Folded sheet of paper, 1
Hidden in her back pocket,2
His smiling picture,3
Rested inside a locket.4
Emotions hidden behind a smile,5
She loved you though all awhile,6
Stuck in that sick love affair,7
Her sad blue eyes hid behind red hair.8
No fake smiles when she was with you,9
Her love for you was oh so true,10
Her heart ripped at the seams,11
But you took away the bad dreams.12
Her mind was set,13
When you and her love met,14
She'd wait forever if she had to,15
No way could she forget you.16
Her friends got it,17
And they knew, 18
She never loved anyone,19
Like she loves you.
You're amazing, but you probably already know that by now :]
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Rhyming poetry is always difficult. Too hard for me, so i don't even bother. some good lines here, best being the line about folded paper in her back pocket. Gives the impression of supressed emotion. Nice.
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Rhyming
Rhyming was something my english teacher dreaded cause she said alot of people couldnt rhyme and still make sense. I bet you could write something that rhymed, it would be different coming from you though but still good. i always have a sheet of paper in my back pocket. -
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You are a lot better at rhyming than me Blue. Great idea to always have paper with you. Ask any poet and s/he will tell you that s/he does exactly the same thing.
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Nicely Done
A bit sad, but nice uplift at the end.
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Very nice
It worked for its simplicity. The red hair and blue eyes must have made quite a contrast.
Good writing!
DarkOneShadow
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A very cute poem!
I always have trouble making words rhyme, but you seem to have done a very good job with it. The only mistake I saw was that "seems" in line 11 should actually be "seams." This is a lovely and emotional poem, light and cute, and has a lot of great details that make it sound special. I hope it is appreciated by its intended audience. 
Best of luck to you with all of your writings!
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This is very good. Twenty thumbs up. Oh wait, I only got two, sorry. I guess I could just steal the rest, but people wouldn´t be happy if I took their thumbs.
If this is for someone, it´s a very lucky person
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oh wow.....amazing :]
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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