the bullet

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the bullet2

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there is a boy named aiden crow and there is a girl named Cristy.4

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 Aiden and Cristy have been together for 5 years6

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this is their story........8

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the boy called the cristy and tells the her he loves her she says it back he tells her "i would take a bullet for you" she tells him "i have to go" she hangs up and leaves the boy confused and upset.10

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aiden doesn't hear from her for a week .12

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cristy calls the boy and tells him she is sorry and that she has been in the hospital and that she is sick.14

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the boy gets worried but she doesn't tell him whats wrong she tells him she love him and he says its back.16

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aiden does't hear from cristy he gets really worried and goes to her house her mother answers and tells aiden that cristy died from cancer the mother begins to cry the boy begins to break down and cry he leaves.18

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8 weeks pass and police find aidens body in his attic with his wrist slit and a note in his hand... 20

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the note said:22

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"she died for me i would take a bullet for her"24

tell me what u think?

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Comments


  • SocioPathetic...
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    yeah wondering is right. it would be awesome if you made the sotyr detailed... maybe wordcount of about 700-1000 words. would be awesome, however, good developing idea, keep going


  • Unwelcome
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    i think the story line was really good and in my oppinion you should try and fix the grammar and try and add a bit of detail but thats just me it is really good...