Vampiric Feast

Her soft, delicate flesh so inviting to my finely sharpened teeth; just the thought of contact between the two made me shiver with delight. 1

Blood pulsing strong within her, I leaned over to start my vampiric feast.

Author notes

Hmm...might be a good start to something. I cheated a little with the semicolon.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    November 9

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    Well... I happen to like vampire material seeing as I write a lot of it These were a wonderful two sentences Dark and rich. As a suggestion, I would place 'was' after flesh so that the first part before the semi-colon doesn't come off as a fragment. Just my opinion, though, so you don't have to take it if you don't want to.

    Overall, a great entry and I thank you for entering the contest

    Pixie


  • Friesian
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Sweet! Really good for two sentences! hehe! Semicolons rock! Dark and beastly: what a vampire should be! ^^


  • Sonic Banana
    November 3
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    But.. but it's.. a vampire... story... >_>


    • Len Shadow
      November 3
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      ...And?


      • Sonic Banana
        November 3
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        and vampires fail. no offense if you are one.


        • Len Shadow
          November 3
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          That's a matter of opinion.

          God, Twilight has ruined the vampiric name!


          • XxAngelofNight22xX
            November 4
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            i agree! we writers have to bring vampires back somehow! . sorry, heh it just causes me to feel so dissappointed. people have been brain washed by twilight and its empty plot

1 - 7 of 7