Despite it all

I pushed my way through the crowed to see what was happening, as curiosity gripped me like any other of the blood thirsty spectators keen to witness some new act of violence. Nothing but nothing, however, could have prepared me for what I was about to see. 1

I caught my first glimpse of what was beginning. It was an excruciatingly cold day, nothing like anything in the recent past. The subzero temperatures in the abyss of ice and darkness was unfathomable like something out of a biblical story, even the toughest of creatures fell at the plague of the inhospitable glacial temperatures. Tension was becoming so extreme and unbearable as later on in the afternoon our fates would be decided – I knew it would be an unforgettable day, history in the making, but I would never have thought it would have been for what I was about to witness. 2

Infamy. Chaos ran through our crumbling country infecting everyone like a pernicious disease after the lethal cocktail of the assassination of our countries leaders. Traitors rose, promised greater lives under the invading forces, killing our countries leaders in the hope that it would lead to our ultimate submission. It was June 25th, 1940, it was the beginning of the end, it was the fall of France. 3

Silence. The once laughter had quickly turned to panic and mayhem as my comrades and I prepared for our apocalypse to begin. It had been little over six months since the occupation of France by the self proclaimed ‘liberators’, immediately they ruled with an iron fist, oppressing anyone who stood in their way. 4

I quailed. Deformed and disfigured objects laid a pile high en route of my path. Frost lay strewn amongst the confined spaces between each of the misshaped objects. It was the decaying bodies of my fellow fighters, they were mutilated in an agonising death on the outskirts of the city – they became the latest casualties in this war of legend and terror. I scurried out of the way trying to find a new route around the bodies, desperately trying not to look at the faces of the brutally killed soldiers. As I made my way around the perfectly preserved, frozen bodies one person in particular caught my eye – it was a small boy, he couldn’t have been older than thirteen, dressed shabbily, yet respectable. He was wearing an old, ripped fur coat, with baggy standard combat trousers, he had a gazed look in his pale white face, his eyes, dark blue, would have even taken the breath of the toughest of men and would draw them into his hell. He was merely one of the thousands who flocked to help after the fall of Paris and Britain’s retreat from our helpless country, most were killed early due to the decisive strength of the Wehrmacht. 5

Relief pored over me like a rainstorm as I finally managed to escape the grasping stares of the war dead. As I entered the château, after what had felt like an eternity, I was greeted by my friend, and second in command, Jacques Brézé. Jacques was an unremarkable man, his hair was dark and curly, he had a large bony face with heavy eyebrows to match his medium-large build body, although he did have one feature that was strange about him – his eyes. Light blue, which could pierce deep into the heart as it would draw people straight into his grasp. Jacques was an intelligent man, before the war he was an aspiring entrepreneur with a keen eye for detail, he was a perfect commander who could easily make tough decisions with near perfect results. Suddenly whilst Jacques was being debriefed his orderly burst into the room and exclaimed, “Sorry to disturb you, sir, but our reconnaissance liaison has reported that the 33rd ‘Charlemagne’ SS Division has taken R&R at a nearby winter resort”. At first Jacques seemed insouciant by this interesting development, but took time to study his hand and pulled an ace out from the deck and put it into play, “get André and Leon, now!”, he bellowed with excitement. 6

André was my younger brother, he was a young man vying for a top position, eager to learn, yet he was still naïve. Leon, however had no relation to me, we met him when he fled Spain after the civil, he sought sanctuary in France, where he thought he would be safe, however he was now facing a case of déjà vu fighting an enemy so similar to the one he had fled, he was at the premiere of war in Europe. 7

Anxiously André and Leon ran to the makeshift headquarters, an old master bedroom, they were solicitous to see what was so important, thoughts were racing through their minds, did the Germans know about them? Had they been infiltrated by a Vichy? Had their rapprochement within the warring fractions deteriorated? As they reached the old, reinforced wooden door they nervously forced their way through, “what seems to be the problem?”, André carelessly blurted out,8

“We need the men ready immediately, we’ve got word from our reconnaissance that the Charlemagnes are up in the Alpe d'Huez, I coolly explained with a smug grin on my face,9

“Alpe d’Huez? For what purpose are they there?”, Leon carefully questioned trying not to sound querulous, 10

“R&R, we’ll have full surprise and catch them unprepared”, Jacques said in a blissful manner, “This is our one chance to rise up against those who have betrayed our country and joined the Germans in war, this is a once in a life time opportunity, we simply cannot leave them alone”, he snarled with anger in his voice.11

This is how life for us worked, we sabotage the enemy, as this was the only way that we could evade capture and slow the German war effort. Often we would destroy train tracks and other transport links when possible, however it was a really rare case to be handed a direct, surprise attack on an unprepared enemy, its unheard of, and its our chance to go down in history as heroes. 12

André and Leon hurried back down to the lower floor where they issued the orders for everyone to get ready, this was no drill, we had about enough men to make up two companies in a real army, around 500 men, with assistance from other nearby groups, all trained in guerilla tactics and some with real training from the French and Spanish armies. However to take on an SS division of around 7,000 men at the least seems somewhat of an exaggerated hope to contemplate winning. Nevertheless the morale inside the camp was strong and there was a belief that they would prevail. 13

I went to the makeshift armory, an old, large wine cellar where we kept the weapons and armour. The men changed into their best camo clothes, this was not provided by us but many found a way to get some, or just anything from the retreating troops or just by stealing clothes from drunk German soldiers at night time. I handed out the weapons we had collected over the past six months, much like the clothes we stole a lot of it, either by raiding German vans and by taking the weapons off of the French who fled to the UK, the underground was also a good source too. Once the weapons, armour and clothes were all sorted we looked like a mix-mash of oddly placed French and German soldiers with the odd Italian thrown into the mix. 14

I grabbed my personal pack, full of essential items such as my raingear, cold weather clothes and my last minute makeshift ration pack that the men were handed. It consisted of fresh food from the local café, including one third of a baguette, two croissants, chocolate, and some pieces of meat, although these are all things which would generally go off quickly - within a space of a few hours, we did not need it for long, our mission did not require us to come back. I quickly filled my water battle to its capacity and gulped as much as I could in an effort to fill my body with this precious fluid. 15

By now it was coming up for 5 O’clock, before we left on our endeavour to lay siege to the 33rd SS Division I ordered that our men have a hot meal, for all they knew it could be their last. After the men had all finished eating many were now feeling extremely anxious about the task ahead, but it must be done. To improve moral Jacques made a quick speech off the top of his head, but he was always known for putting in emotion into his speeches. 16

“Friends, companions, fellow fighters, we have been drawn here today to fight for our country, our freedom. It is up to us to spur the resistance movement, and it is up to us to take from these traitors what they have taken from us – our lives. I have no doubt that some of us will die, but those who die today will die for our tomorrow, you will be the true heroes in this war”.17

Whispers. It had now been and hour and a half since we had left the sanctuary of the château, taking various avenues en route to Alpe d’Huez, then men were becoming more anxious by the minute as you could tell by the restless tones of their voices. Suddenly in the pitch black scenery I could see a small box of light, “throw me a scope, anyone, hurry!”, I warily yet franticly ordered. In a matter of seconds I had 3 scopes laying beside me, I quickly grabbed one and looked through, I could see it, the resort, it was finally there! Next I ordered my men to sneakily walk up around the hills into the wooded area facing up from the resort, a good strategic point with some valuable cover. 18

As the men wondered off into the abyss of darkness I stared trying to perform a mini-reconnaissance survey in my head taking rough notes of the area and possible weaknesses in the landscape. I grabbed my magazine, my hands shaking furiously, I shoved it in, cocked the lever and turned my safety off – this was it. I hurried along quickly catching my men up, I traveled to the front of the pack and took position on an embankment north of the resort. 19

Guns cocked, safeties switched off. The men took aim upon the old wooden cabins, no prisoners. They patiently awaited the call to fire, “fifteen seconds!” Jacques called in an edgy yet confident voice. The men took deep breaths knowing that soon they would enter a state of unrest and unknowing at what was going to happen. “Ten seconds”, Jacques bellowed. “Three, two, one”..20

Chaos. The once peaceful and quiet scenery quickly turned to mayhem and disarray as rounds powered through the buildings like a sharp needle through paper. The turmoil continued for around 5 minutes, with round after round flying through the air hitting the buildings as if they were cinderblocks. Shortly after this time there was not much left, no resistance, they had destroyed the cabins, mission accomplished? No, it couldn’t have been this easy I warily thought. Some of my men and I traveled into the carnage to see if there was any sign of life, and the damage we had thrown upon them. 21

As I carefully walked up to the destroyed area I seen a small wall which hadn’t succumbed to the power of our bullets, I looked through my sight as I darted around the corner to check for any surviving SS men. Shocked, I seen an old man standing among the debris. “An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind”, he calmly said in a soft and gentle voice. “What?" I exclaimed, my voice overshadowed by the surrounding chaos. A strange voice was distracting my battle, a voice not of my own. Unknowingly, my focus shifted from the war, onto the bodies surrounding me. "What's this?", I franticly asked myself. An innocent child, holding a wooden sword, was prancing on top of a body. His face, so pure and innocent, oblivious to the blood and gore around him. "Innocence" The old man spoke, drilling the word into my mind. My grip on the gun loosened, my sanity shielded from my control. "That child, Is he...?" "Yes", the old man quickly cut in. I stared in disbelief, silenced by my discovery. Here stood the child of the man I had slain. How I knew was insignificant. I staggered back, unable to comprehend what had just happened. I surveyed the ravaged landscape only to see that it was not in fact an SS Division that lay before me, it the bodies of the people whom I was fighting for, it was the bodies of the people of France. What was the rationale behind this pandemonium? This thought must have flourished through my head a hundred times in a matter of a few seconds. 22

Bit by bit I regained my poise. What had initially started as a war of sovereignty for our home from 'potential aggressors' became a worthless justification for slaughter. As I looked up at the war poisoned sky, I could only contemplate what the heavens would have made from such an act. As I entertained this thought I could only sense in the back of my mind that such a notion would be ridiculous to those who still fought valiantly across the country. To them, their cause was just. To me, there was no just or injustice on the battleground.23

My hand began to quiver, the burden of the STG-44 too much for me to bear. The thick stench of blood ran up my nose. I franticly searched my mind looking for a possible reason for this massacre. My mind was blank. I knew that this should have been the joyous scene of the dead SS men by the hundreds plagued across the battlefield, but it wasn’t. Something had gone wrong, had they gotten word of our activities? This couldn’t have been possible, I was so careful, leaving all the preparation to the last minute. My mind became a frenzy, distressed I scanned the area surrounding the cabins, I looked up at the embankment where the men laid unaware of the situation, I furiously searched the opposite side when something caught my eye. It was some kind of glint in the dull moonlight, what could this have possibly been? Was this the SS? Had we been set up? 24

Surprisingly, the old man walked behind me and whispered graciously in a persuasive manner “the price of peace is not unlike that of war". I waited a moment to study the words that the old man had conveyed to me before I decided my fait. 25

As I looked up towards where I had seen this glint, SS officers took aim upon me. Time seemed to slow down as I seen them squint their eyes and adjust their positions, committed on ridding the world of my comrades and I. 26

My gun grew ever heavier as my desire to battle diminished with the rotting corpses I stood along side. Abandoning the thought of evading death, I set the gun free. Never again shall it be drenched with the blood of innocents. The circulation in my heart alleviated, like the gun, I was liberated. 27

At long last, peace settled within this instrument of death.28

No more carnage. No more remorse.