I....... am a racoon.1
Yeah. Deal with it. This is a racoon speaking.2
You know, those little fury gray and black things that always seem to cause trouble?3
The ones with the cute little mask over they're eyes and the needles for claws?4
Yah. Thats me.5
I am now sitting in a tree staring down at the worlds biggest loser.6
A human boy. Aka, an idiot.7
Now, not all humans are idiots, and not even all guys are idiots. But this one takes the top of the list.8
At the moment, he is throwing pine cones at me, trying to get me down.9
Yeah. Like thats gonna happen.10
"Hiiiiisss! Chitter-chir-it-it-it!" i yell back at him.11
"Dude! Check this out! There's a cat stuck up in the tree!"12
Great. He just called me a cat. Do I look like a cat? No. I don't think so. 13
Oh, joy now some off his 'buddies' have come over to 'help me down from the tree'.14
All I can do is Hang here, pray I don't fall down, and glare and glower at the idiot humans below me.15
Thus, the pitifull life of a racoon.16
Author notes
I. Have. No. Idea.
WHERE THE HECK THIS CAME FROM!
I guess ever since i saw those guys torturing that poor creature with various missiles, i've had a soft spot for racoons. Yah.
x3 ..... i htink its offcial. I'm insane.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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i agree with Drakire. WRITE MORE FUNNY STUFF!!!! i was literally on the floor during and after i read this from the moment i read "i...... am a racoon." to "thus, the pitiful life of a racoon". it was so dang awesome. FOR THE SECOND TIME, WRITE MORE FUNNY STUFF!!! this was absolutely amazing...
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VERY FUNNY WRITE MORE FUNNY STUFF
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LOL!!!
SOMETHING FUNNY AND NOT DARK!!! I SHALL LIVE!!! Kidding. This is great Steph! You should write more stuff like this! 
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Well, well, well! So you can write humorous! And you are good at it too! I can almost relate to that poor creature...except I wasn't in a tree trying to get down. It was the other way around!
I did not mean for that to rhyme! 
What?! I didn't!!! Honest!!! Stop looking at me that way!!!
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