About J.-Chapter 3

After that kiss, I felt this connection between Angel and me.  Whenever I didn't look at him I felt his eyes burning into me, and whenever I could sneak a glance at him, I felt like my body was on fire, and I know, that he knew, that I wanted him.  I don't know what happened to me, first I was the "late bloomer" of my group, and now I was on my way to being the first to lose my virginity.  God Angel, was one of the most good looking men I had ever seen, and I was surprised, nay, shocked that he even looked at me.  He was beautiful, whereas, in my eyes, I was just average, and even if I was pretty, I was still chubby.  He looked like the type of guy who liked thin women not chubby 14 year olds.  I found myself thinking about him all the time, but I never thought I loved him.  After that kiss we would kiss whenever we could, whenever my parents weren't around, we'd go into a corner, or he'd pin me against the wall, and kiss me.  My heart would beat so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest, and I could feel his heart beating as hard as mine.  Our lips would touch, and it felt like electricity. His hands ran all over me, they touched my breast, my hips, my ass, my vagina, my stomach, my face.  And whenever we were done, my lips felt extremely swollen. And he'd open his eyes, and he'd have a dazed look in them.  As the weeks passed by, he began to take it further.  One time we were making out standing up, and he took his Penis out, it wasn't the first time I had seen it, and he whispered urgently how he wanted to be inside me.  I clung to him, I felt like I was spinning on an axis, if I let go, I would have fallen, I was so dizzy. Some how, he managed to slip the head only, inside of me, and I could feel him restraining himself, on that impulse to push into me.  And I wanted him to, badly, but he whispered to me, "no not here, not  like this."  He kept pulling us back from the edge.  But he also kept pushing us to the limit.   Soon it was December and he found a job as a cook, and he was moving out.  I  began to get more depress, and frustrated.  I had kept our affair a secret, even from my best friend, this was something between the two of us, and also illegal, he was 33 years old.  He moved out, and found his own place, and it was very far from where I lived, about an hour's ride away.  Soon I rarely saw him, but I did speak to him every day. One day in late December, after Christmas, I was still on vacation, and he came to visit.  It just so happened that the house was empty.  I opened the door, and he grinned at me.  I missed him so, that I hugged him in the door way and kissed him, and he pushed me inside gently, and closed the door. He didn't want the neighbors to see us. We kissed and kissed and I walked backwards to my bedroom, never breaking the kiss.  Soon we were in my bedroom, and all I had on was a night gown.  I began to unbutton his shirt, and soon that was gone. He took off everything else, and he slid his hands up my thys and took off my panties.  He tried to take off my nightgown but I was too afraid to show myself to him, and he seem to understand so he left it on, and led me to the bed.  I laid down, and he pushed the nightgown up to my neck. Even with the nightgown only covering my arms and upper chest, I was less nervous. I could feel him trying to restrain himself, and I kissed him, and it was then that I realized that I loved him, and that I was in love with him. I ran my hands through his long hair. And suddenly I felt him push into me, and I gasped.  It didn't even hurt, it just felt like he was filling up a space that had never been filled before, and he whispered to me, "I'm all the way inside of you." He smiled and began to move, in and out, thrusting, and thrusting, non stop, releasing the all the pent up lust we had inside for months. I met him, thrust for thrust, and it was wonderful. I didn't orgasm, but it felt so good just to have him in me, that it didn't matter.   We did it two more times and then he was gone.1