Crism Tears

Would you like to hear how I died in the arms of someone I loved?1

I was young, just turning sixteen. The kitchen was as busy as usual and my cell phone was as silent as dead, I'm not sure why I cared, it wasn't like I was popular and beautiful like my older sister. She shoved me aside groaning in annoyance and frustration, "UGH! Get out of the way! He'll be here any minute and I'm starving!" She carelessly shoved bread into the toaster clicking her tongue impatiently. 2

"Can I ride with ya'll on the way back?" I said hesitantly.3

"Hell no! I don't want you interrupting my only chance at love!" She cringed at the hideous glare mother gave her. "I'm sorry, I'll try. OKAY FINE! Mom stop staring at me like that! You don't know what I'm going through right now!" 4

"What is it, Mariah?" I asked worried. I hated it when people bullied her. I'd die if someone hurt her. She always had it so much more rough than I did.5

"Shut up you brat! Just because you don't have a boyfriend..." She trailed off at the sound of her cell and felt around her pockets for it. She smiled at the message. "Finally! Sorry, I gotta go. I'll be back before five!" 6

"WITH LYNN?" Mom said more commanding than asking.7

"Fine!" She slammed the door behind her but mother didn't look convinced.8

"Its okay Mom. I'm sure she won't forget. She's alot nicer than she let's on. Please Mom, don't get angry with her."9

She smiled at me but with a frown hidden underneath. Why did everyone think it was so hard to believe that Mariah was a good sister? I grabbed my bag and went on my way to school, walking with my best friends.10

"Eww! Sweetheart, what did you do to you hair?!" Jenny complained.11

"Oh, you don't like it? I'm sorry. I kinda like this burgandy color so I thought I would wear it up. I guess I should've dyed it something else? I thought maybe it would stand out more like this."12

"Well, yeah but... It looks jacked up. Dye it back."13

"Hey, never mind that. Lynn, can you help me with my homework?" Sarah pointed frantically at her Geomatry book.14

"Of Course! What is it you need help with?"15

"Hmmm," She tapped her lip with her pencil and opened to the page. "First off, why did Mr. Troy tell us to move 'x' here. What are we supposed to do here, and what the heck is this supposed to be?"16

"So, Geomatry in general." Jenny teased. Everyone around us laughed at her quick response. I wished I could be like that, popular, smart, funny, and beautiful.17

School was always a burden for me. I was the outcast, literally. I was sent with another teacher alot because they just didn't like me. I guess maybe because I didn't wear those V necks and skinney jeans people liked. Maybe I should've worn makeup like they did, but I was too insecure about revealing skin and I figured I would never look as beautiful in makeup like everyone else, but I didn't care too much. Mariah, no doubt, had it much harder. She couldn't even sleep sometimes and had to go out late at night for some fresh air. Then, when she'd get back so early in the morning, Mother would scold her so badly, and then force her to school the next day when she looked as if she was about to pass out. I refuse to think she was drunk. Mariah was too nice to drink.18

"Why the hell are you here?" Mr. Troy snapped as I took my seat. 19

I hesitated, "Sir?" I was sure I had brought the right subject and went to the right room. What did I do?20

"No one gave you your new schedual?" he said sarcastically. "You need to listen to you sister more often. She was trying to give this to you earlier but she said you were too busy flirting with some boys." He glared at me, "If you want to pass this class, I suggest you get serious before you go too far."21

"Um," I tried to defend myself but he shoved me outside with my new schedual crammed into my hand. "I'm sure Mariah never mentioned this. Maybe she was too busy with something else? No, I probably wasn't paying attention. Ugh, I'm such a terrible sister."22

I read my schedual and went away with a light heart into my new classroom. Every classroom was the same, quiet, strict, and everyone ignored me. At first I thought I was being meek, but eventually someone told me there was ABSOLUTELY no talking during class. I tried to find the teacher after class, but he must've been really busy because he was no where to be found.23

At lunch, I gave up my seat to Jenny so she could eat with her friends and I ate outside by myself. I saw my sister go out with her boyfriend for lunch. I felt bad that I didn't know his name. "I'm such a terrible person. I must be if everyone treats me this way, and not to mention I don't even know his name. I'll ask Mariah today when she picks me up." I smiled triumphantly and finished the ham sandwich.24

The bell rang as if it was screaming bloody murder. My motto was 'Do one good thing everyday.' I silently counted each one and the ones I could of done for future reference.25

"You okay Lynn?" Sarah chirped from behind me. 26

"Yeah, great!" I smiled.27

"That's good. Hey, can I borrow a twenty?" She pleaded, "Jenny and I are going to the mall with our boyfriends and I want to get Richard something nice."28

I sighed with a smile, "Okay. Tell them I say 'Hi' and 'hope you have a good time'."29

Sarah smiled mischivously, "Yeah, sure, whatever. Cough it up."30

I handed over the money and looked around. "Have you seen Mariah?"31

"Nope." She looked up at me after placing the twenty into her full wallet. "You don't need a wallet do you?"32

"Nah, just wondering." I lied. "I live close by, so don't worry. I wouldn't want to ruin you fun." Where was she? It was almost four, and Mother would scold her worse than before if I wasn't home.
Sarah frowned, "If your sure, Lynn."33

I smiled and waved as she crossed the street to her car. A few paces away, a car had just turned a sharp corner and was coming toward Sarah. She was completely oblivious of the threat, texting and listening to her ipod at the same time.34

"SARAH!" I screached, shedding my bags and running ridiculously fast to save her. The driver was drunk, there was no doubt from its swerving. "Sarah!" I screamed, crying. I made in time, a few seconds before the car and with all my might, I pushed Sarah into the curb, to safety. I stole a glance at the car, it was too late to run. It crashed into my hip, and I fell back and hit my head into the cement. I can still remember it with vivid violence. The car swerved again, and the tire ran over the my chest. I don't remember with certail clarity what happened after, but I know blood was oozing from my mouth, blood covered my chest, and my legs stung with unreal violene. I didn't have to check my head to see my head was bleeding. I was surrounded by a pool of my own blood, reflecting the unmerciful world before me.35

"LYNN!!!" Sarah screamed. She ran to my side with tears in her eyes. I remeber how warm the felt on my cheecks. The driver jumped out of the car, falling over her own feet two or three times.36

"Lynn!" She screamed. "I'm so ssssorry." She landed to my right. 37

"Mariah," I coughed, sprinkles of blood flew out of my mouth with every breath. 38

Maraih's eyes widened at the sobering sight before her. SHE had done this to me. "Lynn, I'm so sorry... I didn't... PLEASE DON'T DIE!!!"
She embraced me. It was nice too feel the warmth of her embrace... before I die. They attracted a whole crowd, but I didn't get to see anymore. My eyes closed at the emence pain I was going through. The last things I heard before I died was, "DAMN YOU LYNN! NOW I'LL LOSE MY LICENCE!!"39

In my funeral, there was nothing that made me feel any better. Hardly any of my friends came, only Sarah. Mother came. So did Father, which suprised me since he was so distant since thier divorce. He brought his family too. His little newborn baby was so cute. But the one person I wanted to see didn't show. Mariah had gone with her boyfriend. He wanted to make it up to her since it was his idea to bring her to the bar. 40

I sit now on my gravestone, with broken wings and chains of hatred and inforgiveness binding me to this earth. Anger boils into my chest as I recall each scandolous deed my sister commited to me. Time was friendly to me, and revealed to me every question I've ever had about my life. I saw the children I would've had, my husband, my home. Crism tears ran down my cheecks as I saw what my sister had stolen from me. I wanted return.41

I followed my sister home one day. She was such a liar. She never went through any drama. She WAS the drama. I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming at her. I had a feeling she sensed my presence because she was constantly looking back at me, with terror, and tried to tell herself she was I was never with any boy, you were with three. You said I wasn't listening to you, but really, you were too drunk to remember to hand me my schedual, so you made up a story to Mr. Troy. Basically, you lied to all my teachers giving me a bad rep. Because of the hate that came from your lies, because they will not forgive me of what I've never done, I'm bound here forever, to roam as a ghost. Its my own personal hell." Mariah was curled up into a ball, crying.42

"Leave me alone! I'm sorry! Okay?! I'm sorry!"
I stared at her with hate. "Your pathetic. Your pregnant with that man's son. You went to go drink cause you thought it would kill it, so Mother would not have to take you to the doctor for an abortion, and she wouldn't scold you." 43

"NO! YOUR LYING!" She screamed. "I'm not, I'm not!"44

"Wishing it away won't work, Mariah." I sighed. "I can't believe I looked up to you so much." I unlocked the door, and it swung open, "Do you want to know, what would've happend if I hadn't died? You would've told Mother I was pregnant, and you would of had Johnathin during the prom. You were going to bring it the adoption center, and elope with your boyfriend, Kyle. And you know what else? You would of told mother it was MY child, and you didn't want to live under the same roof as me." I raised my hand and a dagger materialized in my hand, "Well, at leaste you'll go somewhere. You belong somewhere, unlike me." I threw the dagger at her, its poison spread through her body within a second. With a shrill cry, her soul left her body, and I felt her presence leave this world. 45

I sit at my gravestone now, with crism tears dripping down to my gravestone. I don't belong anywhere, no one cares. I'm not emo, its a fact. Everyone went to Mariah's funeral, her gravestone was right next to mine. Her's was made of marble the shade of pearl with,46

'Here lies Maraih Marie Stone. An angel, a saint, a role model, a daughter. May she rest in peace.' My friends all stood up and gave thier stories, thier sympathies, and thier goodbys.
I cried my soul away on my gravestone. My crism tears stained the stone that only read, 'Lynn Courtney Stone. Rest in peace.' The only rose I had on my deathbed, was the one that bloomed from my tears.