One Step to Make it Count

You cant see me1

You dont know im here2

I tell my self time and time again3

I know im lying4

Trying to make things better5

Things will never be better6

Im stuck in this shit hole7

I cant get out8

I never will get out,9

its where im ment to be10

Or am I even ment to be?11

Why am I here?12

What good am I?13

I was only in the way14

Couldn't do anyting right15

As hrad as I would try, 16

I never did anything right17

As long as I would wait, 18

nothing would come19

Well, guess what20

Im sick and fucking tired of waiting21

I waited a hell of a lot longer then i should've22

I'll end it23

right here24

right now,25

I'll end it26

put my missery to rest27

Make the pain stop28

I feel too much pain, 29

too much pain for any human to bear30

'but I wonder if I really am human31

I never did belong, 32

Never33

Will I ever belong, 34

I laugh a cold, bleak laugh35

Its filled with hatered36

Hatered ment for me37

I wont belong, I know I wont38

Im just to different, more then even I relise39

Just how different am I?40

But I wont find and anewser to that question41

I dont have enough time42

I have just minutes left, 43

as I take the first setp towards the edge44

My minutes turn to seconds45

Is this the right choice?46

Will I be missed, will anybody notice?47

I try quickly to convince my self that someone will care48

I know its a failed attempted49

This bridge is high, 50

high enough to to make my final step worth it 51

'but fuck taking a step, I thought52

One final jump, 53

one jump to make me happy54

I take my jump, 55

a smile tugs at my mouth56

As im falling, it feels like flying57

It feels unreal58

Time seems to slow, and I slowly relise that im not ready59

im not realy to end my life, I had a long way to go 60

But the desision was made61

I thought I knew what I wanted, 62

Just as I hit surface, 63

a tear falls64

A tear to say that im stupid65

that I wasnt smart enough to make things right66

I could've made things right67

Put my differences aside, 68

and meet the world with a smile on my face69

But its too late70

Im just seconds from dead71

The seconds tick away72

I hear each one73

my final second comes74

and slowy fades away