Truely Happy

Or the past two years, I had spent my days watching my father drink his nights away. Ever since mom ran off with another man, things had been going downhill. I couldn’t blame her because I would want to leave this hell whole myself at any means possible. At only 13 I had experienced the good, the bad, and the sad. More sad and bad then good, but something today had triggered me. 1

Coming home, my dad was on the couch probably with a hangover from all the drinking he had been doing. It had looked as if he hadn’t token a shower in a few days. There were about 1 to 15 empty beer cans surrounding him (and he wondered (WHEN HE WAS SOBER) why i didn’t want friends over here!). I said hello and…..2

Nothing……… I mean usually he would say something, grunt or something, but there was nothing. Maybe it wasn’t just a hangover! I went closer “Dad? Dad? Hello Dad?” He still didn’t answer.  I went and you could tell he wasn’t breathing. I was thinking the worse, but I wasn’t sure so……. I put my head to his chest and……  HE WAS DEAD!3

I was freaked out. For one I just touched a dead man. And two, what was I going to do? I had no mom, no dad, hell an alcoholic dad was better than none, and they were both gone. What would become of me?!?!4

I panicked and called 911. I guessed he died of alcohol poisoning, they told me just wait. I hung up the hone and stared. I was hysterically crying. I just knelled beside him holding his had…crying. Soon couldn’t stop shaking. I had to get away from this. I went upstairs not touching myself, my hands just made it worse. He was still on them. I scrubbed them until I was red. 5

NO! THIS couldn’t be the last memory I had of my dad! I wished that he would get better and we could have a normal family, just me and him. No, this couldn’t be happening. My tears wouldn’t stop, I started thinking.  What would I do? I was an orphan! I had nowhere to go. I didn’t want to get bounced around form one foster home to the next, and the next one worse than the last…. I wouldn’t be able to handle that! 6

I went into my room and curled up into a ball, a wet delirious ball. The paramedics still weren’t here and I was getting worse by the second. I got back up and went into my restrooms and got some of the pain killers I had from when I broke my leg and the pain would get so unbearable.7

I popped the last 20 or so in my mouth and swallowed. I walked unsurely to my moms old room, put on my favorite dress she got me before she left; it meant a lot to me, and waited. Soon, everything was going blank and I could barley even hear the faint of sirens in the distance, then is went BLACK……..8

I WAS TRULY HAPPY THEN9