I was standing at the kitchen sink when the car pulled onto the rock driveway. The crunch of the tires was heard through the closed windows.1
I had laid both hands flat against the rim of the sink. My nails were clean of soil. I had scrubbed them thoroughly. I hoped my face didn't give away my time in the garden.2
Nolan should know better then forbid me from the garden. Plunging my hands deep into the earth helped keep me connected to nature. I guess that's what happens when you marry a christian. Also the fresh air and physical movement were good fro my condition. I was healthy and could do the things I did before I was pregnant. I suppose the idea of a new baby made him overprotective.3
It was odd. This wasn't Nolan's first child. He had two from a previous marriage. Beautiful, blond Suzanne was turning seven in two months and precocious, dark haired Calder would be five three month after Suzanne. Sometimes babies did strange things to grown men. I stifled a laugh.4
I watched out the kitchen window, newly washed yesterday. The sun still shone bright, reflecting daggers of light into my eyes.5
The hum of the modern side-by-side refrigerator played background music to this strange waiting game.6
Behind me sat a small circular table. Nolan and I had sat there this morning, arguing baby names. The dark wood gleamed from the sun of the skylight we had installed. There were only two chairs, but we were panning to acquire more.7
The doors of the cabinets were missing. I had my heart set upon glass doors.8
When the thick, yellow dust thinned, a dark sedan sat in my drive. It's windshield reflected the waning afternoon light, shading the driver from my sight. I didn't know the make or model, that was Nolan's thing. But I knew this wasn't Nolan. He wasn't due, back until later.9
Comments
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You know how I'm hooked on this so I'm not going to go on too much.
Only two little things:
Pg 3 "good fro" - do you mean good for?
Pg 7 -"panning to acquire more" - planning???
Now onto the next part
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O.O i am loving every minute of reading this!you make the situation so believable and you keep the reader interested with your cliff-hangers.
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Suspision.....
I like the character thats pregnant, she gives a suspicous feeling to readers. Can't wait to read what happens next! -
Hey Brooke,
I went back and read the previous parts of this story and there seem to be some inconsistencies.
In the first part of this story, when the couple was talking to the real estate guy, the husbands name was Doug. In this part you call him Nolan.
In the second part you had the woman rubbing her belly and saying that it looked like daddy was home and in this part you have her thinking that she knew it wasn't her husband because he wasn't expected until later.
Also in this part it seems like some of the paragraphs need to be placed differently for continuity.
In para4 she's thinking about their children and then again in para8 she thinks about sitting at the table with her husband discussing baby names. Seems like those two should be together.
Para6 Seems like this para should be before para5
The big thing I noticed was there was no smell in any of the parts.
You might want to go back through this and straighten it out
Steve
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Wow, you are right
Ok, hopefully I have fixed the inconsistenies and changed some of the paragraphs around. Let me know if it works better this way 
Thanks for the read and for pointing those out.
Brooke
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