Last Place for Love

"Patrol 45, this is Loki, currently two clicks away from the rendezvous. Over."1

"Copy that, Loki. Is your team in need of assistance? Over."2

"Gopher is our only injury, no losses. He has been hit in the leg, our medic is dragging him along. We should be alright. Over and out." 3

Loki spun on her heel, crouched down behind a turned jeep, to face the rest of her team pasted against a buildings wall, two meters away from her. She raised her left hand from her gun and quickly signaled them to follow. They trekked this way through a destroyed suburb in Israel for a while. Stopping randomly to Loki's hand signals, holding their positions while she scouted out the perimeter, then she would signal again and they would march a few more meters. The entire time, they kept their bodies crouched like a scared child and moved their feet in tiny, quick steps. The injured soldier was kept in the middle of this formation, with his arm slung around the team’s only medic. 4

"Listen up!" Loki hollered at their last stop. "We got one last market to make our way through, then we're home free." 5

She watched her team nod, all ten of them, and continued onwards. Finally, she saw the rows of army jeeps to their north in a deserted field, and began to silently pray that Scythe made it back before her team had. She stood up straight and raised her gun high above her head when they were in sight of the safe point, then she saw two more guns hit the air. Together, their half of Alpha 10 walked over to their respected vehicles; Gopher and the medic were quickly taken to one of the ambulances. 6

"Hey-a sweetheart, mission accomplished?"7

"Yea," she tossed Gamble a small, dirty, ring-sized box from her breast pocket and got into the back of the jeep he happened to be behind the wheel of.8

"God, you’re good."9

Two more men from her team, Runt and Cue-ball, entered the jeep as well and set up their guns from each window before Gamble headed on. Loki stared beyond the barrel of Runt's M-4 Carbine to the barren desert beyond while they left the city. Numerous other jeeps, ambulances and ammo trucks kicked up dust along side them. She naively searched their open windows for the familiar sight of long blonde hair. 10

"Gamble?" she finally called over the roar of the engines.11

"What's up, sugar-plum?" 12

The numerous names Gamble had decided to call her, used to bring Loki into rages but had now, somehow become a welcome dose of normality. 13

"Did Scythe's half of Alpha 10, make it back?"14

There was a pause from the front and she also noticed the heads of Runt and Cue-ball twitch in each others direction.15

"Yea, there were some injuries... I am not sure who, their whole team went ahead of us to the infirmary." 16

Loki nodded to herself and went back to looking over Runt's shoulder. Then, he turned around to face her. His dull brown eyes showed exhaustion and she was beginning to feel it herself; it was a week long mission they had just finished. 17

"I'm sure Scythe is fine... I'd like to think it'll take a bit more than a couple Haji's to take our Sergeant down."18

Before Loki could protest that her concern was for the whole team, rather than just Scythe, Runt quickly turned back to his post at the moving window. She thought about it though, and really saw no point in avoiding their suspicions any longer. Runt himself, was known to be quite friendly with Flower, a girl from Bravo 5 who received her name in training due to the supposed fact that her first week was spent by talking to the plants, and avoiding anything that actually bled or shit. 19

Still, their relationship was simple; self-gratifying sex to get them through the horrors of the battlefield during the next day. Something that 95% of the soldiers divulged in. Loki and Scythe, however, had never even kissed. They've seen each other naked, but that was nothing special, as half of Loki's compound had seen her naked. Things here were a lot different than in the American training camps. After the first few years, the war grew more violent, and with more casualties and spent ammo, the simple luxuries of having walls divide the people in the showers were suddenly something that could not be afforded. As it was right now, their current post didn’t even have running water. It was a huge, well supplied series of tents in the middle of the desert. Supplied with plenty of food, weapons and trained killers. But, for showers, they had to visit another location closer to civilization. Needless to say, things could get pretty bad in those tents when it got hot.20

That never stopped people from fucking, though. The soldiers here are not divided by gender like back at home, they are all shoved in one or two large tents lined with nothing but beds. No curtains or separate enclosures. After three years, people just grew used to the sounds of others releasing their tensions and fears into one another, during the darkness of 4am. For Loki and Scythe, it was a little different. Their beds were indeed beside each other, but only because of rank. He was the leader of their platoon, however should he die; Loki would be second in command. Gamble, would take over should Loki perish as well. And it was Gamble, who had a bed on the other side of Loki. She had grown quite used to his grunt and groans, just as much as he had grown custom to the whispers and giggles from her and Scythe.21

‘Anything that gets you out there, the next day.’ He would often stay to either of them. Not entirely understanding the satisfaction from just a conversation. Scythe would normally reply with something along the lines of; "Just worry about your own methods". While Loki preferred to ignore the comments all together. Anyone who slept within the same tent as them for a few nights though, would have easily realized that the relationship between the two highest ranked was nothing like the meaningless sex of the rest.22

Loki, was originally drafted into this war, and by the time she had met Scythe was nothing short of a killer. Her training took place in what is widely renowned as the most degrading, disgusting and exhausting base camp. As such, she quickly learnt how to make her emotions void. When she was placed with Scythe's platoon, two years after the start of the war, she was robotic and had the highest kill count. It was Scythe, who during the second month, finally broke her out of that shell. It started, with the simple question on how she got her name. Scythe, was one of the only soldiers Loki had ever met who knew that the name "Loki" was actually a Norse God. Her reply to his inquest, which he was surprised to receive, was;23

"There are a few accounts regarding the God Loki, the one my original instructor was familiar with, labeled Loki a troublesome murderer... who, revolted against the Gods. My instructor, used to believe that if anyone at our base where to attempt such acts, it would be me."24

While Scythe was not fully aware of it then, the seeds for his attraction were instantly planted. He would watch her intently during missions and found himself growing protective of her, however her actions on the battlefield also led him to believe she was not one who needed protecting. Soon, she was placed as second in command and received a bed next to him. On the first night, Scythe lied awake (like he normally did) and listened to her strained moans. At first, he though she was doing what everyone else did, until he noticed her shadow was the only one in the bed. She did this every night for two weeks, until finally there was a night she didn't sleep at all. 25

Scythe took this opportunity to ask her about those moans. She told him she dreams the faces of the men she has killed. And so it started. Neither got any sleep that night, they lied on their own beds facing each other and talked for five hours straight. The talked about their lives before the war, the type of things they had committed before meeting each other, their secrets, regrets and fears. After a few more weeks passed, they were close enough to one another to divulge in some of their most reserved thoughts. And found peace in knowing the other felt the same. 26

As time progressed, the rest of their comrades noticed the relationship budding between them. It was especially evident, when Scythe crossed enemy lines on a solo mission, half a year ago, to get her back when she was taken prisoner. He succeeded in this, and together they single handily took down that entire enemy strong point before making it back to their own base. By that point, they were both thought dead and Gamble was in charge. While being considerably annoyed that he was back in 3rd rank, Gamble also began to show them a much different side of himself as he truly began to realize the connection they had. Gamble, who got his name because he takes chances on the field like he was only playing football, started to push them both to give into each other, instead of conversing all the time. Especially, since the attacks were becoming more frequent, and the death toll on a constant rise. Still, Scythe would just tell him he didn't want to ruin what he already had, and Loki would generally reply with a punch to the shoulder. Gamble knew though, that the real reason they refused to fuck, is the simple fact that it wouldn't be just sex for them. As such, afterwards they would have very little choice but to admit their love for one another. And war is no place for love. 27

"Love... will get you killed here." Loki had told him once, when a grunt was taken out because, like Scythe to her, he tried to save a female soldier whom he had fallen for.28

"Isn't it supposed to be, 'love will set you free'?" Gamble asked.29

"Yea... free in death." 30

Gamble had never directly asked, but he was pretty sure they had never even told each other that they found one another attractive. However, in Scythe's case, it was not exactly something that needed to be said, as every man in their compound had jacked off to the thought of Loki at least once. And she knew it. She was tall, lean and well structured. Scythe, was the only man in their base that kept his hair long. Since leaving North America, the rules on soldier presentation were suddenly a lot more lenient. 31

“Hey, we’re almost there.” Gamble called from the front, taking Loki away from her memories. 32

She sat up on her seat and peered through the front of the window to see ant like beings in the distance circling a large camp. She glanced to cue-balls shiny head and was tempted to smack the back of it, just to get a laugh in an attempt to clear her mind. She ended up thinking against this idea though, in fear they would see right through it.33

“O.K guys, we got one day to relax, who knows what the orders will be tomorrow.” She then said to her three comrades. They nodded in response and she felt the pull of the vehicle start to slow. She slung her gun over her shoulder, and was the first to exit when it came to a complete halt. She walked swiftly passed random soldiers patrolling, training and working to go straight into the medic’s tent. She walked up to Jennifer, the head nurse and asked if Scythe happened to be an injury. To Loki’s supreme delight, her response was ‘no’. She left the stale smelling tent and into the one they slept in, surprisingly, she was alone. This was rare indeed, whenever there was down time, a lot preferred to spend it right here. She walked past the bags, guns and beds to her own at the end and began to take apart her M-4. An old habit she found hard to drop, and besides, it helped ensure the gun would be working properly next time she used it. 34

“Emily.” 35

It was a whisper in her ear from behind, she felt the breath on her neck and was about to take her hunting knife from her waist and swing it around, before she realized the assumed attacker used her real name. Only the officials and one other person knew her real name. She instead turned slowly, as usual surprised by Scythe’s unusually stealth movements.36

“Brent… How did your mission go? I heard there were injuries.”37

He stared at her oddly, though she was getting used to it by now, then shrugged his shoulders and sat on Gambles bed. Loki moved the pieces of her gun and sat on the edge of her own bed, facing him. 38

“We almost lost Rake, in fact, we might still lose him.” Scythe finally said. “Two others got shot, not life threatening though.”39

“You seem bothered by this.” 40

Indeed, his tone was grave and the words left his lips in drawl. Again, he shrugged his shoulders.41

“It was supposed to be a simple mission. Things are getting worse.”42

Loki nodded. “I’ve thought that too.”43

“I’m afraid we’re going to be separated.” He suddenly said, almost cutting her off.44

“What?”45

“We’re both too strong of leaders, I’ve heard them talking and I think they want to give you your own command, out of Israel.”46

Loki felt her eyes go wide. That thought, that possibility, had never crossed her mind. She always found herself worried that one day he would be fatally wounded on a mission she was not involved in, but to be transferred and never know when, or if he dies. That never occurred to her.47

“I…I am afraid to admit something.” He said, noticing her thousand yard stare and taking his opportunity to speak.48

“No… no, don’t. I couldn’t stand hearing it… and then having to leave.” 49

Scythe nodded solemnly. 50

“If we do separate… I’ll survive for you. I’ll find you again, once we win.”51

“Brent…” It was hardly a whisper, but it said everything.52

He leaned over fast, without fully standing, and locked lips with her. In the same sequence, he pushed his body down on hers, now lying together on her bed. She did not protest but instead divulged in the only acts that took away her nightmares. They ignored the shouts and engines from outside the flimsy walls, were completely ignorant of the fact that four other soldiers walked in and u-turned right back out, and failed to notice the scars decorating both their bodies. They gave in. 53

If caught by superiors, since it was broad daylight, there would most definitely be a transfer on some level, but they didn’t care about that either. Not even comprehending the time they spent together, they lied there dressed afterwards, still on the same bed. Both of them thought of the next battle, of it possibly being their last. It was worth it, they had also both decided that. Scythe, twirled her sun-kissed brown hair between his fingers and took in deep breaths. 54

“Who would have thought it?”55

“What?”56

“Every day, if we’re not killing someone, we’re planning on how to do it. How are we still able to feel like this?”57

There was a pause.58

“That is a very good question.” 59