Prologue


Prologue1

Lisbon, Portugal 205 B.C2

Hidden in the shadows of the night she tried to catch her breath. The guard would be looking for her by now. Less than an hour ago her whole life had been shattered and taken from her. How did it come to this she wondered.3

She heard heavy footsteps comming her way. She pressed herself farther against the wall as two guards passed her by.4

She felt the small infant in her arms start to stear. She removed the blanket from around the child face to look at it better. The child was still fast asleep, snoring lightly. How beautiful the child was with it's soft powder like skin and it's short, curly black hair. Even with its eyes closed she could see the bright green color, the same as the man she loved. This was her, no their child. Their little girl, barly two weeks old. 5

She had done as her father said and escaped with the baby, but now what? She had no money, no food, and nowhere to go. Somehow she knew she would not be able to get out of the city without being scene by the guards, but she had to try.6

She left the corner she was hidding in and ran through the dark streets. There had to be someplace safe for her and her baby to go.7

She continued to run through the maze like city, hidding in the shadows and listening for guards. After another pair of guards left she stepped out of the alley were she was hidding. There was a noise comming from the from the house next to her. She stepped back into the alley, her heart beating fast, as a man exieted the house.8

"Is this everything Joah," the man said as another men exited the house too.9

"Yes, I'm sure," said the new commer. "I'm counting on you to get these item to Seville within the month."10

"Don't worry. You'r dealing with one of the best merchantes in all of Portugal." The man picked up a barrel and headed twards a shed where a carrage was being held. 11


The men exchanged a few more words, then went back into the house.
She made her way to the carrage. It was crammed full of barrels and the smell of different spices was stronge. She cleared a section in the far corner and layed the black cloke she was wearing down. She the fashioned it into a somewhat pillow. She held her little girl to her once again. "I'm sorry Alisa," she kissed the baby softly and layed her down, "I prey will meet again." She tried to hold back the tears that were 12


escaping her eyes but couldn't. 13


After wrapping the baby up to make sure she'll be warm, she took off the only other possission she had. It was a golden locket given to her by her beloved. It was simply round and had three diamonds ste in it, to represent the three years they had been together. She placed the locket around the baby's neck and left the carrage. As she ran down another alley she looked back. She was putting as much faith into this merchant as Joan was. Now if she could get out of this city she could find her way to Seville too. There she could retrive her baby and start over.14


Lost in thought she forgot to stay hidden. A guard spotted her and shouted orders for her to stop. She ran as fast as she could, as she heard shouts an dmore guards came chasing after her. She turned down another alley, but it lead to a dead end. Boxed in between the wall and the guard she had nowhere else to run. One of the guards approched her, his and on the sword at his side, "Your Highness, Queen Vienna. You are under arrest for treason against the country of Portugal and for the death of His Highness, King Joseph Horance the second.15


Author notes

This is not done. But please leave a nice comment anyway lol. I'll put up the full Prologue after I'm done writing it

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Queen Mab gold member
    November 11

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    It's a great beginning. Several spelling errors though that make it distracting. All in all though, I loved it and look forward to seeing where you decide to take the story. Your story-telling ability is very good.

    ~Mab

  • I Write naked gold member
    October 27

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    nice job, I see that this is not finished and you want a nice comment, so I am leaving a nice comment untill I see the whole thing. nice nice nice nice nice


  • Jailrobin
    October 26
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    Aside from the numerous and distracting spelling-grammar mistakes, this is good writing! You just need someone to edit it!


  • MartialDemon
    October 26

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    Less than an hour ago her whole life had been shattered and taked from her. (Taked? I think 'taken' would sound better )

    Now stories, that start out as someone running from something, or someone, I keep reading cause it's intriguing. . but the way you started it out was a bit random.

    How did it come to this she wondered. (You should make her thoughts, italic, or, do-) she wondered how it came to this.

    You used 'she' too much, I know (or think) you're trying to make it a bit mysterious, without saying the name of the runner and things, but 'she' just overloaded everything You could say the woman, the girl, or little girl, a few times, just so 'she' doesn't ruin the flow. whatever age this runner is.

    as a man exieted the house. (Another mistake )

    "Don't worry. Your dealing with one of the best merchantes in all of Portugal." (I use to mistake 'your' as 'you're' all the time . but it should be a you're. not unless it's something that belongs to someone like, "Your mind" "Your book" should you use 'your'. and the "merchantes" no E at the end xD)

    Other than that it was interesting , with a few more funny mistakes . Well done , I could almost picture everything in my head. depends on the imagination someone has to picture things though


    ~MartialDemon

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 3.

    • Queenie-Chan
      October 26
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      thanks for the reply lol i'll go through and fix those errors later lol this is just what i've written so far and when i finish it i'm sure you'll like it better. thanks for the tips throughout your comment too.

      Queenie

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