burning ink, boiled in hell's fire1
mark out and name the liar2
s/he made a mockery of my trust3
let his/her own believes 4
fade to dust5
and that's not all this one shall suffer6
if they won a love, let that love's heart grow tougher7
when they try to touch or kiss, the love will find a way to miss8
and as the chance to touch does fall, the heart will grow to tough to love at all9
and that's not all the pain this one will know10
as they walk the earth their luck shall grow11
this luck shall be as black as a demon't tomb and cover the body like a shadow's loom. 12
This curse shall grow more and more, till the liars soul grows sore 13
and only when they think to truely make peace with me, they will find themselves set free.
Author notes
MAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH...ahem well my spell is more of a curse, buuuuuuut at least it's fun!
A contest entry
- Witch Spells by Deidara-is Smexy.
240 points, ended October 31, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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thx for the feedback ppls!!!!!!!!!XD
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Obviously there was the lack of capitalization to fix...
And, line 4 I think you meant to write "beliefs" rather than "believes"
and line 9 should be: ....the heart will grow TOO tough to love at all
Now to the part i love...
positive feedback!
I really liked the rhyme, and curses are awesome...
I thought you were original with your wording in that you didn't put words in their typical order, so to make it rhyme.
I like "And as they try to touch or kiss, the love will find a way to miss"
that line was good coz it wasn't just like 'the love won't kiss them back" kinda simple thing...if you get what i mean.
"and as the chance to touch does fall..." i particularly like the wording of that...
anyways good work
but FanFic Queen is right... you need to put capitals at the start of your sentences...
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forgot these
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I really liked it
maybe you should just choose it for a gender that way it would read easier..eventhough its more like a curse its an awesome one
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Okay, I have to admit, I was a liiiiitle disappointed because there wasn't very good capitalization, and I really don't like to read things with no capitalization. Sorry. Although, for your sake, I will keep it in the contest.
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