Fade In: SCHMIDT HOUSE where BOB and DEANNE are pacing back and forth with worry1
Cut to: Manito Park, duck pond where CHRISTY is absent2
CAMERA ANGLE: Camera pans around the spot she had been sitting and a faint image of her appears showing CHRISTY sitting with her knees to her chest and looking up straight at the Camera then the image fades away and the empty spot remains3
Cut to: SCHMIDT HOUSE4
BOB: Where is she?5
DEANNE: Like I know (getting tense and beginging to point fingers) She's your daughter!6
BOB: she's yours now too! 7
DEANNE: You should be able to keep her under control8
Background: CHRISTY silently creeps in the house and hides behind the wall that seperates the kitchen from the living room where she hides9
DEANNE (cont.): That girl is like a wild animal...keep her on a leash or something! 10
BOB: I would never...11
DEANNE frustrated: I'm not saying literaly! Send her to boot camp or something! That is the third damn time she has run away... first from her mom's, then last month..not to mention she broke the hinge on the screen door from slamming it, (she takes a breath) and now...12
FLASHBACK:no sound CHRISTY the month before sits on her bed looking at the ground as BOB paces back and forth angerly watching her and scolding her, CHRISTY's cell phone in the background. BOB turns to leave when the CELLPHONE lites up, BOB rounds on his daughter as she grabs the phone answers it and says quickly even thought not being able to be heard "Not now! Not now!" then Hanging up, BOB glares at CHRISTY and makes a grab for the phone. CHRISTY gives a good fight, ducking his frantic grabs and jumping all over the room then making a dash for the door where he blocks her then pushes her to her bed and pins her to it hard while she still won't give up the phone and stuffs it between the bed and the wall but he won't stop pressing her to the bed until he grabs the phone from her, gets off and storms out the door. CHRISTY chases after 13
cut to (still flashback): CHRISTY running out the front door and tries to slam the screen but insteads breaks the hinge so the door waves hoplessy but she runs14
background: Christy has stood up now with a look of disgust on her face15
(sound has returned)16
CHRISTY in an angery manner: and now I'm here.... go ahead send me to boot camp! I'll just run away... (glares at DEANNE who has a stunned look glued to her face) That's what I'm famous for around this house is'nt it?17
(BOB is looking at his daughter)18
BOB: Christy...come here19
(he opens his arms and CHRISTY takes her time walking to him, knowing she is just getting more on DEANNE's nerves)20
CHRISTY hugging her dad: I'm sorry dad...I realy....21
BOB cutting her off: Don't be sorry... I would never send you too boot camp hunny... 22
(He shoots a venomus look at DEANNE who is amazed at her husbands hostility)23
DEANNE: fine...sorry24
BOB trying to get his daughters mind off of what just happened: Wanna open your presents?25
CHRISTY smiling: sure!26
(DEANNE follows the two into the living room where CHRISTY immediatly kneels down next to the tree and grabs a small present)27
(CHRISTY unwraps the present to find a shoe box filled with little green stirofoam peices and pulls out 5 CDS)28
Cut to: 15 minutes later29
(CHRISTY walks over to the biggest box that is about waist high)30
CHRISTY ripping off wrapping paper and discovering a TV box: It isn't a new T.V is it...31
CHRISTY gets to the taped part and while still staring at it says in a doctor like tone: Siccors32
(DEANNE quickly gets an exsacto knife and hands it to her)33
CHRISTY smiles and slits the tape on both sides and top of box34
CAMERA ANGLE: Pan left making a profile on CHRISTY and her box35
(CHRISTY looks in the box)36
CHRISTY screaming in excitement: It's a new T.V! Hell yeah!37
(she jumps in a circle, rubs her eyes and looks back in the box unbelevingly then jumps up and down again)38
Cut to: CHRISTY's ROOM where everything is spread out on her bed... 5 CD's, 5 DVD's, a new sterio, dart board, portable CD player and the T.V sits where th old one use to39
(CHRISTY smiling walks to the camera and every sound fades out exsept her)40
CHRISTY: Well I hope you had a good Christmas... I did at the end but It's not about the presents...It's about the love shared. And as Kris Kringle says... Merry Christmas to all, and too all Goodnight41
CAMERA ANGLE: fades out as BOB and DEANNE come into room and sit on her bed and they laugh as BOB tries to figure out the T.V and CHRISTY snatches the remote from him and hits the "ON" button. The camera pans out on the brick residence of the SCHMIDTS for a few second42
fade out43
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Writing a good script, there are some important common writing characteristics that readers assume also apply to the script: vagueness or clarity; conciseness vs. verbosity; boldness or weakness. It may not be fair, but it happens. They can presume your script is like your letter, so make sure you're conveying the impression you want.
How you handle constructive criticism is equally important as writing a good script.
