Love Song for No One

Tenth Grade was the year everybody is allowed to try out for sports teams; the year when the parents who had had second thoughts on buying their 15 year old daughter a cell phone get her a cell phone; the year when everything is supposed to be so much better because you're not a freshman anymore; the year when you get your braces off; the year when you don't have to worry about making a good impression because you already know the teachers... I had no idea that that year would be such a mess; yet, it would also be the year I found myself. 1

I was sort of a social outcast who was best friends with one of the most popular guys around. Aiden; my neighbor and best friend since preschool. Aiden; Yellow Jacket Quarterback for Rockport High. Aiden; the guy of my dreams. The guy who would never know exactly how I felt about him. A relationship between myself and Aiden would be destined for disaster. Well, actually, I didn't know that quite for sure. But, if Aiden and I tried to make a relationship work between us, it would have screwed up our lifelong friendship, and I was in no way prepared for abandonment. I, Hannah Dampton, would never be able to survive a loss like losing Aiden. 2

Aiden Monroe was my lifeline. Without him, I would have given up in my most dire times of need. He was so important to me and I knew, that no matter what I did, he would always be in my heart; forever and for always. That is why, the morning that I got the call, I didn't know how exactly I would deal with it.3

Aiden Monroe had gotten killed by a gang called Massacre. And a massacre it was.4

Aiden, my hero, had been walking home from my house... right next door. I had fallen asleep, and my parents weren't home. They trusted Aiden and me together, so it was no big deal. They knew I wasn't capable of having a boyfriend. Anyways, apparently Aiden had been attacked outside of my house. His blood and body were found downtown in someone's trash can. On his chest was carved the initial mark of Massacre; A giant "M" with a circle around it. There were gun shot wounds in his stomach and shoulder... which meant he didn't die instantly. And there was a dead body found twenty feet away... Someone who bore the green bandanna of Massacre. There were other clues that had made it obvious that Aiden had fought back. 5

In the next week, my bedroom had become my life. I had bundled up in my blankets on my bed --despite the warm June weather-- and the fan was always on low. I was not suicidal, as some may have thought in that time period. You should know what I'm talking about if you have ever had that horrible shock that changed your life; that shock that left you emotionless. No one ever understood what I was going through during that first week without Aiden. Without my Aiden. No one would ever get how I felt... or so I thought. 6

Mom and Dad had sent plenty of people to talk to me-- to try and get what I was feeling out of me-- but I wasn't feeling anything. The numbness was slowly taking over my whole body and mind. The Thursday night after The Call (The Call occurred on The Friday before), there was a knock on my bedroom door. I ignored it, knowing that whomever it may be, Mom, Dad, or even my sister from California, would leave my food outside my door and I would grab it whenever they left the house. There was something going on today. Something that had to do with The Friday, but I couldn't quite think about it. I was having one of The Memories. I didn't quite notice when someone from my Computer Tech class walked into my bedroom with a bowl-of-something in his hands. My partner, Nick Barucchi. I had no idea what the hell my parents were thinking, but it wouldn't be the first time they sent someone completely random into this poor-excuse-for-a-girl's bedroom.7

Nick looked down at me, a little freaked out at first about probably how I looked right now. I hadn't really looked in a mirror in a week or so and haven't changed more than three times. I had been wearing this particular "outfit" for two days. Before I could turn around and do what I did best, (ignoring), Nick placed the bowl that smelled so good on the bedside table and sat on the edge of my bed, looking at me.8

"What?" My monster-like voice asked.9

"Hannah... I wanted to talk to you about Aiden M--" He stopped talking then because as I began to hear The Name, a reflex alarm went off in my head, causing the automatic movement of my arms resulting in the covering of my head.10

"Sorry," Nick said, apologetically.11

"Sorry for what," the monster replied, "That the social outcast lost everything she had, or for mentioning the 'everything the aforementioned social outcast lost'?12

"Both..." He said, trailing off. I looked up at his face, wondering what he wanted. My hunger was clawing at the insides of my belly and I wanted to eat whatever was being offered in that bowl that was giving off that sweet aroma of chicken broth. Chicken Noodle Soup was my favorite. Aiden's favorite. Our favorite. "But I wanted to let you know that you're not the only one to have experienced a loss like this... I lost my little brother Frankie to Massacre a year and a half ago."13

"Really?" I blurted, surprising the monster that usually croaked back answers to my unwelcome visitors.14

"Yes, really... and I know that laying around like this isn't going to help you feel better about anything whatsoever," I rolled my eyes, remembering the numbness, but he ignored it and continued, "You are going to feel angry after the depression. You're going to blame anyone you can for his death and then you are going to deny that he ever existed. That's what will happen if you don't go to his funeral. You will live with the regret of never saying your last goodbyes and I don't want to see you dealing with that regret. Please, Hannah."15

I almost smacked myself in the head. Of course. It was Aiden's funeral tonight. That is what The Friday had to do with tonight. I jumped up and saw my panic reflected in Nick's eyes.16

"I-I forgot about the f-funeral," I said, choking up, "I c-c-can't forget about h-him. He w-would never forgive m-m-me!" I started to get up, throwing clothes around, looking for black, looking for anything decent that would be suitable for my final goodbyes to my best friend. I was almost hysteric, and I felt someone's hands on my wrists.17

"Shhh..." Nick's gentle voice said. All of a sudden I threw myself at Nick and hugged him. I cried into him for at least twenty minutes, forgetting where I was and forgetting what Nick must be thinking. I only thought about who I wanted the most at that moment. Aiden.