The back road that passed by Hunters Creek was deadly quiet and deathly dark. Ryan Stinson had driven down the road numerous times before. Just not at night. It was after midnight; he had just left his girlfriend Kim's halloween party and was dying to get home. The quickest way just happened to be the back road. The long and narrow dirt road was drenched after the unusual rainstorm that day, which made the road wet, muddy and slippery. He was just about half way down the road when he saw her. Standing on the side of the road, shivering and soaking wet. Her white night gown had become somewhat see through upon getting wet. Her long black hair being whipped across her face, with the strong wind that had picked up through out the night. Ryan stopped his beat up old 1950 pick up truck, he and his father had fixed up during the summer, next to the young woman. He leaned over and rolled down the window1
‘Hey do you need a ride?’ he offered hoping he could drop her off on his way home. The woman smiled and hopped in. to him she looked to be early twenties, nice blue eyes, plump red lips and perky young breasts he could clearly see through her soaked clothes. He drove no more than a quarter of a mile when her realised he didn’t know where to take her, he had been to busy catching glimpses of her2
‘So ahhh wh- where um should… should I drop you off?’ he stumbled, when she caught him looking at her, she smiled but did not say anything. She sat and stared at Ryan, until they came close the old Landsin Bridge, where hunter’s creek flowed underneath, when suddenly she started screaming. Her high-pitched screams startled Ryan, he looked at her and pure fear flushed through him. The woman started convulsing before muddy murky brown water started overflowing from her mouth and nose. It did not stop. She reached out and grabbed his arm, gripping tightly. He stopped the truck a few yards shorts of the bridge and looked into her eyes, where he saw absolute fear. She held his gaze while gasping for air, but all she got was water. Ryan jumped out, ran around the front of his truck, and opened the passenger side door. Unadulterated horror fell over him, the woman was nowhere in sight all that remained in the front seat was mud and water. Terrified Ryan jumped back in his truck and stomped on the accelerator. He kept an eye on the rear-view mirror but as he crossed the bridge within a split second, she was standing in the middle of the road, still choking on the water and reaching out to Ryan. He stepped on the brake and swerved to miss her causing him to hit and brake through the guardrail and plunging down into the creek. Without his seatbelt on the impact caused him to be killed instantly.3
The next day a police found Ryan in his truck partially submerged in the creek and upon retrieving the wreckage, they also discovered the body of a young woman dressed in her white night gown, who had mysteriously went missing the week before.4
Author notes
4 contest
favourite number in 77 and favourite video game is guitar hero
A contest entry
- Halloween by Len Shadow.
350 points, ended November 5, 6 entries
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Comments
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I suggest separating the paragraphs a bit more, so the reader can pick up from where they left off. It's a bit confusing; so many sentences in one paragraph. ouo
But I liked the description and mood. Very nice. Thank you for entering.

