The snow fell in tiny flakes across the white desert of the city. It was early morning, the light just inching its way up behind the clouds, casting everything into a sparkly, like a fantasy you would dream of. Everyone was tucked away into their beds, unaware of the wonderland waiting for them when they were awoke, leaving the snow untouched and pure. Save for a few footprints, already beginning to be buried beneath the snow.1
The footprints lead to the body of a girl, spinning in circles. The snow fell onto her black hair, turning it falsely white as it raised and lowered with each full turn. Her black dress, where the snow melted, rose into a circle at her knees as she twirls elegantly, head facing the sky, her blue eyes cast up at the mirroring white above. Her black furry boots completed the ensemble, making small circles in the snow where she moved.2
She seemed to be apart of the scene, like an angel dancing in the clouds, her moves effortless and elegant as she twisted and twirled. But it was a sad sight to see as well, even though her mouth was cast up into a smile, there was sadness about this angels dance. It was like she was doing this, but only this, why wasn’t she tucked up in her bed as well? What had drawn this girl from her bed?3
The answer sat with in a tree, her long blue limbs and tattered blue dress a wicked elegance. Her long blue and white hair fell in ringlets down her back; her icy blue eyes watched the girl with mischief and taunt. A Faerie of true statute, her wings so thin and clear, you could hardly see them.4
A wicked trick this faerie must have played upon the girl, giving her everything she wished for, which a deadly catch. That was how they worked, wicked, beautiful, vengeful little creatures you dream to be, yet dread to meet. What had the girl stumbled into, what did she wish, and what did she receive?5
The light made its way up into the clouds higher, signalling the day with the distant sounds of alarm clocks and starting cars. This signalled the end of the faeries time, and she disappeared, the girl still spinning, a smile on her face. But even as people walked by, or drove in their cars. No one saw her, no one gave acknowledgement she was there, and so she spun, a smile upon her face. 6
Author notes
Contest(lady Pixie): Third Option
I love winter, and have always wanted to incoperate something like this into a story, but for now I shall just post it here.
Hope you liked ^^
In a list
A contest entry
- Three Options- Quick Challenge by Lady Pixie.
175 points, ended November 15, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 700 Words or Less by therenaissancegirl.
450 points, ended November 21, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think she wished for?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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"when they were awoke" -- "when they awoke" or something like that.
"The footprints lead to the body of a girl" -- "lead" should be "led." Also, when you say "the body of a girl" it sounds like you're talking about a corpse. Be careful with the way you phrase things.
"She seemed to be apart of the scene" -- "apart" should be "a part"
"this angels dance" -- "angels" should be "angel's"
"What had drawn this girl from her bed?" -- this sentence is a little redundant considering you said almost the same thing the sentence before. Maybe if you changed "from her bed" to something different to spice it up a bit (example: "from her nighttime slumber") it would flow better.
"The answer sat with in a tree" -- "within" or just "in"
"which a deadly catch" -- I think you meant "with"
"signalling/signalled" -- spelled wrong. There's supposed to be only one L.
I'm not quite sure about the prompt you used; was it an encounter to the spirit world? Gosh, I should've made people put it in the AN or something!
I really like this story. It was original and interesting, and aside from some grammar stuff there's absolutely nothing to complain about. Great job, and good luck in both my and Lady P's contests!!
Renaissance
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and Yes.,..It was...becaise the Fea are apart of that weorld ^^
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I'll be editng everything when I am finished my NaNoWriMo
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Hope you take the story further, it's quite good. I feel sorry for the girl towards the end, but at the same time, I also love spinning around in the snow! I'd probably keep on smiling for a while if I was in her situation
Lovely, emotional writing. -
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I might add this scene to a story o.o What story, I do not know. >.> I might be starting a story called A Winter Rose is Black....And this might go in it ^^
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That's good. What a good title, I've just been sifting through a load of SW fantasy stories for one with a title that interests me, and it took so long I GOT BORED! And then I come here, and you've got one, and you've not even written the story... it's almost laughable
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aw shucks...You should check out Blood & Magick ^^ Its still needs editing...but Ity's almost complete..s sadly I only have 1-11 of new verson then 19-16 of the new verson I will finish moving 12-18 to the new verson after I fin ish the novel ^^
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as always i love your writing!! great job!!!!
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tyvm ^^
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I love the picture- I want those boots
Most of all, I want snow 
Stupid Texas
Anyways, this was a beautiful scene filled with rich descriptions that I could easily visualize
I liked your use of the prompt here. 
First-Mate caught some of the errors, here's a couple others that I saw that you may want to correct
P1: It was early morning, the light just inching its way up behind the clouds, casting everything into a sparkly, like a fantasy you would dream of.
sparkly-like fantasy (get rid of 'a' after like' and get rid of the comma after sparkly)
P1: Everyone was tucked away into their beds, unaware of the wonderland waiting for them when they were awoke, leaving the snow untouched and pure.
get rid of 'were' before awoke.
P3: She seemed to be apart of the scene, like an angel dancing in the clouds, her moves effortless and elegant as she twisted and twirled.
a part
Overall, this was a lovely piece and I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for your entry! 
Pixie
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thank you, I will edit those as soon as I have time ^^
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P3 angle's dance.
P4 within should be one word.
P5 with instead of which, reads better.
A good story that leaves it opne in the ending and the reader wondering if the girl really exists or not, is she dead or alive, and if she isn't the fairy's dopplegagner.
I would have chosen a dark background, maybe the one with the emo chick with angel's wings in the backgrounds section.
Well written for the prompt. I enjoyed the story.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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thank you for your comment ^^ and I chose white, because it was snow she was lost in, almost like we ourselves could be c aught within the Faeries clutch ^^.
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wow.. that was totally incredible. writing just plain out and caught me.. I love the idea, and your descriptions are wonderful! <3 <3 <3
beginning: 5, language: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.
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o.o tyvm
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This is a beautiful piece. I enjoyed it very much. Perfect as a scene or a stand-alone. I loved your descriptions and your story-writing abilities.
~Mab
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ty, It just poped into my head and i had to use it ^^ and this helps me very much today, I have been in a weird mood and needed to hear this.
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Entertaining
Some very good elements in this story. Great descriptions, "the white desert of the city." I could feel the coolness of the air, the plumes of steam as she exhaled. Nicely done with the Faerie. Couple grammar mistakes "tucked away into there beds>s/b their. Don't want to be over critical, but you could polish a bit. All gems need to be polished so each facet shines as brilliantly as possible.
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XD My grammar sucks, so I like it when people point out my mistakes, I not good at finding them v.v
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enlist me as your proofreader. I'm a human proofreader, I spot mistakes. Do it! next time you post a story run it by me!
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eh, next time I post you can go a head and proofread It wont be for a bit though
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