It sprouted, erupting from the parched earth. The ground around it was criss-crossed with cracks, like a quilt pattern only the quilter could recognize. It was a small space, only two feet around the weathered four by four post, but it was enough.1
When a small shoot pierced the ground from below the very air took notice. The wind blew harsh, causing the trees across the dirt road to creak and moan in protest. 2
The air grew cold, nipping at the tiny green growth. It was as if the air would freeze the small greenery making it shrivel and die. It didn't.3
The sun paused behind a billowy cloud of silver, casting a shadow over the lone sign post and the new shoot.4
Still the newly sprouted greenery grew. It slowly inched its way around the base of the pole. Snaking around and inching sedately up the cracked wood.5
As suddenly as it started the vine-like plant stopped. It's tendrils wormed their way into the tiny crevices, giving it a handhold or two. One leaf grew, its tri-points tipped in orange, that shown red in the late afternoon sun.6
***7
The sun beat down. I could feel the heat on the back of my neck. I had thought a ponytail would help keep me cool, but now I was rethinking the idea. Beads of sweat lined my hairline, clinging to my skin like a plastic glove and just as uncomfortable. But the soil that was sliding through my fingers made the heat worth it.8
The earth felt like silk dripping from my bare hands. Nolan would scold me, but gloves felt so unnatural. Maybe it was the 'tree hugger' in me, but I felt at home with soil under my nails and wiped across my face. I would clean-up long before he came home or at least I'd hope so. I can sometimes lose track of time when I garden.9
I sat back on my feet with my large belly in front of me, to wipe the sweat from my face. Two feet high corn swayed in the soft breeze. Their elongated leaves waved to me. Beyond them feathery stalks of carrots and radishes danced. Other vegetation grew and pranced in the field. I smiled in satisfaction. I was very proud of myself.10
On the horizon a cloud of dust, billowed up covering the space between the grove of trees and the bright sunflower field.11
I rubbed my belly. "That can't be daddy, can it?" I heaved myself up and waddled to the backdoor. My intention was to wash my hands before the car pulled up.12
The knob was cold despite the warm day. The door moaned in protest as I pulled it open.I made a mental note to oil the door soon.
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Comments
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Wow! This chapter really made me feel uncomfortable somehow. I think it was the inclusion of the corn. I don't know what it is about corn crops but they just make me feel like something very bad is going to happen (perhaps I have seen too many cheesy horror movies for my own good).
I won't comment of the spelling etc because that's all been covered.
I do believe you successfully have me hooked.
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Hey Brooke,
Read this and commented already. Waiting for more
Steve -
Hmm. A strange plant that is not welcomed by nature and turns things cold. That doesn't sound good. And then a cold doorknob when its sweating hot outside. Double hmm. I wonder what's really in that dust cloud out there. Or behind the door for that matter. Triple hmm.
Sounds like our happy homestead may not be so happy by the time the baby arrives. *enter creepy music here*
Small stuff:
p6. tri point - tri-point
p13. The knob was cold despite the warm day. I made a mental note to oil the door soon. The door moaned in protest as I pulled it open. -- I think the thought of oiling the door should come after it creaks, not before. Unless she's psychic.
Things are quickly getting strange here. Can't wait to see where this is going with a baby involved.
Greg
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Hahaha, maybe she is psychic
Have fixed those errors. Thanks and thanks for the read.
Brooke
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Hey im still hooked i cant wait to see who is driving up!!!
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Thanks, I do hope you keep reading
Brooke
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Hey Brooke,
This is starting to sound a bit creepy. Mysterious plants, sudden weather changes, the cold door knob, and the scariest thing of all is she pregnant. The Anti-Christ? And just who is it coming up that dirt road? I'm anxious to see just where you take us with this story.
I did notice a few things you might want to look at.
Para3-line2 The air grew cold, nipping at the tiny green growth. It was as if the air could (would)freeze the small greenery...
Para6-line2 'giving' it a handhold
Para9-line2 Maybe it was the tree hugger in 'me'
same para-line4 Sentence has mixed tenses. Either change would to 'can' or make it 'gardened'.
That's it I'm waiting for the next part of this
Steve
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I'm not sure about the anti-christ, but that is a possiblity I found my outline, but now it doesn't look as tempting as the one I'm thinking now. Some crossroads were the beacon for miscarriage or stillborn children. What do you think? Just one way I'm thinking of going.
Thanks for the fixes (done)
and for the read.
Brooke
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