Of Socks Drawers and Coffee

Alexis Rinehart did not like coffee. Well, she didn't like the taste of it, rather. She didn't mind the strong, salient aroma that wafted through the air as it brewed. She wasn't opposed to the heat that engulfed cup and hands, tongue and throat, finally sending a warm trail deep into her stomach. But the bitter taste made the entire coffee drinking experience less than enjoyable for Alexis, with no way to mask it. Her father kept no creamer in the house, and the rare days that there was sugar, it was stored in one of the highest shelves in the kitchen, far out of her reach. Not that it would have mattered in the long run. 1

"You want coffee, Alex, you'll take it black," her father had told her the first time she asked for a cup. He had even taken the liberty of pouring it for her himself. She drank the whole cup that day, as she had done every morning since. Though sometimes her older brother, Winston, would sneak her miniature creamers and sugar packets from the nearby gas station on days her father wouldn't get out of bed. 2

Today wasn't one of those days, however, and the coffee Winston poured for his little sister was dark as coal and just as bitter, Alexis fancied, though she had never tasted coal. 3

"Morning, kids," their father greeted. Gregory Rinehart was a tall man, or so he held himself. He was actually of about medium height and had gentle blonde hair and light features, passed down to his two kids. A cloud of steam curled up into nothingness as he poured his morning's cup. No ritual was lost in the Rinehart household. 4

"Morning, Dad," Winston returned, though Alexis was focusing more on not spilling her cup. Winston had nearly overfilled it. 5

"What are we eating?" Winston looked up at his father, waiting for cues on how to answer. Today, apparently, was one of those bad days, however, and none came.6

"Well, are you going to tell me what you plan on making, boy, or are you going to sit there and look stupid?" 7

"What would you like, Dad?" Winston asked coolly and rose from the table. He never got an answer; the moment he was on his feet, Alexis pulled her coffee close to her to avoid having him bump into it and the entire cup toppled and spilled, still steaming hot, all over her. 8

"Damn it, Alex!" her father screamed and snatched up the cup from her lap, then hurled it against the wall. The sound of glass cracking and falling on the floor where all that were heard before Alexis started crying. 9

"Shut her up and clean up that glass," Gregory snapped and stormed out of the room. Winston took his little sister in his arms and waited for the front door to slam shut before speaking. 10

"You okay, Allie?" he asked gently, lifting her from the chair and walking her, still dripping with coffee, to the bathroom. She nodded.11

"I didn't mean to spill it, Win," she whimpered. Her brother kissed her forehead and told her to take a shower and get some fresh clothes on and he would have some breakfast waiting for her when she got out of the shower. Then he closed the bathroom door behind him and went to clean up the mess and glass in the kitchen. 12

The coffee had left light-red scald marks down Alexis's arm but that was the extent of the damage. She turned the water onto lukewarm today, as opposed to the searing hot she normally favored. 13

Her father would be going out for breakfast, spending the morning elsewhere before he went to work at noon. That didn't bother Alexis and she knew it didn't bother Winston either. They were used to him being gone, and at times it was much better than having him around. Gregory Rinehart was known for his temper. But Alexis loved him anyway. 14

Three hours after breakfast with Winston, the family phone was ringing. Winston answered. After a short greeting, the phone was quickly passed to Alexis. 15

"Hi, Alex," her father's voice said. 16

"Hi, Daddy," she responded. 17

"I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, sweetie pie. You weren't hurt, were you?"18

"No," Alexis answered quickly, unconsciously pulling the sleeve of her jacket down over her burnt arm and bundling the end into a ball in her tiny fingers. 19

"Good. I'll see you when I get home. I love you!" He didn't wait for a reply before hanging up. 20

Winston had to leave for work soon after the phone call. Alexis always wished silently that he would one day invite her to tag along, she could sit in one of the booths of the restaurant and drink a cup of water while she waited for him to get off of work, but she knew that Winston would never allow it. 21

"Four hours is way too much time for a six year old to be sitting by herself," he had once told their father. "Besides, do you know how many weird people come in and out of that diner? I wouldn't be able to keep an eye on her like I'd want to."22

"Fine," Gregory had finally agreed, though not happily. "She's old enough to start watching herself, then." And that had been the end of it. 23

"I'll see you when I get home, Allie," Winston promised as he closed the door behind him. She watched him walk away down the street until he was out of sight. Alexis hated it when Winston was gone. 24

But it wasn't long before six-o-clock rolled around and he was strolling back in the door. Alexis marched up to him, proudly showing him a picture she had colored for him. Winston put it on the fridge with a magnet. It was a cup of coffee, steam rolling up in yellow scribbles from a big pink cup. 25

Eight came and went. Alexis awaited her father coming home, hoping he would be in the same kind of mood he had been in earlier on the phone. But he didn't show up. Nine-o-clock also passed, and there was still no word. Finally, at ten, Winston made Alexis go to bed. 26

There was no coffee the next morning. There was also no Gregory Rinehart, nor was there any sign that he had been there sometime during the night but just left, as he was known to occasionally do. 27

"I'll be back," Winston finally said when at one in the afternoon the kids still hadn't heard from their father. 28

"Where are you going?" Alexis asked. She followed him to his room and watched him open his sock drawer and take out a pair. They were black like coffee. 29

"To the gas station up the street, Allie. I promise you I'll be back in ten minutes," he said, digging some change out of a lone sock pressed into a back corner of the drawer. "I'm just going to get a newspaper and see if anyone up there has seen him today." Alexis let him go. 30

It wasn't five minutes after Winston left that Gregory Rinehart came stumbling into the house and collapsed onto the couch. His eyes were red and bloodshot, his hair was wild, and anger steamed off of him in waves, almost tangible if one cared to reach out. There was a brown bag in his arms with a tall, thin glass cylinder poking out from the top. Alexis went to her room immediately. 31

She could tell by the yelling that came about ten minutes later that her dad had lost his job. She could tell by his speech that his entire paycheck was sitting somewhere in a bar. And she knew by past experience that alcohol was the stuff nightmares were made of. 32

It wasn't a long drop to the ground from her window. She left it open, though she could have closed it again, to notify Winston of where she was. Then she took off walking through the grass to the old lake by their house. 33

It wasn't a very big lake, or an overwhelmingly beautiful one, but it was Alexis's favorite place in the world. It was always different every time she visited; some days the water was as still as glass, others it was tossed about playfully by the wind, and in the coldest days of winter it would freeze solid, though Winston had made her promise to never go on or in the lake alone. 34

Today, the water shone as if diamonds were scattered across it's surface, glittering and disappearing away into nothingness then reappearing within seconds. There were small ripples swirling throughout it, just like a freshly poured cup of coffee. A light breeze swept Alexis's long blonde hair off of her shoulders as she half-laid in the grass, propped up on her elbows to look at the lake. 35

She didn't know how much time had passed when Winston finally dropped down next to her, sitting Indian-style and looking out over the same lake. Alexis risked a sideways glance at him. There was a darkening bruise under his eye and a few scrapes on his shoulder that she could see through a ripped shirt. She asked no questions and he volunteered no information. 36

"Only four months until you're eighteen," Alexis finally said quietly. Winston nodded. As soon as he was legal to move out, she knew that he would take her with him and get a small place to rent while he got a full time job and finished raising her. He had enough money stored in enough socks in his drawer to be able to pull it off. 37

"He'll apologize later," Alexis tried again. Still, her brother had no reply.38

"Doesn't the lake look beautiful, Allie?" he finally said. Alexis nodded and rested her head on his shoulder, though not the hurt one. He wrapped an arm around her and they sat in silence, looking out at the lake. From where they were, it really wasn't too hard to find beauty through the negative space.