Rush: Chapter 15

I woke up sometime around noon with a bit of a headache. My throat hurt from crying myself to sleep, and I was just plain unhappy. But I was alive, and that was all that mattered.1

The morning was colder than usual. I had never notice just how cold and windy it was because I had woken up in a hotel for the past few days. I missed the beds, and I was already missing the shower and bathroom.2

As I thought of these things, I figured I should probably set up a new base of operations before pursuing my father any longer. I thought about renting a room in another hotel, but I wasn't so sure how safe it was. Even though Lance was gone, he could still spy on me. No, I needed someplace unmarked; remote.3

I thought about where Lance and Arthur had chosen in the past to stay in. They both favored abandoned buildings. I figured I should head to the area where Arthur was staying in, as there seemed to be a good amount of refuges. Of course, I would only be in the area. I wouldn't be too close to Arthur. The mere thought was just creepy.4

I headed east, toward the abandoned buildings Arthur occupied and Lance had picked out earlier. The walk was long, because as soon as I left the main area of Chicago, there were many buildings that seemed to fall out of use. I stopped to check them out, but most of them actually had people working in them or were too difficult to get into.5

I must have considered at least fifty buildings, all of them failing, before I thought of something. What if I could stay in a building without the people that worked there noticing? It would be a stretch to find a building with a rarely used corner, but I didn't take up much space, and it would only have to be at night.6

I began looking at the factories and such in a new light. I tried to watch the patterns of the workers, looking through windows to see where they went.7

Eventually, I found something. It wasn't a building, but possibly even better. It was what looked and smelled like an oil refinery, on a remote street; West 59th. It was very open with very few buildings, but a lot large barrel-shaped structures to hold the oil. Piping ran from the barrels and wound all around the place.8

I found the sign near a building that said Trumbull Asphalt. The main building was behind the sign, and there wasn't any gate locking me out, not that any gate could. The building was made of bricks, and near the sign was a lower area of the building with a metal awning hanging over the area. Perfect.9

I looked around for people that might see me, but there was absolutely no one in sight. I was sure there were workers, but very few. Again, perfect.10

I approached the building and ran up the wall, barely catching the rim of the brick roof. A set of metal rails ran above me to stop people from falling, as well as some sort of cloth. I hunched my body up as I hung from the wall, placing my feet on the brick. Then, I sprung up, grabbing the bottom of the rails. I reached up for the other rail and pulled myself over.11

The space was fairly empty. There was a door leading into the building, but the door would probably be locked at night, so I couldn't use it. But it would do.12

I placed my hands on the rails and looked out at the unremarkable landscape. I was really on my own now, and it gave me a hollow feeling. I had no one to talk to, no one to bounce ideas off of. It was a sad.13

My stomach rumbled and stopped me from delving any further into my melancholy thoughts. I had spent nearly all afternoon finding this new place, and had skipped breakfast and lunch. I was ready for dinner.14

I walked a long ways down the street and turned left. I didn't find very many restaurants. Only a Mexican restaurant, which I wasn't in the mood for, but it looked like that was my only choice.15

I continued walking until I found the next restaurant. Green Acres House of Pancakes. I couldn't help but think about the first breakfast I had eaten with Lance. He ordered pancakes. I sighed, but in respect for my once-good friend, I went in and ordered what Lance ordered: plain old pancakes with tons of syrup.16

It was little things like these that reminded me of Lance. How funny and charming he had been. His sense of humor and willingness to help whenever I needed him. This train of thought only led me to his betrayal, and I couldn't help but question if these traits had been lies.17

I continued to grow more stressed as I realized how much about him I missed. If I needed him earlier, I really needed him now. I wanted so bad to go back and find him, to forgive him, but I knew I couldn't. That would lead to my death.18

By now I was fighting back tears. I was sick of crying. I felt stupid for crying about losing a traitor, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to forget him, but I couldn't, and that was the most frustrating part.19

I finished my dinner and paid with cash. When I left, night was falling. The wind was even colder now, and I could hardly stand it. I wished I could have brought more clothing than my sweater, but unfortunately I hadn't.20

As I turned the corner to return to Trumbull, it began to rain. It started out as a drizzle, nothing that my hood couldn't handle, but soon it began to pour. The rain was absolutely freezing, and combined with the strong wind, it was just awful.21

As the rain pounded against me, my emotions welled up. I was frustrated not only with the rain, but with my inability to get over Lance. I mean, it wasn't as if I dated the guy! I had only known him for a few days! Why did I care so much that he was gone?22

I reached the Trumbull building and climbed up as I had before. It was more difficult this time, as every surface was wet and slippery. By the time I made it up, tears were openly streaming down my face as I came to terms with myself. I wanted Lance to come back more than anything. He was all I had, and I had given him up.23

But I still knew that I couldn't do that. He had betrayed me, but a part of me didn't care. As I laid down in the corner with my blanket, sobbing, I was seriously tempted to ask him to come back. Maybe I was wrong. After all, I was still alive. But I couldn't take that chance.24

These thoughts battled inside of me all night. The rain just kept coming as my soaked body shook with distress and cold. I slept very little as I went back and forth, but never reached a decision. I couldn't, and every moment that he wasn't offering a shoulder to cry on was even worse than the moment before.25

I felt like I would never see the sun again. I felt like I would never be happy. I felt like I would never find my father. It was all this sorrow and doubt that combined with the awful storm to make me absolutely wracked with sadness.26

And without Lance, it was, without a doubt, the worst night of my life.