Vampires don’t sparkle.1
If this fourteen-year-old has learned anything at all from Dracula and Buffy, it’s that vampires do not, absolutely do not sparkle. And this is where Edward Cullen comes in.2
If, by any chance, someone who doesn’t read Twilight is told that Edward glitters, they would have thought that he’s a girl. No man twinkles, vampire or not, that’s for sure. And, seriously talking here, vampires on diets? The absurdity of the author’s mind. Bloodsuckers are supposed to be immortals with pointy fangs to suck blood from humans, not to dazzle high school sissies and waitresses.3
Truly, Twilight can be a pretty interesting book, since it actually caught many people’s attention, but the more we read about ‘normal’ Bella Swan who cares nothing more other than her love for perfect Eddie and inclination to leave her family, the novel just simply turns some off. Bella merely sounds like Mary Sue who thinks that the guy is ‘not like any other boy’. And note this, who’d want to be stalked by a weirdo vampire who tells you that you’re his own brand of heroin and wants to drink your blood? It’s illogical. No one in their right state of mind would stay and wait to be killed by vampires.4
The public also made a ‘Harry Potter vs. Twilight’ poll practically everywhere they can. They say Meyer’s better than Rowling, and have been paring them neck-in-neck to see who ‘wins’. If they haven’t noticed, those who vote for Rowling are the rather ‘matured’ readers, who think that “Rowling is not a bed-wetter with stupid dreams”. The other side, you’d probably guess, were girls ranging from ages eleven to fourteen who are drop dead obsessed with the series.5
Personally, it’s ridiculous. Obviously, you wouldn’t know who’ll win. Those who’ve read about Potter find it hard to thoroughly understand the plot because Rowling “doesn’t narrate the previous books”. Twilight, meanwhile, took three years before actually being a ‘best-seller’. "Face it," one commented, "Wizards are way better than vampires." Well, let’s see what the opponent has to say, shall we?6
So here’s the glitch. Aforementioned, Twilight is an attention-grabbing series. It has vampires and werewolves fighting over a human girl for ‘protection’ while the parents know nothing. It seems that Twilight is nothing more but Meyer’s childhood reverie that never came true. She’s almost telling girls that you can abandon the hackneyed idea of going to college and instead spend your eternity with your unwaged man just because he still has his parents alive with the moolah.7
Now we shut the Twilight realm of vegetarian vampires and topless werewolves, people have probably found something better to read, something to satisfy their own hunger of fantasy, and for the majority, their— our— lives are finally back on their respective paths.
Author notes
This is an editorial I made for our school paper. Hopefully, no Twilight fan's going to trample me. Credits and most of what's in here goes to one of my friends. Wouldn't be able to do this if not for her 
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Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Highly amusing! Though you've got a little mistake made just in plural confusion - allow me to refer you back to paragraph #5 - the last line of which should definitely say "who are" rather than "who is" (or as you have put it, "who's" which is perfectly acceptable. However, when you change it, I would advise you not to abbreviate "who are" into a single word...
I must admit, I fell off my chair sideways at this opener; "If, by any chance, someone who doesn’t read Twilight is told that Edward glitters, they would have thought that he’s a girl."
Bluntness is so useful when something so absurd just needs to be revealed as such! Yes; I agree, the sparkle concept is entirely ridiculous.
Though we all eventually learn to grow out of simple-minded plots as Twilight, there will always be a younger generation of readers to delight in its nonsensities. Harry Potter, on the other hand, engages a much wider and - dare I say it? - a far more educated, even cultured, sensible audience. I hope it shall continue to do so.
Although Rowling is no Anne Bronte, she is far, far above the likes of fanfiction-frequenting Stephenie Meyer.
Quote me, if you like. -
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Thank you! I have already fixed the error; thank you, again, for pointing it out.
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omg. you've got guts putting this into a school paper. haha
As I am both a twilight and harry potter fan, I can see what you mean here. Too many people compare the two. It is rediculous to try to compare books which are soo different. The main themes in Twilight are something which could never really come true, while the harry potter themes are more possible. There is nothing similar about the two with the exception of the genre of fantasy, so what's there to compare??!
Good rant you've got here. -
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LOL. You do not know how much my heart pumped with just the thought of Twihards screaming their heads off, waiting for me to come out of my classroom... o.O But, yeah, I'm glad you see my point. There's no point comparing both works, and, thanks
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Haha, nice. I agree, no men are supposed to sparkle. That's just ... weird?
Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. You make him sound like such a creep.
The poke at the heroin quote was funny. 
I also agree with you on the Harry/Eddie poll.
Great job, I loved reading it. Couldn't pick at any loose seams on SPaG, so I can't comment on that.
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Glitters goes to girls, then again, not every female loves the glitters.
Oh, and thank you for taking your time to read it. You don't know how much it means to me
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I love it, absolutely love it. :]
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Thank you
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Nice.
So this is what you were talking about the other day. Nice editorial. Need a body guard? Ask your nephew. 
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Meh. I don't think he'll be a pretty good body guard, lmao.
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haha.
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Wow that's a good editorial, also sign your name as anonymous. You can never be too sure.
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I'll remember that Don't want any Eddie fans ending my existence o.O *shudders*
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