Under The Stars

1

Take a moment to stare into the skies2

She had been sitting alone at the wooden bench for half and hour. The night was chilling and cool, a light breeze drifting through the gardens. The cherry trees from the back whispered silently as the rustling of leaves, sounds of crickets and hoots of night owls made up the sweet melody of the night. Smiling softly, she tinkered with the bead bracelet dangling from her right wrist. It had been a habit of hers to do so ever since she had received it, and she had never really taken it off.3

Is there only darkness you see?4

The loud noise of light chatter, laughter and sounds of chewing echoed faintly in the distance. The smell of burning charcoal and grilled steak was strong enough to reach her, even after she had chosen a shaded and secluded spot rather far from the West side of the garden, nearly directly opposite the party. Thick black smoke wafted through the night sky, stars grazing the blackness and the moon glistening brightly as though a round piercing light in the dark.5

You want to close your eyes6

The soft padding of footsteps alerted her to the company that had arrived. Clad in a light sweatshirt and jeans, the midnight-haired heir to the Harrison fortune nodded at her, stopping several feet away. Nivana couldn't help the smile that had found it's way to her lips, cerulean eyes glimmering in the dark as she studied the dark silhoutte leaning against the tree. Although he was nothing but a faint shadow to her eyes, she would have recognised him even if he were miles away.7

But blink and you'll miss me8

"You're missing the party, Vincent." She stated, an almost invisible gleam in her eye. Dark blonde strands framed her pale features, the pink of her lips pulling into a small smirk. Her delicate fingers left the bracelet as she stared at him. "Your party, actually. It's rude for the host to leave his guests unattended." She added. He didn't answer, but she didn't mind. He had never been one for many words, but his charmingly good looks had always made up for his lack of social skills. She was one of the only people who could truly understand him, and they communicated in their own way.9

So just come a little closer10

He shrugged. "Bored." He muttered. Her face conjured a look of disbelief as she rolled her eyes. She had left him and her friends in a state of loud guffaws, and she was quite sure he wouldn't have gotten over it so easily. She smiled softly at him, a feature she saved for this one person only. Sometimes he wondered what he had ever done to deserve her friendship, as he sat beside her silently. After all he'd done to her in the beginning, she had stuck by him to crack the dreary mask he'd created, when others would have either given up or been reduced to tears by his disdainful character. She'd showed him a different side of life, introduced him to friends he'd actually managed to keep.11

Take those words to a whisper12

"There are fireworks later." He stated simply, his obsidian eyes darting to catch a glimpse of her. A thrill raced through him, as it did every single time he saw her. Her smile turned into a grin of delight. In the deep pits of his stomach, he felt a sense of satisfaction. He never well understood the reason as to why, but every single moment spent with the bubbly blonde girl felt like heart-warming, earth-shattering bliss. It never seemed possible, it was so much more surreal. He had always been quiet, secretive, never gave a damn  of anyone. And yet, he wondered how he had managed to fall for those baby blue eyes, the toe-curling smile and the bell-like laugh.13

Finally learning to taste laughter14

Timidly, she wound her small fingers through his hand. With a shyness so unlike her, she gazed up at him through the curtains of her eyes. He had an unreadable look upon his face and for a moment she feared she'd broke the barrier. Then she felt calloused fingers intwine with hers, and she hid a smile at the contact, feeling like tingling static had raced up her arm. "You didn't come because you were bored," she mumbled indignantly, resting her head on his shoulder as she stiffled a yawn. He stiffened for a moment, before relaxing slowly.15

And strangely I'm no longer bitter16

"I came here to watch the fireworks. I didn't know I'd find you here." He lied smoothly, his eyes dancing in amusement at the unladylike snort the girl beside him gave. She saw through him far too easily than he would have liked, but he didn't mind. The close contact between them had left him breathless, his eyes casting darkly. He watched the beautiful girl beside him with a boy's adoration and a man's admiration, the scent of lilacs in her hair addicting. She was a lot stronger than many people took her for, never once did she shed a tear when she had been abused and kicked out of her own house. She showed up at his house in the middle of the night in tatters, and yet held her dignity. She felt more an orphan than she let on, would have transfered to a cheaper school had he not had helped, although she had refused at first. And yet, in the cold night by the warm of the fire they would sometimes sit together like they did now, though never this close, and enjoy the company.17

All those words unspoken between us18

Sparks flew into the sky as Nivana gasped in delight, eyes towards the beautiful night. Colours adorned the blackness, making it seemed to glow as he laid back on the bench and enjoyed the sight that held the girl on his right mesmerized.19

All those things I've wanted to say20

"Hey, you still keep that bracelet?" His surprised stare brought her back to the ground. It had been months since he had given it to her. Most woudn't have guessed, but it took him hours to pick it out. He practically drove to every store in the town. Mostly to goldsmiths, because he could afford it. But when he saw it there, he just knew that it was better than any gold he could've gotten. Besides, he had reasoned, she would have turned down anything so expensive. She smiled at him and nodded. "Of course," she answered, grinning her sweet charming grin. "It's beautiful, thank you so much for giving it to me." He shrugged, but her grin only got wider. The ways she knew him, he couldn't count.21

Let's give it a chance to fill that silence22

Nivana loved the moments she would sit with him, even if a word was never exchanged. It didn't matter, because he never really spoke much anyway. Also, because she could read him like nobody else could. Sometimes she wondered why on Earth she had bothered trying to be friends with the stuck-up heir in the first place, though she had never regretted it. All the while he had pushed her away until she'd finally earned his trust, when she finally saw the soul in him. He wasn't the type of person she usually liked, because of her own personality. And although she was different from the obsessive girls who were head over heels mad over him, sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if there was any difference between her and them.23

"Niva?" Said the soft voice beside her, suddenly overcome by a timidness he was unfamiliar with.24

"Yeah?"25

The wealthy heir seemed to find himself struggling for words. If it were anyone else, he would have confidently gone through with this, knowing any girl would have said yes. But she was different, she wasn't one of those money-crazed girls. Nivana meant something to him, and he had taken this long to realize that he did care for her. A lot more than he had thought. And on top of that, the way he felt protective of her well being whenever she was alone, the way he'd find himself having that strange burning sensation everytime she talked with some other guy, the way he felt when she would smile all for him, made sense. Because he was...in love with her. And it had taken him this long to realize it.26

A startling chemistry glowed and burned in his chest, feeling so overwhelming he might have choked on it. The way she looked that night, the static that raced up his arm when they'd touch and the way she had always cared and been there for him drove him to the edge of love. Her concerned gaze found him out of his thoughts as he uttered two simple words.27

"Be mine."28

She looked up at him, nothing but two passionate eyes in the midst of her glowing pale features. The touch of her gentle kiss was all the answer he needed as he pulled her into his embrace.29

So just look up to the stars, find that love you've been searching for...

Author notes

My first attempt at a proper happy love story. It took me a frickin two hours and my back is aching. I am praying that the read was worth my effort.

Please comment, I'm more experimenting with this genre.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    November 10
    ?
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    First attempt???
    Can't be!! You're lying to the Lady Pixie

    In all seriousness, this was really good. Very richly detailed and a beautiful story. The emotions were done nicely and not over-the-top, and I liked the bolded- in between lines that you added in as well. My only suggestion would be to go in and add some punctuation with those, but that's only a suggestion that you're free to use or not.

    P7: Nivana couldn't help the smile that had found it's way to her lips, cerulean eyes glimmering in the dark as she studied the dark silhoutte leaning against the tree.

    its (no apostrophe)

    Overall, this was a wonderful and astounding read. Thank you very much for your entry in the contest.

    Pixie


    • CallMeWhenUrRich
      November 11
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Hehe, thank you so much for the compliment. But yes, it is indeed my first attempt at a happy love story. Most of the ones I write are very tragic and serious, but it was very fun trying something different for a change. I suppose it's because of the happy love stories I like to read. While I can't write them (At least I thought so), they're very enjoyable.

      Thank you so much for the trophy, I have to say I did not expect it in the least! Also, for the wonderful comment!!!


  • HaydenLautner
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Jealous much!! Gosh, of course I am, this story was so perfect, and sweet. Just astonishingly beautiful.

    The rich imagery you used in the first two chapters completely drew me in, I could feel and sense the scenarion, if that makes sense it felt like I was there and I was wtching everything.

    The names secondly were very well chosen, this felt like a olden type of romance and yet you picked two names I would have picked if I was writing fantasy, and they suited them perfectly well, it gave them the characteristics of old souls.

    Thirdly, I really love the bold subheadings that you used, it was very original, and it went very well with every paragraph written.

    And finally, the background was chosen perfectly for this story.

    If it wasn't noticable, I absolutely loved everything about this story. It could not have been written more perfectly. It was flaweless, and beautiful.

    The emotions felt and the characters were real, and well developed.

    Astonishing. You should write more stories of this type.. Amazing, I loved it..

    Thank you so much for the entry..

    • CallMeWhenUrRich
      November 7

      Edit | Reply
      Hehe, it was my pleasure. Thank you soo much for the comment and the trophy, I didn't expect it at all! Thank you!!!


  • Melancholic Smile
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly beautiful I loved the single bold lines between each paragraph, they added something to it that pulled it all together, almost like single lines from a poem. It was a sweet love tale but what really brought it to life was the way you wrote it. It was full of imagery, wonderful descriptions such as 'Nivana couldn't help the smile that had found it's way to her lips, cerulean eyes glimmering in the dark as she studied the dark silhoutte leaning against the tree.' in para 7. That was a beautiful line. I only noticed one tiny typo in para 21 'woudn't which should be wouldn't'. Aside from that it was very well written and a great happy love story. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck


  • Schuyler VanAlen gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!! That was really good, if that was your first try! *jealous* I love your rich description and imagery. I, for one, could not have done this. I just can't write short stories well. I'm a novel writer. Haha.

    I found some eensy teensy tiny wee mistakes, so I thought I'd help you out by pointing them out.

    • He wasn't the type of people,  person, she usually liked, because of her own personality. p.23
    • Nivana meant something to him, and he had taken this long to realize than that he did care for her. p.26
    • The way she looked that night, they the static that raced up his arm when they'd touch and the way she had always cared and been there for him drove him to the edge of love. p.27

    But really, wow. I'm amazed! This was amazing. And don't worry those are mistakes EVERYONE makes! .

    Your SW Sister,
    Schuyler Van Alen


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very interesting write. It was well done. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest. Keep up the good work!~

1 - 10 of 10