Ah, Twilight. How Lovely. (rant)

Alright, what can I say? I read Twilight, and I actually liked it. It was good when I read it when it first came out. How long has it been? Like 3 or 4 years? It was good. Then as the other books came, I read those too. Not as good, but they were okay. At my school, 1 popular guy read the series. Yes, popular GUY. So immediately all the little girls who thought he was absolutely gorgeous started to read the series. And that's when the torture began.1

Every where you went, "OMG TWILIGHT!", "OMG EDWARD IS SO HOT!!!", and "TEAM JACOB/TEAM EDWARD!!!!!!11" Sad isn't it? I tried to tolerate it. Tried to ignore because even though the Twilight series wasn't AMAZING, it was okay. Then news about the movie began. ._.2

1. Robert Pattinson3

HE IS NOT HOT/SEXY/GORGEOUS/ORGASMIC or anything you crazed fans believe he is. In fact, you wouldn't of known who the hell he was if not for Twilight. Did you know he played Cedric Digory in Harry Potter: The Goblet of Fire? Probably not. Harry Potter in my opinion is better than Twilight. Yet no one seemed to remember Cedric. Poor dude, he's murdered then forgotten. I hate walking around school and hearing the little girls talk about the New Moon movie coming up. "Omg I can't wait to see Edward! He's soooooo dreamy." THAT'S NOT EDWARD! That's a man PLAYING the part of Edward. There's a major difference. K?4

2. Kristen Stewart5

Oh god, this topic. I love it when I hear all the little girls screaming, "F*ck, Bella! She's a skank/whore/b*tch/etc." Guess what? I know Kristen isn't a very good actor and she sounds like a monotonous, overly-obsessed doll, but she's still a person! (Hahahahahaha I made a funny :]) People are constantly having fits because Kristen is Bella and she gets to touch Robert Pattinson (he's not fecking Edward!). Give the girl a break! I think if she knew that there would be crazed, violent fans, she might not have taken the part. I know I wouldn't of. Getting harassed by loud and obnoxious females isn't really on my "I Want This To Happen" list. Sorry!6

3. Taylor Lautner7

Actually, I don't have anything bad to say about him. I watched him in Shark Boy and Lava Girl. I liked him. Plus he's really cute. He did good. But just because I like him, doesn't mean I'm going to go all, "OH EM EF GEE, TEAM JACOB!!!!!!1" No, it's not going to happen, EVER. 8

4. OVERLY OBSESSED/CRAZED FANS9

I have something important to say to all of you....GET A LIFE! It's a friggin' book for Pete's sake. Who cares?! Oh Bella this, Edward that, Jacob OH EM GEE! It's irritating and makes you sound like a pathetic child. Some people are more obsessed than Bella is of Edward. Sad isn't it? Guess what, about 99% of those fans will NEVER meet the Twilight cast. So get over it. Someone doesn't like Twilight? DO NOT BOTHER THEM. It's their own opinion and nothing you say is going to change it. Scratch that, you bothering the crap out of them is probably going to make them hate Twilight even more. Some girls in my Health Team Relations class were talking about Twilight (note that they were both wearing Team Edward shirts), and I mentioned that I didn't like it all that much anymore. (Plus I said Edward sucked because he isn't a true vampire. He's a damned pixie with his sparkles, so I prefer Jacob.) Well, they attacked me (verbally of course). All because I stated my opinion. Well,.....SCREW YOU! LAST TIME I CHECKED I LIVED IN AMERICA! IT'S FRIGGIN' CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, SUCK MY BIG TOE. 10

5. Vampires DO NOT Sparkle11

I think this right here, pissed me off the most. I love vampires and I love werewolves. I own an original copy of Bram Stoker's "Dracula", yeah I love them. And last time I checked, vampires NEVER sparkled. What the hell?! Honestly! Sparkles make them pixies, not vamps. Therefore the Cullen clan is a bunch of pixies. Stephenie Meyer honestly ruined a lot of people's images on vampires. Girls at my school believe that is he doesn't sparkle, he's not a vampire. A lot of my stories have vampires in them. I AM NOT ABOUT TO MAKE THEM SPARKLE YOU DAMNED FREAKS! Jeesh! My stories are NOT filled with pansies. No matter what you say. K?12

I don't know what else to say. I might go back to this and add something to it. Who knows. I just don't like the pixie Edward, Edward junkie Bella, and annoying estrogen filled fans. It sucks how a good book completely died because of the obsessions of annoying people, isn't it? Although, some people never liked the books to begin with. I did, until people went crazy. :]

Author notes

Breathless

Now, I know a lot of people are probably going to comment this with, "OH YOU BITCH YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!111" Guess what? I DON'T FRIGGIN CARE! My opinion, my rant! Get your head out of you ass and get a life.

Another thing, not all Twilight fans are psychos. Just saying. lol

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • ELFgirl12 silver member
    November 14
    ?
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    A+

    GREAT job! Honestly, I liked the Twilight series at first too, and I agree with pretty much every single thing you said in that rant. Thumbs up for you, and thanks for entering my contest!

    Points:
    ...Punctuation.................. 5/5
    ...Grammar...................... 8/8
    ...Spelling..................... 7/7
    ...Hatred Expressed............. 20/20
    ...Creative Title............... 9/10
    ...Between 500 and 3000 words... 15/15
    ...Content...................... 35/35
    Bonus Points
    In Anti-Twilight Lovers Group:..................5
    Written like a hate letter to Stephenie Meyer...0
    Uses examples of errors from the book/movie.....1
    Longer than 1000 words..........................0

    Your grade is 100% + 6% = 106%

    Good luck in my contest!

    -Ellie


  • seasonsoflove
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Honestly, I am a Twilight fan. Not a crazed fan (the twilight movie SUCKED) but a fan nonetheless.

    And when you can get a Twilight fan to agree, you know you've done a good rant. Congrats!! haha

    A lot of good points in here. I agree completely. Obsession over a FICTIONAL character is never healthy. haha

    I'm leaving the sparkley vamps comment alone. I'm a huge fan of Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire series (i might be a little obsessive there, regardless of the stupidity, sorry. haha) and think that the idea of a sparkling vampire is stupid. Maybe that's just me. lol

    Great rant you've got here!!

  • ModWolfVince
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with you on this!I loved Twilight until everyone became obsessed, i was the only person at my school to have read it, then BAM the movies came and everyones obsessed!
    And just about the sparkle part, Stephenie Meyer is a Mormon, that was part of the reason why she changed the whole dark, sexy vampire thing
    but i still agree that VAMPIRE'S DON'T SPARKLE!He should be dead, burnt to a crisp!
    lol, nice rant
    p.s....i have the 1st 3 books in special edition, but im actually afraid to buy Breaking Dawn Special Edition for fear of being classed a 'twi-hard'!!
    Luckily I've already read all 4 books many times over


  • CactusJack silver member
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    Cute typical Twilight rant. Not much else to say.
    Oh, I think his name is Robert not Edward (who's obsessed? )


  • August Rein
    November 4
    Edit | Reply
    LOL, I guess I'm not the only one who knows that vampires do not sparkle. Meh, it's true. Look at Dracula.

  • I completely agree with this. Those stupid fucking fan-girls are going to drive me up the bloody pole...Kill them all, I say.

    I'm actually glad I found this. I'll have to make copies and sneak them into people's mailboxes at night... Hahahahahaha. And you're right; VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE!


    • Breathless
      November 1
      Edit | Reply
      Hahahahahahaha!!!! That would be awesome! People would freak when they find it in their mailboxes!!! xD


  • IceCrystal7
    November 1

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    Hahahahaha !! omg I was laughing during the entire time! You've really hit the nail on the head with this one! And I thoroughly applaud you for it!!!! Good on ya!


  • Poopa Thug
    October 31

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    It amuses me that...

    there is a twilight ad on the sidebar right now. Its very fitting. That being said, I have never read the Twilight series but I do think it is a bit retarded the way people act about the characters and even more so because the actors themselves didn't like it. Anyway I don't really hate on the author cause all she was doing was writing the story she wanted, if she compromised that then I would think lesser of her as an author. It isn't a big deal to me if an author turns vampires into pixies because.... it is a story they can make anything they want. They can make roses giant demon monsters yet no one complains about that. Anyway I liked your rant.


  • Kimi-san
    October 31

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    Oh my god!! I totally agree with you 100%! Finnally someone who has the same opinion as me!!! I love you! I used to like twilight too until people got all crazy and what not over it. I even got a tee shirt before the movie came out and it got SUPER popular. But after a while it got annoying about the crazed fan things. They were like: "Oh Edward is soo sexy" in the movie. No! He is ugly! He has a butt chin, beady eyes, and monsterus catapiler eyebrows!!! I didnt picture him that way at all. In my mind he was much more beautiful... in fact waaay more beautiful! It was such a dissapointment I stoped reading the book and I was on the firs one. Bella is ... well lets face it, not that great looking. Maybe if she sanded down thoes buck teeth in the front she would look better when she opened her mouth to speak. I mean... I have big front teeth but jeez!!! Am I the only one who noticed that? And Vampires most deffinatly DO NOT SPARKLE!!! That screams gay vampire! Not that I have a problem with a gay vampire , its just very degrading for a vampire to sparkle. It deminishes the meaning of a blood suking, hissing, killing beauty of a monster. Yeah they can smell good and have the most beautiful pale skin ever but as soon as they sparkle its ALL over! NO... no no no.


  • aniahx
    October 31

    Edit | Reply

    LOL

    I laughed the whole time I was reading this. Just a question though, would you still feel the same way if people obsessed about your story the same way they do with Twilight? I'm just curious.


    • Breathless
      October 31
      Edit | Reply
      I think I'd hate my own work if I was attacked like that. Lol

  • You go girl *snaps fingers*

    But yeah, despite those crazed fans, I liked the plot, but not the grammar

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