The sun spilled on her back as she fumbled around and tried knotting the tent to the ground. Her vision was darker than it should be, she was hanging on a thread. How was she supposed to cope with this torture?12
34
"What are you day-dreaming about, grimy?" barked Master. The girl jerked back to reality, wiping her raw, cracked hands across her wet forehead.56
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"Nothing, sir," replied the girl, her voice dry with a lack of use. She finished knotting the tent down and crawled inside. Even with the tent and sleeping bags, the floor was hard beneath her. She coughed, feeling her stomach flutter and her throat sting with pain.910
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"Caddie?" the voice was from the entrance to the tent. "Master is giving you a working test."1314
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Caddie trembled with excitement and nervousness. Working tests could get her into a real job... or torture her.1718
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"Caddie?" repeated the voice.2122
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"I'm coming," she whispered and slid out of the tent back into the beating sun. Master was standing with his arms crossed a few feet away from the tent.2526
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"Good luck," hissed the woman, stalking away.2930
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The Master smoothed his shiny black hair with an unwrinkled, smooth hand. "Grimy."3334
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"Yes, sir," answered Caddie. Master called her grimy, as a rude name of her skin color and how dirty she was. It was cruel, horrible.3738
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"Grimy, today you will be given a working test." He frowned. "If you pass, we will let you get an application for a job near the Market Place."4142
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Caddie wiped dust off moth-eaten clothes. "Yes, sir. What's my assignment."4546
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Master waved his hand to a corn field. "I want you to harvest all the corn before midnight and then tie down that blue tent over there. Put the corn and other crops set outside of it neatly in there. It will be our trading place." Master raised his whip. "Get to work, Grimy!"4950
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"Yes, sir!" exclaimed Caddie, rushing to the field. Her alligatored feet brushed the cracked summer ground as she bounded to the corn field.5354
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The girl skidded to a halt. The cornfield was huge. Gulping down nervousness, she picked up a basket and pounded inside.5758
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Caddie broke off a piece of corn and shoved it in the basket, one after another. The sun was starting to set, and soon she would not be able to see.6162
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She limped out of the field with a few baskets of corn and then staggered to the tent. Caddie tied one rope around a knob, finally getting the tent up right before midnight.6566
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Master had set out so many crops. Caddie grabbed a pile of carrots and dashed in the tent, using a box for a shelf. She grabbed corn, apples, pears...6970
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When she was putting some beans into a stack, a bell rang, and Caddie heard footsteps coming toward her. She still had to put more crops into piles, and she was panting from effort.7374
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Master stomped into the tent and yelled in outrage, "Not all the crops are put away! This was needed by tomorrow!" He whipped her on the shoulder. "Now your wasting my time!" Master whipped her again, and Caddie fell.7778
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Her breath came in ragged pants. Caddie tried to stop the bleeding from the whip, but it soaked her hand red. Master's rants were becoming blurred. The girl's head rolled and she fell into an everlasting sleep. 81
Author notes
Hello people!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
This is a short, un-revised piece I wrote. It's about a little slave girl named Caddie. I don't think Working Tests existed in America, so notice the story didn't mention where Caddie lived.

Comments
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Really good!
This is really good! I like it, but very sad.beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
