A Little Batty

“So, Mom...what do you know about rabies?”1

I went ahead and opened my eyes. I’d managed to grope for the phone from the depths of my afternoon nap, but it was sounding as if actual consciousness was called for.2

“Huh?”3

A nervous female giggle sounded in the background.4

“Here’s the thing,” my son’s voice continued. “A friend of mine found this bat in her room when she woke up. She kind of freaked out and called me to come get it.”5

Memories of 20 years of family Shakespeare Festival vacations on the Cedar City College campus flickered through my mind. Summer evening performances were held in the open air, in the replica Globe Theater. Audiences were kept in mosquito-free comfort by diligent, small skittering bats.6

Our son had chosen to attend that very school, some three hours away from home. He only calls me during the school year when he has medical questions, though I have not worked as a nurse since before he was born.7

“We don’t know how it got inside,” he continued, “maybe it hitched a ride on the big, fluffy coat she was wearing the night before.”8

“Did you come in contact with it?”9

“No, Mom! I’m not a complete idiot! I wore my hoodie and leather gloves. I put the opening of a cat carrier up over the bat on the ceiling, then gave it a thump, and the bat fell in. I closed the cage door and secured it, then put the whole works inside a second cage. I don’t know if I’m just that ninja, or if the bat was just not moving much. Maybe it was tired or weak from hunger. It wasn’t aggressive or anything like that.10

So, we were taking it to get it checked for rabies, but somehow it wasn’t too tired to manage to work its way through two layers of caging and escape before we got there. Crazy thing is, the next day there was another bat in her room! This one didn’t escape, and is now being tested for rabies. But there’s no way to know if it’s the same one or a different one from the night before.”11

(I was smart enough not to voice a cheesy remark like, “What? No identifying gold tooth or peg leg?”)12

By now I was at my computer, pulling up a screen full of rabies information. None of it was pleasant. Remembering the feminine giggle, I didn’t read off the dozen or so distressing symptoms.13

“Does your friend have anything that might pass as a bite mark?”14

“Here’s the thing. She has this skin condition, so she always has open sores on her skin. There’s no way to tell if the bat might have licked or nibbled at a sore while she slept. The bat was really small. She wouldn’t have felt it. And rabies is transmitted through the saliva.”15

“How long ago was this?”16

“It happened over the weekend.” [Today was Tuesday]17

“On a more personal note, Mom, how long until she could be contagious, if the bat was rabid? You see, yesterday I was at her place, and she had taken a bite of this cookie, and then just left it on the plate like a wounded soldier. I had already polished it off when she turned around and squealed, ‘No! Don’t!! Rabies!!!’” 18

“I had covered up and avoided any direct contact with the bats, and I don’t really have any concern on that score. But the cookie! That darn cookie! She’d bitten it, and it had her saliva on it, and I ate it!”19

“Okay. It says here the incubation period can be from 10 days to 7 years.”20

“Yes, before she would have symptoms. But could she transmit it before then?”21

“Have you two seen a doctor?”22

“Yeah, we went to a health clinic, but they knew nothing about rabies. Truly pathetic! And these people are supposed to have medical training! They didn’t even know that it’s transmitted through the saliva! 23

"Also, she’s an out-of-state student. Her health insurance is only good in California, and it can run over a thousand dollars to get the rabies vaccinations. Having to take an airplane to and from California every few days is an overwhelming expense she can’t afford. What should we do?”24

I thought it over for a minute, then said, “Have her call her insurance and tell them she’s having this problem, and ask who they authorize her to go to in your area. Often insurance companies will make arrangements with other providers when their subscribers have a health issue out-of-area.25

"And here is our family doctor’s number. You need information that is current and up-to-date from a medical professional. I’m not it.”26

“Okay. Thanks Mom. That darned cookie! I don’t truly think I could die from it, unless God really hates me that much!” I could hear the grin in his voice. 27

Trying to be equally positive, I helpfully responded, “At least, if you die, it will have been trying to help a friend, instead of some stupid initiation, like a ‘Kiss the Bat Frat.’”28

“This is so stupid! I’d just completely forgotten about it. That darn cookie!”29

“Was it a really good cookie?”30

“Yeah, it was a really good cookie. A nice, big one.”31

“Well, that makes it nicer than if it had been some dry Vanilla Wafer. Tell you what. If you die from this, I’ll make sure to incorporate some little tribute to stupidity on your tombstone. Like a cookie carved into the bottom right hand corner.”32

“Would you really, Mom? That would be great! Well, thanks for all the info.”33

“You’re welcome. Have her call her insurance company during business hours tomorrow. You call our doctor. Tell them how many hours after her first exposure you had the cookie. Personally, I don’t imagine it could have entered her system and spread so completely as to be in her saliva 48-72 hours later, but it would be best to find out for sure.”34

“Okay. Thanks, Mom!”35

“You’re welcome. I love you, Son.”36

“I love you, too.” That response alone told me he was a little rattled.37

Engaged by the ridiculousness of the situation, I wrote him two limericks after we rang off.38

Late the next afternoon, I heard from my son again. The friend’s insurance had come through, and she had been started on the series of five rabies vaccinations, to be given over the next 28 days. Not pleasant shots, from all I had heard. I decided not to share my limericks, or the research his Granny had anxiously contributed, that “there are hundreds of varieties of bats, all sizes, all colors, and all ugly,” and that “rabies ranks as the 10th most common cause of death in the world.”39

“And, Mom, no one can tell me whether or not I’m at risk! If I am, there’s a time frame in which the shots need to be started to be effective. Yes, I called our doctor’s office. They say it’s been seven years since I was in, and they can’t tell me anything over the phone. They need me to come in. I won’t even know until Thursday whether or not I’m scheduled to work this weekend. If I’m not, I can come home, but if I’m working, I won’t be. No one around here seems to know anything about rabies!” His undercurrent of anxiety was starting to break on rocks of frustration.40

I felt my own stomach start to knot. His friend had been started on the shots, and the effective window of opportunity for my son was drawing to a close. If there was a problem, we needed to know it and address it soon. Very soon. It was almost the end of office hours for the day when he called.41

“All right. Someone is treating your friend, and ‘up’ enough on rabies to be giving her shots. Go at this obliquely by having her call her care provider and tell him, ‘My friend and I shared a cookie such-and-so many hours after I was exposed. It had my saliva on it. Does he need to worry about contracting rabies?’ See if that gets you any information.”42

“Okay. Thanks, Mom. I just found out I don’t have to work, so I’ll be home this weekend. For my birthday.”43

“Okay, Son. Love you.”44

“You too. ‘Bye.”45

It was almost 5 p.m. when we rang off, too late to start my own calls.46

That night, as I tossed restlessly in bed, I composed my spiel for the next morning’s urgent quest for information. 47

“Hi. I’m calling about my son, who shared a cookie with a friend who may or may not have been bitten by a bat that may or may not have been rabid, about 48-72 hours after her first exposure. There was a second exposure, the second day, to a bat that may or may not have been the first bat, which is now being tested for rabies. The friend has a skin condition with open lesions, so it is not possible to determine if the bat bit her. It was deemed medically advisable to start her on the series of rabies shots. She had her first shot yesterday. She had called my son to trap and remove the bats. He wore a hoodie, hood up, and gloves. He had no direct contact with the bats. BUT, he ate a cookie she had started, which had her saliva on it, a couple days later. Does he need to be concerned about exposure?”48

By the time I had mentally recounted my fourth version, I figured no one would ever believe me anyway. In my mind, I could hear the voice on the other end of the line reply, “This is a college kid prank, isn’t it?” It would be October 1st, Halloween month. He was a college student. I imagined hearing the receiver slam before I got anything close to an answer, which we really needed.49

The first thing Thursday morning, I wrote out a script before starting my calls. I decided on, “Hi. I’m calling regarding a possible wild animal bite.” If that was received favorably, I would follow up with, “The friend in question was started on the rabies vaccine yesterday, but my son ate a cookie she had started to eat about 48 to 72 hours after her contact with a bat. Her mouth and saliva had been on the cookie. Does he need to worry?” 50

My first call was to County Health, where I left my message and contact information as instructed by a recording. 51

By then our doctor’s office switchboard was open, so I called to arrange for an appointment for my son as soon as he got home for the weekend. “What is the nature of the problem?” “Actually, he was exposed to a friend who may have been bitten by a bat. The friend has been started on the rabies vaccinations, but before she was, he ate a cookie, which she had started, so it had her saliva on it, and we just need to know if he is at any risk.”52

She cut me off rather abruptly. “You need to call the Health Department.” Click. 53

I called the Health Department, got a recording, and decided to call back rather than leave a message. When I called again, I got an actual person! She told me their phone system was down, asked what my concern was, heard me out, and then gave me a number for the Environmental Health department. 54

That call was picked up by Mr. Dale Keller. It was not his phone, but the individual who normally took incoming calls was out at the moment, and he was covering her desk. Turns out he is the Bureau Director of Environmental Health. I read my script, and concluded with our need to know whether or not there was a potentially lethal problem before our effective time frame for starting the vaccine was past.55

He explained that the rabies virus is not as easily transmitted as commonly believed. At a lecture by a Duke University PHD, the audience (of which he was a member) was told that if an actively rabid wild wolf went through a village, biting each inhabitant, only half would likely develop rabies. He added that in the United States, it is very, very rare for people to contract rabies. Most U.S. cases of rabies were contracted overseas, prior to the infected individuals returning to the States.56

The most common carriers of rabies are skunks, raccoons, and bats. In Utah, 2-3% of bats are carriers, one of the highest rates in the nation. Rabid bats are sick. The most common exposures are people noticing a ‘downed’ bat, flopping around on the sidewalk, and trying to pick it up or play with it. If a bat is on the ground, there is a high probability it is ill, and much more likely to be an infection risk. In drought situations, bats tend to go further afield for water, and sometimes the virus is spread in that manner.57

The rabies virus cannot be transmitted to another animal or person until the carrier is actively rabid. Furthermore, even if the friend had been clinically rabid when they shared the cookie, the fact that her saliva had been ingested rather than injected made the possibility of contracting the virus practically nil.58

It turns out that some 15 years ago, as a junior member of the Health Department, Mr. Keller was occasionally assigned to a team sent to clear out “cat houses.” Sometimes aged or mentally ill people collect extreme numbers of cats, sometimes 50 to 100 animals. When the individual becomes hospitalized or passes away, the Health Department may be called in to “clear out” their apartment or home. 59

On one such call, he was scratched badly on the hand by one of the less friendly felines. In the course of clearing the house, a partially eaten bat was discovered on one of the windowsills. It was sent for analysis, and tested positive for rabies. Consequently, Dale got to undergo the series of rabies shots. The University of Utah still calls on him occasionally to come donate blood, which they use in making fresh batches of rabies inoculations. I considered myself almost miraculously blessed to have come into contact with someone who would hear me out, who could truly understand my anxiety, and who also had firsthand experience and the relevant information we so desperately needed.60

With huge relief I was able to give my son the information that ingested saliva from a non-foaming-at-the-mouth friend carried essentially no risk of transferring rabies. With huge relief it was most gratefully received!61

As he was already planning to return home for the weekend (and his birthday), his Granny and I wanted to prepare a special treat for him. Granny bought him a box of his favorite cookies. Carefully, we slit the label, pulled out a cookie, and replaced it after she had taken a large bite out of it. We positioned it so the bitten part was hidden under the labeling, and reconnected the label undetectably. 62

On opening the box, he was duly impressed. On the other hand, we were impressed that he didn’t just finish it off!63

I then presented him with a 3 x 5 inch card, with a limerick on either side:64

Our Sonny, the Hungry-guy sort,
saw a cookie’s consumption abort –
Sealed his untimely fate
licking crumbs from a plate,
Or, so ruled the Coroner’s Court.65


A cookie, eclipsed by a bite,
left forlorn, was a pitiful sight;
Unobserved by his date,
he chomped down, cleaned the plate –
ate his way to a rabid bat fright!66


He was still smiling when he got up from the table, so I trust he was feeling the love! 67