said," I know you girl, you ran away from that Christian orphanage camp, with those others, Hadan, Drako, Daike, and Brian. You know none of those guys are a good influence. Is that your son?" He asked more intent on finding a weakness in me. I looked at Matt again, his tears were less now, but I could see that he was still very scared.121

" Sir, yes I am Hannah Montgomery. But, is it not a crime to run away from a camp overrun with death, drugs, alcohol, and gangs? And furthermore, this child is my son, and I love him very much. And if you expect me to go back to that Hell- hole, you have got to be the biggest dumbass that I have ever seen." I remarked, and somewhat lied. But it was for a good reason, if I didn't lie about Matt, the guard would've thought that I had kidnapped him, or killed his mother. The guard stepped back, as if I had just punched him.122

" Okay, Miss Hannah Montgomery, I won't ask for you to come back, but I am curious, how do you expect to take care of that child, if Daike is in the hospital, and various gangs are prowling about, looking specifically for you, and the rest of your gang trying to pry into your life, and control you?" He tried to make a point. But all I said as I was walking into the sheriff’s station, was," I'll manage it. Come here Matt." And the guard was no longer in my way.123

We walked towards the desk, at which a deputy sat, doing paperwork." Excuse me, sir?" I asked.124

" Yes?" he answered, still looking at his papers.125

" I need to report a missing person, and I have also found this poor kid on the sidewalk, he said that his mom left him two days ago, and he hasn't seen he since." 126

" Is that so? Well, let me find that papers... Okay, the missing person's name; first and last."127

" What was your mommy's name?" I asked Matt.128

" Lisa Marie Denial." Matt answered.129

" Lisa Marie Denial, hmmm, let me write that down, hold on a second...done. Description?" The deputy asked Matt.130

" Brown eyes, brown hair, bi-focal glasses, a scar on her right cheek, and a tattoo of some flames on he back. I don't know how much she weighs, or her height, but she is short and skinny." Matt answered. The guard looked at him, surprised at how well this four year old just described his missing mother.131

" Okay, I will write that down, and I just want to tell you that you gave a great description, and if your mommy's out there, we'll find her. Matt grinned again.," And Miss, are you going to be able to take care of Matt until we find his mommy? Are you capable?" He continued. I looked at Matt, he was looking straight into my eyes, when he said," Please, I don't want to stay with anymore strangers. If you let me stay with you, I will be good, and I will do chores, just as many as you want."132

It took me a few moments to consider Matt, and how the guys would react to him, and if it was good for Matt to be mixed up in all of the madness at my house. I knew it not "good" for him, but he was right, I didn't trust anyone else with such a sweet and innocent child," Okay, I will take him, but only temporarily." I answered. Matt's grin widened again, and with him being so short, his hug only reached my legs. We started walking down the street to the apartment. I thought more thoroughly about how the guys would take Matt's living with us, I would guess that it wouldn't be good. But my 16th B-day had just passed, so I could get a job, and support both of us, until Matt's mom showed up, anyway.133

When we reached the complex, I tried to open the door, but it was locked, so I took out my key and started to turn it, but then I hesitated. What would the guys think of Matt, and if they disapproved, I already knew that I wasn't going to leave him in anybody's hands other than mine, and his mother's. So, if they disapproved, they could just kiss my ass. I looked down at Matt, he looked hopeful, of what he might find through the doors, he stood patiently.134

" Matt, this is the place, but before we go in, I must tell you that I have a few roommates, they might not want you here, but you will stay, and nothing will happen to you, no matter what. So, if any of the guys give you trouble, say that you are with Hannah, and that if they just try to touch you, that she will make them wish that they were never born," I said to Matt, and he smiled.135

" I opened the door, and I saw Hadan sitting on the couch, watching TV with Brian. And Troy was at work with Drako. Hadan's eyes lit up as I walked in, they had not yet seen Matt. Brian looked over, then tried to say something when Matt walked in behind me. Hadan looked confused, and Brian showed only frustration. I could see that neither of them wanted to yell at me, but they had no idea what I was doing with a 4 year old in the house.136

" Who's that?" Brian finally said.137

" His name is Matt, he is staying with us for a while. And before you object, he would be dead if I had not found him, he needs me, and you too if you will help. And, if you do object, I am still not sending him back, he has no place to go." I answered, with an "end-of-conversation" tone. Hadan looked to be trying to get up, I pulled Matt's sleeve, and he stepped behind me. Brian only nodded in approval, but approval of what? Then I continued," There will be no drugs or alcohol consumed in the apartment while he is here. ( Hadan put down his beer at that) And, try not to let anyone know that he is here, anyone that doesn't need to know anyway." Both of them nodded. I motioned for Matt to follow me into the other room, he understood, and obeyed. I pulled some sheets and a few pillows out from the closet in my room. Matt sat on the bed, and I arranged his bed on the floor next to my bed. Once this was done, I got out my safe, counted the money inside, and added that to what was in my pocket. My total was $100.38; not enough. Not enough to support the both of us for very long, but enough for what was urgent. What was urgent was new clothes for him, and some food to last us for two days, and maybe an amusement or two.138

" Matt, we are going to the mall, we need to get you some more clothes, and some dinner too. Is that okay?" I asked. Matt nodded “Yes”. Hadan had apparently overheard, and said bye as we walked into the main room on the way out, I said goodbye, and so did Matt. As we walked to the mall, I heard Matt humming a tune, I didn't try to ask him, I only tried to see if I knew it without Matt even knowing that I heard him. I didn't recognize it, but I decided that I would wait to hear him sing it before I asked him what it was. I looked down at him, he was looking at me too.139

" Its called Sweet Longing Insanity," he said, as he put his head down to show that he was embarrassed. I nodded. He looked up again. As we walked, so many people looked at us. Once again, people thought of us as children, and arrogant ones at that. I know that they thought that, because I heard them say it as we passed. I took Matt’s hand, afraid that someone might take him away from me because of our condition. A few people even said directly to me,” Get you and your stupid kid’s asses off of the street until you two can look decent.” Actually, many people said that, or something like it at least. 140

“ Almost there,” I announced to Matt. He glanced up at me, then smiled. I smiled back. I heard a loud voice coming from behind me, I turned, and so did Matt.  I saw a few tall people, they looked like they were in a hurry, and perhaps a little angry. I heard my name. I felt Matt squeeze my hand, he was scared, and so was I. What I saw next was more startling than I had prepared for. It was Christian accompanied by Alex and some other people. There were six of them in all. I couldn’t think of who else was with Alex and Christian. I recognized a few of the six faces, but I couldn’t remember the names.141

Out of instinct, I picked up Matt, and ran. I ran as fast as I could, and towards where, I don’t know. All I wanted was out of there. But with Matt weighing me down, my pursuers would soon catch me. I ran toward the mall, my original destination, knowing that if it was crowded, which it usually was, they would have trouble finding me and Matt in the crowds. I was right. I got there and ran towards the bathrooms, rooms with locks. I knew that they were still on my tail, but I was only a few feet from the bathrooms. I heard my name again, this time in more angry shouts, the shouts were lined with curses, and hate. 142

Finally, I was in the hall leading to the rooms in which I so desperately needed. As I was turning around to open the door, I saw Christian, only a foot or so from me. I screamed in Matt’s ear, whom I was still carrying. Christian started to laugh Maniacally, while Alex and the others caught up. He was holding the door closed, and looking at me, to the parcel that I held to closely to me; Matt. Some ladies were banging on the door from inside of the bathroom, while Christian held it shut so easily. I was trapped, and what’s worse, I now held Matt’s life in my hands as well. I looked beyond the group of Christian’s gathering minions, so far beyond that I saw true, never-ending happiness. 143

“ Oh, so very far away, I heard myself whisper into Matt’s ear, and he nodded. 144

“ Hannah,” Alex said,” you are coming with us, the kid too.”145

“ But why?” I asked. 146

“ Because we said so,” Christian snapped.147

“ But my life is mine,” I said without knowing it. Christian reached to take Matt out of my arms. I backed away. Matt seemed to sense how he played a role in this confrontation. Matt held tighter. Christian made another move to take Matt from me, and I screamed ,” Help me! Please!.” I saw guards, and concerned people look, and start running over to where I was. Alex struck me, and I felt like fainting. But I didn’t, I only held onto Matt tighter. 148

“ Stop it!” yelled an angry mother, she was carrying her own child, and had a very worried look on her face. Then, a giant stream of “ Stop its” came from the onlookers. But, Christian and Alex just kept making more advances to get Matt from me, or to hit me. I screamed the next time that Alex hit me, it was out of pain, and it was not intentional. More and More people started to gather at the bathrooms to see what the commotion was about. I felt a great rush of pain in my gut, then my head. I blacked out, I remember holding Matt so close to me, that I didn’t think that he could breath well when I did, but when I awoke, he wasn’t with me, nor was I in the mall anymore. I recognized it as the Heaven May Hospital. 149

“ The Hell I live in,” I said, and then I noticed an intense pain in the various places that Alex and Christian had stricken me. I doctor rushed into the room when he heard my remark about the Hell that I live in.150

“ Where is Matt?!” I yelled. The doctor nodded, and he was back in 10 seconds or less with a little boy running behind him. It was Matt. 151

And behind Matt, came in Daike. Both of them were grinning. Then, Daike said,” Back in the Heaven May hospital. It is like your home, isn’t it?” I laughed out an agreement, then turned towards Matt. I sat up, then called him over to me. He happily did. I picked him up, so that he could sit on my bed, he had a black eye and a few bruises.152

“ Oh, my God. What happened to you Matt? Did they hurt you?” I asked, then he nodded.153

“ Yeah, they did hit me a few times, but I’m alright. Anyway, it’s you that everyone’s worried about.” He explained.154

“ Who is everyone?” 155

“ Daike, me, Hadan, Brian, Troy, Drako, and a lot of other people, people that I don’t know. Some of them didn’t even know your name.” He said, in a lower tone than usual.156

“ Why are you talking so quietly?” I once again asked.157

“ Because there are a lot of people outside that I don’t know, Daike told the nurses and doctors not to let anyone in, so there are riot police outside too.” He said, in an irritated voice. I nodded, then tried to get up, I stumbled. Daike ran over to help me balance. We walked over to the room window, I lost my breath. There were hundreds of people outside, some were angry, others were concerned, but most were gang members. 158

“ Probably coming to get you while you’re hurt,” Daike mumbled, in a voice so that only he and I would hear; not Matt.159

That was OK with me, because I had Daike and Matt, but I did really want my other family members back too; Hadan, Brian, Troy, and Drako. 160

“ You know why they’re all here?” Daike wondered aloud, so I answered,” No, I honestly have no idea.” He smiled.161

“ They’re here so that they can help you, support you, or be inspired by you.” He continued.162

“ But I am not an inspiration,” I said,” But I guess that’s the price that you pay for being beat in the mall, huh Daike?” Matt and he laughed. So did I, but I was anxious, but for what I didn’t know, I guess I just wanted to get outside. But I knew that it was dangerous.163

I stayed at the hospital for a few days; until the doctor said that it was okay for me to go, then, when I did leave, Daike and Hadan accompanied me and Matt. We were happy. On our way home, we did see that some of Christian’s friends were following us, then I turned around, so that they knew that I knew of their presence, then they backed off.164

“ Daike,” I said,” Matt and I have to go to the sheriff’s station too. We need to see if they had found his mother yet.” Daike nodded. 165

“ I hope they never find her!” Matt exclaimed,” I want to stay with you guys for until I am a billion-gazillion years old! I don’t want to go back to her, she is mean.” We all laughed, then started towards the station.166

“ Hello, Miss Hannah,” the sheriff said. I nodded ,introducing Daike, then  Hadan. I walked up to the counter.167

“ Are you here to check on the missing’s status? Well, even if you aren’t, she has not yet been found. So, I need you to sign guardianship papers.” He continued.168

“ What guardianship papers?” I asked. 169

“ The ones about Matt, you agreed to take him in while his mother is missing, did you not?”170

“ Yes.., but I,” He cut me off, “ She is still missing, is she not? Well, I’ll tell you, she is, and if you don’t take him in, one of your close friends must. It’s the rules.” I nodded, then looked at Daike.171

“ Where are the papers, Hannah and I will sign them, we live together.” Daike said. I smiled, and threw myself against him in joy. He caught himself before he fell and started laughing. All the while, Hadan was spellbound. He was way more practical than either me or Daike, so he was thinking about expenses, housing, and dangers. He would have been a good parent if he even liked children.172

“ Daike, do you even know what you’re doing? Children cost money to keep and take care of, this is insane!” Hadan scolded.173

“ I am very sure of what I am doing, I am saving this child’s life, and if you don’t mind, I have some papers to sign with Hannah.” Daike snapped. I found this situation humorous; so much so because it was all irrelevant, what the guys thought. This was my choice, and I already had my mind made up. Daike turned toward me, he was smiling, as if he knew what I was thinking, I laughed out loud. 174

We signed the papers, and we walked home, I was so happy. We passed a building, it had a help-wanted sign, so I told Daike to take Matt home, so I could apply. I walked inside; it was a bar. The room was decorated with bricks and alcohol-stained wooden tables. I turned toward the counter, it was a long, rectangle wall that had bottles and glasses stored on the bartender’s side. 175

“ Hey, you, are you just gonna stand there and be a nascence? Order something or leave.” I heard the bartender say. He was a young man, in his early twenties. He was handsome, for a bartender at least. But I was faithful, so I shoved the thought out of my head and walked towards the counter with full intent on getting the job. 176

“ Say, sir, I saw the help-wanted sign on the door, and I am in great need of a job, until I can afford college anyway.” I said, he looked skeptical. 177

“ Don’t you think that you’re a little young? You only look 16, at the most.” He questioned.178

“ I am 16, I don’t drink, and like I said, I need this job, I have a son to support.”179

“ A son? Wow, you seem responsible”180

“ He is adopted, and I am very responsible, and I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, sir.” I snapped. He nodded and laughed. Then he said,” Okay, you can have the job, but it is technically illegal, so you need to stay on the down-low, okay?” I nodded cheerfully. 181

“ You start Monday at 4pm. Be here and be ready to work your little ass off.” I nodded again and walked out of the door.182

“ I got a job!” I shouted to Daike when I got home. He was in the kitchen with the rest of the guys. 183

“ I got a job!” I repeated. Daike came rushing into the front room, he was expressionless, so was Hadan, who came in right behind Daike. Hadan looked as if he knew he had done something terribly wrong, and he was going to be direly punished for it. I couldn’t see what Daike was thinking, but he had gotten better at hiding his expressions, while the others had gotten worse. I didn’t see Matt right away, which surprised me, in fact, it sort of alarmed me. I was suspicious of what had happened, but I knew that it had something to do with poor Matt. Drako came in too, tears were in his eyes, I walked to him, and hugged him, then whispered into his ear,” What happened? And whatever it was, it’ll be okay, I promise.”184

“ It will not be okay, and it never will, they got him, they got Matt,” Drako sobbed.185

“ Who got him?” I asked, more alarmed than ever, but still understanding and patient for him.186

“ Maldrid and Greg, those bastards found us again, and I can’t let them get you too.”187

“ Who even said that they wanted me anymore?” At that, Daike held a piece of paper out to me. It was a ransom note. They wanted to trade me for Matt. 188

“ I won’t allow it. You aren’t going to be theirs in Matt’s stead.” Daike growled at me. He knew that he couldn’t stop me from saving Matt. It was just in his nature to keep feebly trying to get something that he would never. I turned to walk out the door. Daike stepped in my way and grabbed my arm, then squeezed. It felt like he was crushing it. I pulled away, he only held his grip tighter. I screamed, Hadan tried to pull Daike away, but he too, was unsuccessful. I hit Daike at a moderate level, so not to hurt him, but to tell him that I was upset. He held his grip. 189

There was a knock at the door, Daike didn’t move, but Drako walked to get it. He shut the door immediately after he saw who it was; the police. Daike saw the terror in Drako’s eyes and instantly knew that we all were in trouble. Daike loosened his grip, but didn’t let go. He pulled me into the back room where the fire escape was. I didn’t fight him anymore. I climbed down the ladder after Hadan. I was followed by Drako, then Daike. 190

We ran until Hadan said that we were a good distance away, there we looked at the street signs to see exactly where we were. I stood in an alley about two miles away from the apartment. Daike didn’t let go, so I tugged away, he still held my arm, then I hit him harder. He sighed, then looked at me, his muscles relaxed so I could easily get away. I quickly went towards Hadan and Drako, who were standing next to each other about 10 feet form Daike.191

“ You know that you can’t do that anymore,” said Hadan,” She is more independent now, she knows that she can leave you at any time.”192

“ Of course, I forgot. Hannah, come here… please.” Daike replied, I only held onto Hadan’s  shoulder more intently,” Hannah. Come here now. I said please the first time. Drako stepped forward, so that he was that I was in middle of Hadan and him. Daike apparently got the message, or something like it at least, so it felt safe for me to return to his side, so I did. He grinned  victoriously to Hadan and Drako as I left their side. I felt compelled to go back, but Daike now held my hand, so I knew it unsafe to betray him again.193

We were walking the alleyway, Hadan and Drako led the way; Daike held me in back with him. I leaned against him to show that I was, if reluctantly, loyal. Hadan seemed to know where we were going, but I was unsure. We eventually reached a club, at which I saw Brian and Troy standing not far from the door. They greeted Hadan and Drako, but they saw Daike’s glare, and they stayed away from me. Of why, I 194

was more uncertain. 195

We kept on walking until we reached the city limit sign; the end of L.A. We could’ve walked to the end of the Earth and back if I hadn’t known better. I soon recognized the area that we were at. I saw Maldrid’s house. Greg’s car was in the driveway, so I knew that we most likely had a fight for us in the near future. Daike still held my hand, and he seemed gentle. But I knew that he was not always like this, so I cherished the moment. I looked up at him, and I noticed that he, too, was looking down at me. His eyes were full of tears, and I found that mine were as well, but why? Maybe it was the fact that we were both happy, and I knew that we were both in love. Would that be worth crying about? Or maybe it was because the last time that I was at this house, I intended to leave him forever, and stay with my captor, Greg. Maybe that was too much for him to bear. But for whatever reason we held each other, tears trailing down our faces. 196

“ I won’t leave. I love you, not them.” I whispered into Daike’s ear, to reassure him of my faithfulness. He nodded and stared me in the eyes. Our silence was broken by the shouts of familiar voices. 197

“ You! I don’t want you here, I want her!” Maldrid commanded. I heard gunshots. Maldrid’s voice faded with an agonizing sound. I heard Greg yell. He hissed something about Matt, then was silenced. I imagined what it looked like inside the house. Maldrid dead on the floor, a pool of his own blood forming around him. And Greg in the next room, himself cowering before Drako and his handgun. I imagined Matt, crying in the basement, or perhaps he was brave, and trying to find a way out.198

Hadan soon stepped out onto the porch, he waved for us to come in, Daike started to move forward, so I went with him. He still held me close to him. I saw the first thing that I had imagined; I started to feel great sorrow at the loss of Maldrid, but I didn’t let it show, it would be taken as betrayal on Daike’s part if he found out. We walked through the hall, I saw an unconscious Greg, but thankfully, he was still alive. We came to a wooden door that I knew to be the basement door. 199

As I walked down, I heard the sound of a being rustling in the corner. The room was full of junk, and old papers. 200

“ Matt!?” I called, I heard nothing,” Matt? Are you in here? It’s alright, I’m here. It’s Hannah.” 201

I saw a small, dark shadow leap up from behind an old desk. It came rushing at me, so I stepped back. But I stopped myself, because I knew at once that it was him. He was so brave, he wasn’t even crying. That was more than he could say for me. Daike walked in in a sudden rush. He looked at Matt, in a fierce way, or so I guessed. I couldn’t see him, but it was enough to make Matt back away, terrified. Daike put his arms around me, in a loving manner, but I felt restrained. I knew that was what he was doing, but I never felt it as strongly as then. Daike motioned to Matt to leave; to go to Hadan. I was alone with Daike. Now I was terrified. I tried to move towards the door, but Daike wouldn’t move. 202

“ Daike, please let go of me, I want to leave this place, it scares me.” I said, trying to convince him.203

“ Alright, but first, I need to talk to you about something. Sit.” He commanded while pointing at a discarded wooden box. I obeyed him.204

“ We need to leave this place.” he started.205

“ I just told you that.” I assured him.206

“ No, we need to leave this city, and now.”207

“ But I don’t want to. The city is my home, and besides, you would be bored in the anywhere else.”208

“ I am leaving, and you are coming. Matt is staying.” Daike protested. I tried to speak again, but Daike had no tolerance for such at the  moment, I could see that. He held out his hand for me to take, I declined, and in turn, he made a violent advance towards me, but Hadan walked in at that time. 209

“Hadan, can you excuse us for a moment, please? We have some pressing matters that we need to take care of.” I said as sense came to me. “Daike, I am sorry, but I want to stay in the city, and I want you to be with me.” I continued. I said that, because I realized that I did love him, but he needed to know that I had a choice in the Matter. I held out my hand, so he could help me up, he did. He put his arm around me again, I still felt a sense of restraint. 210

“Okay, we are staying then, but I need to know that you won’t leave me.” He said to me as we walked up the stairs. 211

“I won’t, you know that. As long as you respect me, and my wants. We are together, and hopefully, we always will be.” I assured him, then we passed the room that Greg lie in, he was conscious, and when I looked at him, I stopped walking. Daike nudged me onward, but Greg’s stare was one that I couldn’t read. Was it hate, or guild, or even jealousy?  It was awkward, and it was also annoying Daike.212

“ Hannah,” He ordered,” Let’s go.” I didn’t respond, I was overwhelmed by Greg’s stare. He was getting up, and now Daike was alarmed. 213

“ Hadan! Drako!” Daike yelled. They came running through the front door as Greg was trying to gain his balance. Greg lifted a gun, sense came to me at once, I ran. Daike’s hand was in mine, and Hadan and Drako were behind us. I heard shots, but no yells, so I just ran. We were at the car when I sat in back next to Matt. I held his head down as with mine, because shots were still being fired. We were on the road within seconds of that.214

Matt was sitting under a tree off the side of the road a half-block away from Greg’s house. He ran towards me when he saw us rush out. I let go of Daike’s hand and picked up Matt, he was brave.  Hadan took Matt from me and held him on the way home. Daike took my arm again, it was getting annoying, so I pulled away. He let me go, but reluctantly. I walked ahead and talked with Drako, Hadan, and Matt. I noticed then that Brian and Troy weren’t with them. I guess they had stayed behind, on the road to watch out. 215

“That was fun, wasn’t it, Hannah?” Drako said, Hadan laughed. I was thinking about Greg when I saw two kids walking down the opposite side of the road, they looked hopeful, until they saw all of us, covered in blood. There was a little girl, and teenage guy, they stopped in their tracks when their gaze met mine. Hadan and Drako stopped too, Daike yelled at them. I ran across the street mindlessly, the girl fell to the ground and cried, the guy stood his ground, He looked about my age, 16. He pulled out a knife, and I slowed my advance. 216

“Where’s Greg?” he demanded. I looked him in the eyes, as he did to me. I felt sorry for him.217

“ What relation are you to him? You two look alike.” I asked.218

“ He is our older brother, I want to see him right now,” He said, he was persistent. 219

“ How old are you two?” I questioned. 220

“ She is 12, I am 17. And the same question to yourself,” he continued.221

“16,” I answered. I looked for Daike, but I was alarmed when I saw him and the other guys running towards me.222

“ Who the hell is he?” The guy asked.223

“ Daike, he is with me, stand your ground, he is dangerous,” I warned. The guy took me and his sister by the arm, and started running towards Greg’s house. I ran with him,” Greg is hurt, but he is still alive, his roommate is dead, we had to kill him, my son’s life depended on it, I’m sorry.”  The guy looked at me,” It’s okay, I believe you,” He forgave. 224

Daike ran behind us, and he was followed by the others. I looked back, he knew that I had to go with these people when they found the scene, he wasn’t mad. We reached Greg’s house in a minute, he was outside smoking. Daike had fell back a while back so as not to upset Greg right away. Without thinking, Greg rushed towards me, without even seeing who I was with. The little girl stepped in front of me, and he stopped suddenly. 225

“ Melody….. Jordan…. How’d you guys find me?! I am so sorry, I love you both. He picked up the girl he called Melody and Jordan still held my arm, he was afraid. Greg wasn’t aware that he was covered in blood, his own, and others’.  Greg put Melody down and hugged Jordan, he was very happy. Then he looked at me, and took my arm from Jordan’s and led us to the back yard. It was clear to me that he didn’t want his siblings to know what was going on, I couldn’t blame him.226

Jordan glared at Greg. I wondered what had happened to them, and why Greg was sorry. Greg looked at Jordan,” What’s wrong, kid?”227

“Let her go… the girl. Melody, come here too. I don’t trust you, Greg,” Jordan ordered. Greg held my arm tightly, and Melody followed Jordan’s will. 228

“ Why do you care about this one?” Greg asked, he was nervous and it showed.229

“ Because you are covered in blood, so is she, and her friends, and there is a dead man in the house,” answered Jordan. I tried to step away from Greg, he let me go. I pitied Greg, he was so undone. Jordan looked at me and he knew what I was thinking. 230

“ Hey, what’s your name, can you please watch Melody for me for a while, I’m gonna help Greg clean his place up. Melody, can you listen to her, I’m sure she’s nice.” Jordan asked me.231

“Sure, I’d be happy to, and my name’s Hannah.” I answered. Jordan nodded then looked at Greg. He started walking towards the house, Jordan followed. Melody said that she was bored, so she pulled a deck of cards out from her backpack, and she suggested we played Speed. She was very good at cards, must have a lot of experience, I thought. We were playing for an hour or so, when Daike, Hadan, Matt, and Drako walked into the back yard. I welcomed them, and Matt sat down to join in playing cards. 232

“ Hey Daike, this is Melody, she is Jordan’s younger sister. 10 bucks says she beats you at Poker,” I laughed. Daike nodded. 233

“ Hey Melody, I’m Daike, pleasure to meet you.” he said.234

“ Ditto,” said Melody. Jordan walked out of the house with Greg trailing behind him. Both of them were cleaner, I guess Jordan had washed up too. When Greg saw Daike there, he stopped walking, and he stared. I looked at Daike, he looked at me, then he called out,” Truce!” to Greg. Greg nodded in agreement, then started walking towards the group again. 235

“ Jordan, this is Daike. Daike, this is Jordan.” I introduced. Both of them stared at each other. I could tell that Daike and Jordan didn’t like each other. 236

“ The house is clean,” Jordan announced. I nodded. Greg asked if any of us were hungry, Melody, Jordan, and Matt were, so he went inside to make lunch. We all sat under a tree in the back yard. We talked about where we were bound to, and the same with Melody and Jordan. Matt and Melody played cards for the rest of the day.  Later that night, Jordan decided he and his sister would stay the night at Greg’s house. He invited me to stay with him, but I wasn’t easily convinced.237

“ Hannah, it’ll be okay, he won’t dare try anything with Melody and everyone else in the house, you know that. Daike wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to leave Jordan and Melody alone with Greg, but I didn’t want to risk Matt, either. I decided to stay the night, Jordan was right, Greg wasn’t THAT daring, so I guess he wouldn’t risk disappointing his siblings. 238

As it turned out, Melody and Matt were the only ones that slept, the guys were in the room drinking, and I watched them babbling incoherently, I found it quite amusing. About an hour before Matt and Melody woke up, Jordan, I decided, was sober. We walked out to go make breakfast for the kids, ham and eggs, when Daike walked in. He was in good spirits today, so I welcomed him in. Jordan was an interesting person, funny, and very easily angered. But some of the smaller things set him off, while he laughed at the bigger things.239

I wondered why he was so, but, wasn’t Daike the same way? No, everything set him off. Melody walked into the room in the middle of this thought. She said she was really hungry, so Jordan set food in front of her. She ate like hell; like that was the last meal she would have for a month. Jordan looked at her, then she slowed. Matt came into the room a few minutes later, he ate only a little. We talked, the four of us, until Drako woke up. He was carrying a book, he saw me notice it, then said,” Stephen King.” I nodded. The title was The Stand. I had heard of it before, I had even attempted reading it, but then my parents died, which sorta ruined it for me.240

“I’ve read that one, it’s good, is it not?” Jordan said. Drako nodded. I noticed that I hadn’t read in a long time, I always used to read, and I was good at it. I remembered that one of my favorite books was White Fang by Jack London. I always loved that book, as White Fang withstood many an obstacle and he still had the will to live. I also liked Tolkein’s work, especially The Lord Of The Rings. Frodo,  was a character to be loved. 241

We were in the kitchen until everyone woke up, although Hadan had to be woken, we were all up by a decent hour. Daike called me outside to talk.242

“ We have to leave, you know that don’t you, Hannah?” He said.243

“ I know, but I don’t want to. I know that we must, and I think that we should leave Matt in the care of Jordan, don’t you?” I said, getting ready to cry, he nodded. 244

“Jordan seems ok, I mean, he has Melody too, we’ll have to tell him, and only him, to make sure it’s okay. We can’t tell anyone else, I don’t want them coming to me for help in ten years,” he answered. I nodded in approval. 245

“Can we tell him tonight, and leave tomorrow?” I asked. Daike nodded. He kissed me, and I hugged him. We walked back inside. Greg and Hadan were sitting at the table, Melody and Matt were watching TV in the living room with Jordan and Drako supervising them, Drako was reading his book. Daike sat on the couch, I sat next to him and leaned against him. He held me closely. I looked at Matt, he was so innocent. I felt bad for him, but I could tell he would be better off with a sibling and not being included in the drama that was my life. He looked happier than I had even seen him, but I couldn’t help being selfish and wanting to keep him. 246

Matt noticed me looking at him, and being so dependant to Daike, I could tell, but I didn’t care now, it wasn’t my problem of what he thought of me. It occurred to me that I DID care, I was just trying to ignore it. I cried silently. Matt noticed this too. He got up and hugged me, he was so sweet. I hugged him back, I was a wreck. The feeling soon subsided, and tears stopped flowing, Matt sat back down with Melody in front of the TV. I saw Jordan staring at me, he looked puzzled. I looked to Daike, he nodded, and asked Jordan to join us outside to talk, he nodded. 247

As we walked through the door, Matt started to get up, to follow us, I made a hand gesture for him to stay, and he stood, he was worried, and confused. I managed to smile at him, he smiled too, then continued to watch TV. 248

“ Jordan,” Daike said,” You are the care-taker of Melody, is that correct?” Jordan nodded yes.249

“ We have to ask you a favor then, it is huge, but necessary. “ I said. 250

“ What ever you want, Hannah. You look terrible, what’s wrong?” Jordan answered. 251

“ I am fine, but you see, Daike and I have reached a decision… we are leaving this place, alone. I trust nobody with Matt, but you obviously know how to take care of a child, so I must ask you to foster Matt. He is better off with anybody other than me. I know this is a huge….” I tried to say, but I was cut-off by  Jordan. 252

“ I know I can, but why are you leaving?” Jordan asked.253

“ You saw the body, we did that, and people are after Hannah, hundreds. I don’t know why, but Greg and Maldrid, they were two of those people, they kidnapped Matt, to get Hannah over here. We have to leave, Hannah and I. It’s a long story. But overall, we need to get away from this life,” Daike explained. Jordan nodded.254

“ I want to take Matt for you, but I know he is better off with you Hannah, but I don’t think he is with Daike, I can tell this was his Idea, I don’t much like him. Hannah, you should stay with Me and Melody,” Jordan said to me as he tried to pull me away from Daike, I don’t suppose Daike heard him, but at this point, I was convinced that Matt didn’t belong with this man. But, I thought, he is right in a way, Daike was always the one who got me into the illegal things. He thought up this idea too, but it was for me, he loved me. 255

“ Hannah, Jordan, what the hell are you guys talking about that I can’t hear?” Daike asked angrily. 256

“ I was getting a point across, that’s all,” Jordan said as he was looking a257

t my thought-riddled face. Daike looked at me, he had know me for too long, he could tell when I was troubled. 258

“ Think about it, Hannah,” Jordan said and he walked back towards the house. Daike turned to follow him, I grabbed his arm, in an effort to change his mind. He turned, and I saw that he was worried, he cared about me. I walked to him and hugged him tightly and cried. He stood a few inches above me, but he wasn’t too tall. Jordan was about to enter the door, when he looked back, he saw how dependant I was to Daike, but Daike turned to look at him too, Jordan turned around and walked inside. 259

I did think about what Jordan had told me, despite all of my values and my love for Daike. I loved them both. But how could I just let Daike go? They were always in my life, since my parents died. We were a family. And however screwed up we were, I loved it. I thought about Matt just then. He mattered. Daike didn’t love Matt, he loved me, and he just wanted to see me happy. That mattered too. I thought about this all standing in the back doorway of the house. And to my regret, I started to cry again. I didn’t know what to do. I was lost. Nobody noticed my tears now. Everyone was in the kitchen eating lunch. It was around 1:00. I sat on the couch. I needed comfort, I needed Daike.260

And just when I needed Daike the most, he wasn’t there. It was Jordan that walked in before anyone else. I was silent, for I had learned how to disguise my sobs over my life. He didn’t seem to notice, but then he saw my tears. He took me by the arm and pulled me up toward the back door. I didn’t pull back or even put up a fight. I was devastated. He just took me outside, and we stepped to the side of the steps leading up to the door. He pressed me up against the wall gently and kissed me. He kissed me deep and lovingly. Today people would call it making-out. I felt so guilty for just going with it. I barely knew this guy, but here I was letting him do something to me that only Daike had ever done before.261

It didn’t go any farther than that, this time, when Daike walked out, wondering where I had gotten off to. I was just right up there against the wall when he yelled my name, he was pissed, and if I heard him correctly, sad. Well, I guess I could dignify both of those feelings. Daike then grabbed my arm, pulled me away, behind him, then he punched Jordan in the face. I screamed, and as Jordan was on the ground, unconscious, Daike just let go of it. I guess he wasn’t mad at me, but I don’t think I’ll ever know why he kissed me then. I had just made out with another guy, but here I was making out with him like not even 5 seconds after the first.262

I was so confused. Jordan regained consciousness after a minute or two. I opened my eyes and saw his face was okay, just had a few scratches. He got up, and pushed Daike out of my arms. He stepped in-between us, and stood there, glaring Daike in the eye. I stepped back and fell to the floor and sobbed. I was ignored while Jordan and Daike were having their stare-off. It was like we were in kindergarten. All the while they just stood there like 3-year-olds, and I was in the middle of a break-down, Matt and Melody walked out and hugged me. Matt didn’t understand, he was too young, but Melody did perfectly. Hadan and Greg followed. Greg took Jordan inside, while Hadan talked to Daike about my betrayal. All I had were the little kids.263

I heard Daike trying to explain to Hadan about what had happened, but he, like me, broke down crying. Hadan stood there bewildered. I felt bad for everyone. Maybe if I wasn’t ever born, none of this would have ever happened. Daike had gotten up, just then, then he held out his hand to help me up, too. I took it, and hugged him. 264

He hugged me back, then whispered into my ear, “ I love you, It’s okay, and I forgive you. Matt is staying with us, you don’t have to worry about anything anymore. We will be happy, and we can live peacefully, together, and we won’t live a lie, everything that we care for can come with us. We will all be happy.”265

“Please, Daike. That is what I want. I want you, and Matt, and happiness. Nothing more. No drugs or anything that can teat us apart. I love you,” I said, but I didn’t make it through this statement without tearing more than I was previously. Daike held me tightly, and then he took my hand and we walked inside. Jordan was in the living room, the first room inside when you come in through the back door. He looked at me, then his attention went back to the TV.266

“ You don’t need to take Matt, and you can’t have Hannah, either. She is mine. We love each other. I’m sorry things didn’t work out like you wanted, but we are a family, and you cant teat it apart,” Daike said, he wasn’t very serious-sounding, like I would’ve thought. He was fine with it. I think he liked that I showed a little back-bone, kissing Jordan, I mean. I don’t know what he got out of it. But I could tell he loved me more, now, if that were at all possible.267

I was happier too. Believe it or not. When night came around, not at all too quickly, I fell asleep on the couch, watching a child’s show, with Matt. Spongebob, I think it was. I awoke in the middle of the night to a loud noise. It scared me. Matt was still on the couch opposite to the one I was on, and Daike was behind me, laying down with his arms around me. He had heard the sound, and was awake, too. 268

“Hannah?” he asked269

“Daike, did you hear that?” I said.270

“Yeah. Hannah, wake Matt up, and carry him. Follow me,” he ordered. I did what he said, and we walked into the room where Hadan and the others slept. Everyone was there; Drako, Hadan, Greg, Melody, and Jordan. I took to waking up Hadan and Drako first. Daike woke the others up. We all stayed in the room. It was an interior room, with only one door, so we thought it the safest. We did have a gun, left over from the fight. I guess Hadan had kept it in a safe place. It had , I guess, a lot of bullets, as it was very heavy. I held it briefly, so that the others could get into a good spot, to not be in the line of fire if anyone stood in the doorway. I didn’t care to hide. I liked to be seen. I wasn’t that afraid, more curious. We all heard the front door slide open. The intruders shuffled their feet. I could tell that it was more than one because there were two different stepping patterns, and I heard these because of the hard-wood flooring.271

“Daike! Hannah! Hadan! Drako! Mat!” a voice yelled. It was very familiar. I remembered then. It was Brian’s.272

“Brian!!!” I shouted. Everyone in the room looked at me in disbelief. I had just given away their positions. But Brian wouldn’t hurt me, and I knew that, so I ignored their disapproval. And like I suspected, Brian and Troy walked in. There were no shots fired, but great sighs of relief were heard. I ran towards Brian and hugged him, then Troy briefly. Daike, Hadan, and Drako said hi and told their stories for the rest of the day. Greg and his siblings just stayed to themselves with Troy and Brian around.273