Unpardonable Sin 10

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Unpardonable Sin 102

Michael was determined to keep his daughter from going to her grandfather’s for Easter. Deirdre was just as determined to go. He had been fighting with the little girl for days. Ann had no difficulty over hearing for neither ever bothered to lower their voice. Now she watched as he confronted Deirdre when she exited the car that returned her from school. Ann barely listened to their repeated nonsense. Then she heard Michael offer. "You'd like Ann for a mother. I'll marry her." And a lump formed in her throat. Last night he’d said they would tell the brat not ask her permission.3

"Why?" Deirdre’s tone was sulky. 4

"I thought you liked Ann?"5

"I do--sometimes." Deirdre was swinging her leg so that her foot kept hitting the flagpole. Ann could see the child was making her father nervous which Deirdre enjoyed doing. Just that morning, Ann caught the girl rubbing the mark he’d put on her cheek, the night of the party, with a kitchen scrubby to keep it red. She watched as Deirdre deliberately presented that side of her face to her father. Then fingering the area he’d slapped days before, Deirdre asked, "Why do people get married?"6

Ann knew most men were no good at explaining things of that nature to little girls but still she heard Michael try. "Lots of reasons. Love. To raise a family."7

"You mean have kids?" Deirdre’s leg continued to swing; the white of the saddle shoe was streaking black.8

"Kids," he agreed.9

Still making a point not to actually look at him, Deirdre said, "You're not married. You got me. I'm your kid."10

"You had a mother, baby." 11

“I never saw her?"12

"I've explained before how she died."13

"Can I die?"14

"Why in hell would you want to?"15

Noticing the girl had switched to swinging the opposite leg Ann shrugged as she thought at least now the shoes would match.16

Instead of an answer Deirdre yelled, "How come you had a girl? Why am I a lousy girl?"17

Obviously taken by surprise, her father laughed and said, "Sorry about that." Ann knew he'd taken the wrong approach. Sorry didn't cut it with the little brat and laughing at her always put her on the offensive. Why hadn’t he allowed her to take part in the conversation? She might have prevented that angry pout on Deirdre’s face.18

"Wasn't my choice. I'm glad you are." O'Neill held out his arms but his daughter ignored the gesture and they fell heavily to his sides.19

Deirdre’s own hands were fists now, pounding into her hips as she demanded, "When can I go ‘ome?" 20

"Damn it! Girl, this is your home." 21

Ann was tempted to interrupt them but Michael surprised her. His angry tone dropped into a disgusted drawl as he said, "School lets out Wednesday. You can leave in the afternoon." 22

Standing on the veranda, Ann suppressed an urge to scream. The features of the little girl running towards her wore a look of triumphant. “Annie, Annie,” Deirdre yelled. “I’m goin’ ‘ome.” 23

Michael turned and stalked off towards the garage. Most likely he would be gone for hours if not days. Ann felt a dull ache creep up between her breasts. A sad smile surfaced on her face as she wondered if the pain came from her breaking heart. Deirdre didn’t want her as a mother. Michael would be disappointed that moving Ann into his home hadn't made a difference. 24

All the way in from the coast, Thomas Devlin had kept the air conditioner on high trying to prevent the stink of boozy sweat from invading the car and turning his stomach. Better to freeze than chance puking, he told himself every few miles. 25

He flicked the control and his garage door rolled up. He spotted the car parked in it and cursed. “Damn!” Not Shelia! She was the last thing he needed right now. He didn’t recognize the car but it was spanking new and expensive. And not too many people had a key to his house. Suddenly work looked appealing and he almost backed out of his own driveway. Then the side door opened and Ann Ryan stood there with a questioning frown on her face. With a sigh of relief, he finished parking his car.26

“When did you buy a BMW?” He asked as he followed her inside.27

“My birthday present from Michael. Oh, God, Tom where have you been all weekend?” Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “I’ve been calling and. . . .”28

“Easy.” He slipped his arm around her waist and kissed the top her head. “I had business out of town. What so terrible happened?”29

She pulled away, rescued a plastic trash bag from the parlor floor, and headed for the kitchen. He glanced about rather missing the mess he’d left and then followed her. “Ann, why do you clean up? I hire someone to do that.”30

“Well, she must have gone on strike. Not that I blame her with they way you trash the place.”31

Why didn’t it ever occur to her he liked to find things where he left them? “You look ready to bawl. What happened now?”32

“Deirdre is going to Ulster for Easter.”33

He watched as she finished stacking the dishwasher. He didn’t believe he owned that many dishes let alone dirty ones. “The kid always goes to her grandfather’s for holidays. Except for Mike most of their family does.” His system was crying for moisture. “You should be grateful. You’ll get a break.” He opened the refrigerator and did a double take.34

“You had mold growing in there. Do you ever buy food—food? I swear, cheese with green strips and dried out tomatoes. A hotdog that was petrified. Of course you could have scraped the shelves and made several meals. Let me have one of those.”35

He handed her the bottle of water and grabbed another. She slumped into the kitchen nook and he sat down beside her. “Okay, tell big brother what’s wrong.” 36

“Michael had me make all these plans for Easter vacation. The three of us were flying to Rome so the girl could see the pomp and ceremony at the Vatican. You would think she’d be ecstatic over a trip like that. Not Deirdre. She wants to go home. She’s been bugging Michael since the party. She has used those couple of marks he put on her to run a guilt trip you wouldn’t believe. So guess who won.” 37

Devlin chuckled.38

“It’s not funny. Not a damn bit funny.”39

“Hey, don’t get spooked, luv. I was just picturing what the little minx was doing to the big bad guy. You have to admit the idea is funny. So the two of you will have a nice time in Rome without the pest.”40

“Are you dense! Do you honestly think he will go now? It’s his daughter Michael wants. Somewhere he got this crazy notion that if Deirdre inherited a ‘Mommy’ she would drastically change into the little darling he pictures her as. It’s never going to happen.”41

“Not in this lifetime.” Devlin patted her hand. “Ann, I warned you when Mike first started coming on that you were playing with fire.”42

“Suppose you don’t. Let see.” She held up one hand and started bending the fingers. “Shelia...”43

“I’m different.” His hand gripped hers before she continued. “I’m a taker too. I don’t expect fairness in relationships. I watch my ass so I don’t get reamed. You try to pretend you’re a user like the rest of us. But you’re too soft lass. It’s the commitment, the love you want. You’ll never find it with Mike.”44

“He loved Shelia.”45

“Maybe so. I wasn’t around then so I can’t judge. Maybe love’s a one time thing with Mike.”46

“And with you?”47

“Good heavens, Ann, you don’t think I love Shelia. Please... spare me.” He groaned.48

“What about me?”49

“Aha, the wench is trying to chain me to a commitment made in a weak moment. I have weird feelings for you girl. Love? My own brand I guess. You’re nice having around. I don’t feel uptight with you. Shucks, you clean my house.” He laughed as she swatted him. He ducked when she tried again.50

She slumped back in the chair. “Hell, Michael’s more romantic than you. At least he can say I love you with a straight face.”51

“He warned me off you, did you know that? Like to break my damn arm.”52

“He did?” Her eyes told him she wanted to believe him. Needed to believe him.53

“Don’t sell yourself cheap, Annie. You’re too good for Mike. But if you want him make him pay big time—like the ring and the vows bit. Now shove on out of here. I need a few hours sack time.”54

“I see. Those sick eyes. Some weekend business? Do I know her?”55

“Ask me again when I’m recovered enough to remember who she was.” He headed for the wonderful smell of clean sheets. Ann always changed his bed. “You can join me if you like but I won’t be much good.”56

“Take a rain check. Maybe in ten or twenty years. Go sleep little boy. Mommy will finish up and lock herself out.”57

He stood in the doorway, and fought an urge to start pitching things. This wasn’t Tom Devlin’s bedroom. Ann must have spent a half a day in here; he wouldn’t locate his underwear for a week. Normally, he tossed his clothes on the chair at least until the next morning. But for several days after a visit by Ann, he felt compelled to hang up his jacket and trousers and deposit shirt and socks in the hamper. A shame to yank that nicely made bed apart. Ah, what the hell, bed’s for sleeping. God, did he need sleep-- about three full days. He crawled between the fresh smelling sheets. He really needed to hire a steady domestic. The monthly over haul by Merry Maids didn’t cut it.58

The water running outside announced Ann was cleaning the winter muck off the patio furniture. A job he’d been putting off for weeks. Weeks, he had heard that cocaine remained in the body for weeks. Maybe if he drank gallons of water, he could piss it out quicker. He’d check that out. The sound of Ann doing her thing wasn’t distracting actually the noise soothed. It reassured. If the damn drug, that had made sleep nearly impossible for three nights, caused him to stroke out, she might hear his cries of pain….59