Flowers will tell me if you love me,1
All the petals on the floor that you see,2
Have shed from me asking "He loves me he loves me not".3
All the flowers I never got,4
All the flowers I gave to you,5
Do you truly STILL have no clue.6
It's been showed but never said,7
Everytime I go to bed,8
I think of you and I know thats weird,9
But finally the thoughts of you are cleared.10
I love you.11
But I don't want to.12
Comments
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A gem of a poem. The rhyme is flowing, unforced, and sounds perfectly natural.
There are some problems with the punctuation choices at the end of the lines... Some lines I think would do better with a full stop than with a comma, because otherwise your poem becomes one complete sentence. And even at the end it's a comma!
I also suggest that you consider taking off the last line, depending on how you are going to edit your poem, if you are going to.
Another piece of great writing from you! It's been a while since I've read something of yours, and this was a delight of a read.
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Thank you for the comment and I hope you keep reading. I will get to changing it soon, thank you for pointing it out. I kinda see what you are refering to.
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Sorry if I'm not extremely clear on what I'm trying to point out...
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Don't worry, but could you please try and tell me what you are reffering to even if you have to write out the poem again fixed please help me? I would like it to be the best to my ability.
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seee
i was right fantasitc ending im the best lol great peom wish he did notice u more but dw if he doesnt it just means u werent ment 2 be like me n u no who lol
xoxo always lana
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hahaha, thanks... i think..... hehe, tell me a name for it aye?
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