Never Ending Seasons Part 2

After finding my way home that night just after twilight1

I reminded myself to never take the long route to beau ridge. I thanked the angel watching me as I made home on a dangerous route; my legs wanting to wonder in other directions for the sake of a dangeous mischeviouis adventure.2

When I found home it had been waiting for me. 3

The pathway cut throught the trees as they seperated standing tall each side forming a small grassy trail that lead into the front yard. 4

A small vineyard of dried leaves wrapped around a tall black arch and black iron fence lining the walkway to the front porch.5

As I searched the catastrophy which was my purse to find my second pair of keys I caught a glimpse of a random note posted halfway under the door. 6

I sighed. "Now what?"7

Snatching it from its hiding place I only had to read the letters on the front...before dropping it. 8

I didn't look at it. instead; I ran into the house shutting the door locking it. This wasn't just a note; it was a beautifully written letter a special last word request from h.i.m.9

But the reality was....he wasn't comming back.10

I didnt want to relive the knowledge of knowing I was going to spend the years alone; but that was all I knew now.11

Something was telling me to go back and retrieve the note I had found on the doorstep; something else was telling m to stay where I was; fixated on the thought that pain was going to win this time around; just like it always had.12

He helped me home...but was a note going to change it all? A note from beyond the grave...how could he have done this? 13

I didn't have the courage....even though my gut was pushing me to go outside and retrieve the beautifully written letter before it would blow off the front veranda and vapourize forever; never belonging to me....because someone else would find it and claim it their own.14

After a long arguement with myself...and the thought of what might happen I shrunk down behind the small iron door wrapping my arms around my legs burying my head in my knees. Trying to find inner peace.15

It was happening all over again;the feeling called l.o.v.e.16

The undying feeling that's worse than a disease or a shard of glass driving underneith your eyelids.A case of natural insomnia; tiring with a giant weight pulling down on my energy. 17

It's permenant and trying to hide from it's presence was the hardest thing i could try and conquor...especially when my moods had been heightened then a spontaneous note crumbled my dreams of becomming some what a normal happy human being again. 18

There was no silence from him...he wrote this for a reason and I yearned to read his words. 19

Nothing that is free stays....so to hold a piece of him one more time would mean another long term suffocating... 20

I was ready. 21

I got myself up taking a moment to collect myself before pain overbeared me and tried to tough it out. Taking my hand I gently unhinged the lock to my door and peeked out22

side to spot the vacant letter still in place on the porch in the violet colored envelope.