I Can't Love You, but I Do

December 221

I can't stand Lenny Williams any longer. The way he laughs that deep voice, the way he playfully taps me on the shoulder, the way he dies his hair multiple colors just to tick me off, oh, it just makes me so annoyed. I just found out earlier today that he was invited to my best friend, Shelby's, Christmas party in two days. Apparently those two are like really tight, but I'm not sure how that even is possible. She's just so awesome, and he's just so... ugh. I can't stand it.2

December 233

Wow, I can't believe it. Wow. Wow. Wow. Apparently, when Shelby and I were at the mall shopping for our presents, Lenny called her and asked her out. I begged and begged her to reject him. "No, he's so hot!" she said with a smile. What the hell? He is probably the most hideous thing I have ever seen, and I've told him that at least a dozen times. He ruined my time with my friend. For the rest of the day all she talked about was HIM and went in a thousand stores trying to find him a nice outfit. All of the ones he normally had looked like someone had barfed all over them. Tomorrow is going to suck.4

December 245

I wrapped all of the presents in my room, mostly for my mom, dad, and baby brother, Steven. Finally, at six, I carried my presents for Shelby and my boyfriend, Chase, out to my car and drove to her huge house. It had Christmas decorations hung all over it as the snow glistened against the windows. What a beautiful night it had been.6

I greeted Shelby with a hug and Chase with a smooch, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I know I got you the best present," I whispered, then kissing him on the cheek. When we were about to kiss, Shelby and Lenny interrupted us with arms around each other's shoulders. 7

"Jeez, you guys couldn't even have done it under the mistletoe toe!" he joked, taking a sip of his egg knob. I could see the embarrassed look in my man's eyes as well as mine. He despised him just as much as I did; we both regretted even kissing around him. Lenny put his Santa hat on and started dancing with Shelby to 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree' quickly. 8

Later on that night we started to open presents. I had received a new outfit from Hollister from Shelby, a diamond necklace from Chase, and a whoopie cushion from Lenny. Give me a break! "You're kidding me," I said, as I unwrapped his present. "You got me a-"9

"Fart machine thingy. Now you have an excuse when you let one rip!" Shelby giggled at his cheesy joke and told him how much she loved him, while Chase and I rolled our eyes in disgust. We continued to exchange our gifts, and when Lenny got his gift, he was amazed. I accidentally put my cologne for Chase in the wrong wrapper and gave it to Lenny instead. My boyfriend was a bit confused when he got an electric pack of gum.10

"How could you?" Shelby questioned angrily, clutching his hand. "This is MY boyfriend! I thought you loved Chase! What the hell is wrong with you?!"11

I tried to explain but she would not listen. Chase was so dumb that he just replied, "Why am I supposed to love this?" 12

I was kicked out of the party and kicked out of our friendship. It turned into an awful night, and the worst part was, well, she'll probably never forgive me. I sat on her patio step crying all night in the freezing cold, getting my sparkly dress all damp. I was mad at Chase, too. While his "lover" was outside freezing her ass off, he partied like an animal with somebody he hated and my old best friend. After about three hours of that, Lenny came outside slowly and sadly. "She broke up with me," he mumbled, sitting next beside me. "I can't believe it. I really loved her."13

I just stared at him, with my emerald eyes widening. I don't know where I ever went wrong with him. His formal tuxedo and plaid tie also looked pretty sexy, let alone from his wet dark green hair. A shiver went down my spine hard as I said, "Maybe all you need is a hug." And that's what I got, holding him deeply in the moonlight, not caring if Chase or Shelby saw me from the room. They were probably doing the same thing, to say the very least. I had always knew he had a thing for her, just like I knew there was always something there for Lenny and I. And it was special.14

Tears streamed down my cheek like a river as he wiped them off with his wrist. "Lenny..." I started with my teeth chattering. I could not bare it any longer. I was cold, in love, and heart broken all at the same time. So that's what I did what I did. I kissed him emotionally, not regretting a second of it until later. 15

"Will you be my g-girl?"16

I grinned widely and put my small hand through his hair. "No," I told him with a giggle. "Let's just be friends."17

"But I think I love you!"18

"Oh yeah, Lennybear? Well I KNOW I love you."19

"Wha-"20

I just pulled his face away from mine and completely stopped. I loved the sense of confusion on his face as his eyebrows narrowed. "I can't love you, but I know I do," I finished romantically.21