The ship ran smoothly across the sea, making it a perfect vehicle for exploring. It was a beautiful day the first time it cruised across the sea. The waves were lapping softly against the docks' beach on the day of the Jaguar Pounce's first voyage. The skies were a beautiful azure. The docks were full of life and bustle, but most of the people were there to see the great ship- the Jaguar Pounce- go on the first voyage. The people who purchased it may well have been pirates, but who would care? The Jaguar Pounce took sixty years to make, including all of the electrical equipment inside. 1
The lively crew was lead by Karen Whitfield. She was pirate superstar, known all over the world for her discoveries. She had made a large pirate crew that were famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the animals! Karen had a special technique to give the group luck. She would put a little bit of energy into a coin and she would lob it into the sea. After that, the ship would rock and be hoisted into the air by an invisible force. (The dolphins) The ship would be carried off for half an hour and then drop back into the water. This was a new ship though, not the Golden Carrier, their previous ship. 2
"Shark at ten o' clock!" one of Karen's bodyguards yelled. The ship did a sharp turn and almost knocked the crew off.3
Karen threw the magically enhanced coin into the sea and the ship was thrown into the air, the breeze sending Karen's hair flutter in the breeze. The ship suddenly was dragged underneath the water, and Karen swam to the surface of the water. The docks were a few miles away... Karen dove underwater and made sure everyone was out. Karen's bodyguards got everyone's bags and they all made off to the docks. 4
A dark grey cloud blotted out the once clear azure skies. Rain hammered into the stormy waters and lightning screeched down. Karen and the crew were only a mile away from the dock. A lot of clouds were coming, so Karen decided to go really fast to get a ship to sea for the crew. 15 minutes later, all of the crew were snuggled up in bed...
A contest entry
- Entertain me. by iCats.
350 points, ended October 29, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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The imagery in this was really great, so well done
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Hey.
Firstly thanks for entering.
Things i noticed.
First sentence you use 'across the sea' twice. Maybe consider rewording one of them.
Other than that it was great, the lanague and flow was perfect, the description was really good; i could image everything you were saying. It was like i was transported there.
Thanks for entering and best of luck.
Staci


