Dear.. 1
Well diaries are for kids, so until I figure out who exactly I'm writing this to, that place will stay blank. So, life decided to be harsh lately, I'm losing all those that I've grown attached to. I know how I feel, I know what I want, I just don't know if it's what I need. I keep telling whoever asks that I'm fine, that it's not what I need, but in reality I need it.2
What is it?- I've yet to figure it out.. I feel like something is missing in my heart, a place where no one, no one at all has been able to fill.3
Maybe I'm too picky? Maybe I just give off the 'wrong vibe'. Maybe everyone is playing it safe, or maybe just maybe no one wants to deal with someone like me, I think the last one there makes the most sense. I mean I sit alone at night and just cry, cry for no reason, and I get up every morning pretending everything is alright, when no one has looked into my eyes and notice that nothing is right. When I try and tell someone, I feel selfish, when I try I feel like its a stupid waste of time, when I try I feel unwanted, or too needy.. and I AM NEEDY.. I need to be told I'm cared for, wanted, and loved.. and rarely do I hear it.. Im not complaining too much am I? Most likely, I mean, I guess thats what I'm good at.. Well thing.. once I figure out what you are I'll call you that, but until then I'll keep on sharing how I feel..4
Me..5
Author notes
I could get used to this..
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Comments
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Sweetie, you have friends who will be here for you whenever you need us. I may not be able to physically give you a hug, but in my heart I do. I know what it's like to sit and cry night after night, and I know that it's difficult to be cheerful when your heart is heavy. I also understand that others may seem to be turning away, but it's because they don't know how to help you. You have a place you can turn, and most of us here write to get something out of our system. Be it public or private, you have friends here, Mal. Never hesitate to come to me if I can help. I'll just listen if that's all you want. You are loved, my sweet girl. Love, Gramma ♥
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Diaries are great for several reasons. They allow us to get out those feelings that we keep bottled up and they also allow others a glimpse into feelings we keep hidden, and would like them to see. You have friends on this site, but it isn't the same. You need someone in your life to see how you feel. Maybe try telling them? Don't worry about feeling guilty...sometimes we just need a darn hug, and a little understanding. The rest? Relationships, etc. I know you don't want to hear this but you are young and things change. But here is the main point: I'm sorry you feel sad. You've been a friend here to me and I wish you nothing but happiness. If my wishes and prayers count for anything, I will add you and hope for the best.
Keep writing, whether you post them for people to read is up to you, but I think writing your feelings might be important right now. Just a hunch.
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