When the Heart is Torn - Chapter 1

Jazzy 1

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Why was I here again? 3

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I stood alone in the corner of the room, watching as the party going on around me took on a life of its own. The house was overflowing with seniors, juniors, and the occasional sophomore or freshman, all from Lincoln High, the school I attended. Everywhere I looked, people were talking, dancing, or making out. Ugh. This was so not my scene.5

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"Jazzy! There you are!" My friend Emma appeared, pushing through the crowd of people to grab my arm. "Come on - the party's heating up. You can't just stand in a corner and do nothing!"7

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I rolled my eyes. "Em, you know that parties are your thing. Not mine. Remind me again why I let you convince me to be dragged out here? I mean, come on. Look at this - it's pretty easy to see that I don't belong here.9

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Emma laughed. "Come on, relax. Here, have a drink of this. It might help." She winked and held out a plastic cup full of an amber liquid. I hesitently took it, raising the cup to my nose to sniff it suspiciously.11

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"Beer?" I glared at Emma. "You know I don't drink. And apparently I'm going to have to drive us home tonightl. Thanks, but no thanks."13

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I tried to hand it back to her, but she stubbornly crossed her amrs against her chest. "Don't be such a stiff! You're always so serious. You need to learn to have some fun! Now, I'm not letting you go anywhere until I see you take a drink of that. Just one tiny drink. What's wrong? Can't you hold your beer?"15

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That was it. Emma knew that I could never turn down a challenge. My eyes narrowed to glare at her. I put the cup to my lips, threw my head back, and chugged the beer.17

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It burned as it went down my throat, but I couldn't falter now. Besides, the burn quickly subsided as more of the liquid slid down my throat. Finally finished, I sneered and Emma and handed her back the empty cup.19

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"Well, it looks like somebody needs a refill." A build, blonde-haired guy that I recognized from the Varsity football team appraoched me. He handed me another beer and smiled. "Drink up."21

Well, waht the heck. A couple of beers wouldn't hurt me. I took a small sip, then a larger one when I realized that the beer no longer had the same harsh, burning taste that the first one had. I gulped it down greedily, and the football jock grabbed me another.22

"Come on, let's dance." The jock pulled me into the middle of the room, where everyone was dancing. I didn't try to resist. I may not like parties, but I loved dancing.23

A fast song with a nice beat perfect for dancing came on. I moved close to the jock, moving my hips seductively. The jock smiled, obviously liking what he saw. He took a step closer and placed his hands on my hips.24

I put the beer to my lips only to realize that it was empty. Someone next to me that I didn't recognize handed me another one, and then another once I gulped that one down. I soon lost count of how many drinks I'd had. Oh well, I felt fine. In fact, I felt pretty damn good!25

I looked up at the guy I was dancing with and smiled coyly. Then I turned and backed up against him, all the time dancing, and grinded up against him. His hands as they slid around my waist sent shivers down my spin, but not in a bad way.26

He leaned down and started to leave a soft, sensual trail of kisses down my neck. It felt delicious, so delicious, in fact, that I did not resist as he spun me around and pressed his lips to mine.27

His mouth was open, and I was so surprised by the kiss that mine was too. He took the opportunity and wasted no time in slipping his tongue itno my mouth. He slipped his hands down towards my butt, and for a second I faltered, pulling away.28

But a couple of beers later, I did nothing to stop him as he pulled me into an empty bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him. I hardly knew what was happening as he got on top of me on the bed and started to kiss me while fumbling with my clothes. And before I knew it, I was too far gone to try to stop him from getting what he wanted.29

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I walked inside my house, head down, feeling like shit. I had a killer hangover, I looked terrible, and my mom had probably already figured out why I hadn't come home last night.31

"Jazamyne Leigh Pierce!" My mom had been waiting for me, and I could tell that she was pissed as she came into view. She looked at me in disgust, hands on her hips. "So, who did you fuck? Or were there multiple people?"32

I glared at her. "Leave me alone. How would you know that's what I was doing last night? I stayed at Ema's house." The lie rolled easily off my tongue. I stayed at Emma's frequently, so it was a believable excuse.33

My mom, however, wasn't buying it. "Don't you dare lie to me. I'm not stupid, you know. Emma called this morning to see if you got home alright. So, why don't you tell me what you were really doing?"34

Now I was pissed. What I did was my business, not my mom's. If I wanted to make stupid decisions, that was my choice. "Apparently you already know what I did. And don't even ask who, because I have no idea. Besides, what's it to you anyways?"35

I didn't see it coming as my mother slapped me full force across my face. "You little whore!" She screamed at me. "I didn't raise you to sleep around with every guy that asks! You don't even know the guy's name? What the hell where you thinking?"36

I raised a hand to my throbbing cheek. I was pissed before, now I was taken over by uncontrollable rage. "Oh, I'm the whore? So I made a mistake, I was drunk. You don't even have any idea who my father is! You were fucking any guy that was in sight, practically begging them for it!"37

"Don't you dare talk back to me you little bitch! I should have just gotten an abortion, then I wouldn't have to deal with your shit. I'm done. I'm leaving tomorrow for a business trip. I was only going to stay for about two or three weeks, but getting away from you for longer is a chance I can't pass up. I'm not coming back for about three months, maybe longer. In the meantime, I can't trust you to stay here alone. My old friend Jan Stewart lives about three hours from here. You'll be staying with her until I decide to return. Start packing."38

The room suddenly felt like it was spinning. All oxygen was sucked from my lungs. Three hours away from everything I knew and loved...I wasn't going to let this happen without a fight. "No. I'm not going. It's the end of the summer. Emma and I have plans. We're in charge of the big back-to-school bash. And speaking of school, what about that? How will I get to school if I"m three hours away?"39

My mom shook her head. "Just shut up. You're not getting out of it. YOu and Emma will have to cancel your plans, and someone else will plan your little party. And Jan has assured me that their school will accept you for however many semesters you will be staying. So it's all settled. And if you try to argue with me about this, I'll just leave you there longer. I left plenty of suitcases in your room. Pack everything you're going to need. We leave tomorrow at four a.m."40

I opened my mouth to argue, but thought better of it and wisely snapped my mouth shut. I turned my back to my mother and walked out of the room and up the stairs to my bedroom.41

As my mom had promised, three large suitcases and one medium-sized one lay open on my bedroom floor. I grabbed the first one, set it on my bed, and turned to my closet. I decided that I'd use one suitcase for tops, one for bottoms, and one for the rest of the blothes I was brinking or whatever else I could cram in. The medium-sized one, I would use for basically everything else.42

I began pulling open drawers of my dresser and throwing my favorite pants into the first suitcase. Skinny jeans, mini skirts, and the occasional sweatpants and pajama bottoms had soon filled the first bag, and I reached for the second.43

My closet began to empty as I folded and rolled up the shirts as small as I could to fit them in. Spaggetti straps, tank tops, band tees, t-shirts, long-sleeves, jackets - I piled them in until I couldn't fit any more and still get the suitcase to zip shut.44

As I began packing the third suitcase, I was urprised to find tears in my eyes. I was really upset about this. I hated that my own mother was going to kick me out for three months or longer, making me live with an unfamiliar stranger in an unfamiliar house in a neighborhood where nobody knew me.45

My tears where gone by the time I finished packing, but the anger and sense of betrayal was not. Even worse, was the overwhelming sense of loneliness. Pretty soon, there'd be no Emma, none of my other school friends. I would be alone...completely alone. 46

I decided to take a walk around my neighborhood, planning to stop by Emma's and explain what had happened. My feet felt as heavy as my heart, and I walked slow, barely shuffling along, head down.47

"Hey, it's my girl Jazzy!"48

My heart lifted a bit at the osund of my friend Jake's voice coming from behind me. I turned, and sure enough, there he was. I studied him, trying to memorize his every feature. His messy blonde hair, happy hazel eyes. The way he seemed to overflow with energy. His warm smile.49

"What's up Jazz? You're looking pretty upset." Jake slung an arm around my shoulder and started to walk beside me. "Why don't you tell Jakey here all about it."50

I managed a small laugh, but that was it. I was too depressed for anything more. Taking a deep breath, I told Jake what had happened.51

"Damn." Jake shook his head. "That sucks. Your mom is taking you away from me for three months. Or longer!" Jake's voice was sad, which made me want to cry again. "So...who was it? The bastard that took advantage of you?"52

I shrugged. "I actually don't know, exactly. I was too drunk to care. He was on the football team, I know that. He was wearing a Varsity jacket with the number nine on the sleeve.53

Jake rolled his eyes upward in thought. For a few moments, he was silent, then he snapped his fingers in recognition. "Ozzie. Brent Ozzie."54

For some reason, knowing his name only made me feel worse. It was as if now that I knew his name, there would be no escaping the fact that this was really happening. The tears came again and I turned away, not wanting Jake to see me like this.55

But it was too late. Jake had already seen the tears sparkling in my eyes, threatening to spill over.56

Jake gently grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him. "Aww, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." He gathered me up in his arms and pressed me against him. I wrapped my arms around im and leaned my head against his chest, taking in the comfort that came from his arms around me, his heart's soothing beating against my cheek.57

He pulled away, but only enough to look me in the eye. He tenderly placed his hand on my cheek, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. He gazed down at me, his hazel eyes filled with an emotion I had never seen there before.58

"Jazzy," His voice was barely louder than a whisper, and chracked with emotion. "I don't even know how to describe all that I'm feeling right now. I want to kill Ozzie for what he did. I hate your mom for making you go somewhere so far away. I desperately want to keep you here in my arms, and never let you go. Because the truth is, Jazzy - I love you."59

His lips touched mine, and I instantly forgot all my problems. This was nothing like the kisses I had recieved the night before. Those had been rough, lustfull, demanding. This was soft, a gentle brush of his lips against mine.60

"Jazzy," Jake's lips were so close, I could feel his breath warm on my face. I longed for him to kiss me again. "Please, tell me you love me too. Tell me you'll be mine."61

I didn't hesitate the slightest bit. "I'm already yours, Jake. I love you too."62

He kissed me again, and again. Then he simply held me in his arms, holding onto me just as tightly as I held to him. Claiming me as his very own. I was his, and he was mine. Nohting had ever felt so right before in my life.63

However, one thing was bothering me. Licking my lips nervously, I voiced my doubts. "Jake? But what about the distance that's goign to be between us? Tomorrow, I'll be three hours away. I can't ask for you to wait for me until my bitch of a mother decides I can come back. I'm sure there will be other girls closer by that you'll want to date."64

Jake carefully grabbed my chin and tilted my face up so taht I was looking him in the eyes. "Listen to me. You are the only girl I could ever want. I don't mind waiting for you - you're worth it. And besides, we'll still be able to see each other. I'll call you every night, and I'm willing to make the trip to see you on weekends. I love you Jazamyne. And I'll do anything for you.65

He kissed me again then grabbed my hand. "It's getting late, and you have to get up early. Come on, I'll walk you home."66

We walked together, hand in hand, slowly. Neither of us wanted to get to my house, because we both knew that we were going to have to say goodbye. Neither of us said a word. But then again, neither of us needed to. Here, in this moment, words were unable to describe our emotions. But we could feel them, laying thickly in the air between us.67

When we reached my block, we slowed down even more. Soon, we were barely moving. Jake gave my hand a soft squeeze, and I looked up to smile at him. But when I saw him, the smile faded, and instead I stared at him, wide-eyed.68

While we had been walking, the moon had come up, and its effects were ethereal. His brown hair shone with a silvery tint. His skin looked an alabaster hue, and his hazel eyes, which frequently changed color, where the golden shade of honey, flashing brilliantly.69

He stopped and looked at me curiously. "What?" he asked. "Is something wrong?"70

I shook my head. "No, not at all. Everything is just so perfect...you're perfect. And right now, you look..." I struggled for words that would give him justice. "Like a god."71

Jake stared at me, his mouth open in surprise. then he smiled, pulled me to him, and kissed me softly, lovingly. Taking a strand of my hair in his fingers, he said quietly, "And you, my darling, look like the goddess of the night. Beautiful beyond compare, and powerful. Strong and delicate at the same time."72

He kissed me once more before we continued walking. Sadly, we soon reached my house. Jake walked me up to the front door and took me in his arms for a final goodbye kiss.73

"Goodnight." He whispered in my ear, holding me close. "Have a good night's sleep, full of sweet dreams. I love you."74

He held the door open for me and I slipped inside. As I walked up the stairs, I thought about how lucky I was to have the guy I loved, the most amazing person I knew, love me back. As I snuggled up in bed under my blankets, I couldn't stop smiling. The whole night, I dreamed of Jake.75

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