The People I'd Die For (part 8)

1

As Amy and Brian entered the attic, they saw Kat screaming sitting up in the bed, eyes wide in terror. Amy ran to the bedside and asked Kat what was wronf. "Oh my god, oh my god!" Kat sobbed. Tears were running down her cheeks and she was covered with cold sweat. Amy lifted up Kat's left hand and saw that it was shaking. 2

"Kat, what's wrong?" Amy asked again.3

"It was me, it was me. Not him." 4

"What do you mean?" Brian asked gently as he walked over and stood next to where Amy was sitting. 5

Kat wiped her eyes on her palms and breathed in shakily. "It was a nightmare." she said.6

"Can you tell us about it?" Amy asked. 7

Kat gulped and started to talk. "I dreamed that it was me that died...not Jake. I saw the car hitting me and...they placed me in the body bag while I was still awake. I was trying so hard to get out." Kat started to sob again. "I was suffocating. I woke up and when I didn't see you guys here I...I thought you had died too." Kat wiped her eyes and said "I'm sorry, I'm sounding really stupid." 8

"No, you're not." Amy said as she hugged Kat. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I had a nightmare too and I went downstairs to calm down."9

" woke up and I followed her."Brian said as he gestured to Amy. "I'm sorry too, I should have been here."10

"It's okay." Kat said as she swung her legs to the side of the bed and got up. She saw Amy and Brian looking at her inquisitively and said "Really, it's fine."11

"Where are you going?"Amy called after Kat. Kat was walking out the door. 12

"The back porch." Kat called back without turning around to look at Brian or Amy.13

Once Kat was out of hearing range, Amy flopped down on her bed with a big "Ugh." 14

Brian tilted his head to the left and asked, "What's the matter...besides the obvious?"15

"I'm just...trying to take it all in." Amy answered. "And I'm so tired I just want to sleep, but I don't want to unless Kat's asleep first."16

"I know what you mean." Brian said. "It's a lot to take in...And I'm worried about Kat too."17

For about thirty seconds, Brian and Amy were silent, Brian looking down at Amy and Amy looking over at the door. "It's funny." Brian said. "I could be surrounded by a million people right now and I'd still feel this helpless."18

Brian sat down on the floor and Amy looked down at him from her bed. "So I'm not the only one?"19

"Not a chance." Brian said. "I don't even know where to start with all of this. Kat's mom has to go to court, we have to set up Jake's...funeral. And on top of all of the legal stuff we have to deal with our own emotional baggage."20

"I've been thinking about that." Amy replied. "When my parents get home I don't know how they'll react. Heh, when they get home they'll probably say 'Jake who?'" 21

"They'll help out with the cost of the funeral I bet. Plus, we do have Jake's family to help." Brian looked at Amy expectantly.22

Amy looked back at Brian with a mix of pain and sadness. "You talk about him like he's still here."23

Brian looked down at the floor and said "I'm sorry. It's kind of hard not to."24

Amy was silent for a second and then asked, "You tired yet?"25

"Not really." Brian answered. "My brain won't stop thinking long enough to let me sleep."26

Amy closed her eyes and then reopened them. "Do you remember all of us snuck into that R-rated movie when we were thirteen?" 27

Brian smiled and said "Yeah. We had to leave early cause the decapitation scene made Jake throw up on the couple in front of us." Amy and Brian both laughed and started to recall on times all four of them spent together.28

Downstairs, Kat was on the back porch, lying on a porch swing looking up at the stars. She had never felt this stuck, this useless. She wondered how things had gone so wrong so fast. She thought for a minute about things. Not things that she would ever do, but things that seemed like good options at the moment. She could take her car and drive, just drive until she ran out of gas. Then she would stay in that town and never go back. She could run off, get married, get a new job...Nobody would even remember her. Then she thought. All of these plans involved running away. She could never bring herself to do this. She slowly got up from the porch swing and walked barefoot out into the grassy backyard. While she was walking she was looking at the sky and not paying attention to where she was going. She tripped on a rock and fell to the ground. She felt a sharp pain in her elbow but got up and sat on her knees. She looked up at the sky and whispered "Why are you doing this?" Her voice became increasingly louder as she asked the question over and over again.29

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" Kat shouted. She started to cry and put her head down. She quickly looked up again and shouted "WHAT HAVE I DONE? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" Some lights turned on across the neighborhood. They had heard Kat yelling. The lights shut off almost immediatly. Kat pounded her fist on the dewey grass, feeling more weak than ever. She let out a broken sigh and slowly got up to her feet. She went inside and heard Brian and Amy laughing from upstairs. She shook her head with tears in her eyes. She got onto the couch in front of the fireplace now filled with embers that were slowly dying out. She didn't want to be happy. She wanted to be left for herself.30