Katana was a natural loner but one night she came upon a young human.She felt a strange urge to approach the human.Going against her instincta she approaches and is suprised when the human reaches out and pets her.Little do they know its just the begining.1
Earlier that night2
Katana wondered along the familiar paths feeling weird.She didn't know where she was going or what she was feeling all she knew was she wanted a nice warm den.She smelled other wolves who'd past through but continued on.She didn't stop until she came to a clearing she paused just inside the trees and stared.In the clearing there sat a great white wolf and as she stared at him he stared at her. When Katana finaly entered the clearing he greeted her by name.3
"Greetings Katana,I've been expecting you" he said looking down at her. "H..How do you know my name" she stuttered looking up at him. "I know all about you young one and tonight I have come to tell you that your life is about to change" he said looking away from her."Change?,How?,When?,Why"She asked fear coursing through her. "It will change tonight in a meadow not far from here and I believe it will be good for you,you need change yong one"he said walking away.4
Watching him walk away she realized he'd never told her his name. Pushing the encounter aside she trotted out of the clearing and headed towards a meadow she liked to sleep in but stopped right at the edge. Sitting in the middle of the meadow was a human girl with long black hair and was staring at Katana with blue eyes flecked with silver. The girl stared as Katana moved towards her but didn't cry out.Katana could tell that the human had been crying and whinned softly.The girl smiled and reached out towards her.Slowly she moved forwars until the girls hand was in her fur. She was content and it suprised her.She felt odd but she ignored it and placed her nose into the girls lap.5
'"It is done"she heard a voice coming from the trees say.6
Glancing over she saw the white wolf sitting there,nod and walk away.Once he was gone she felt a strange tingle over her body and whined.7
'Whats the matter'she heard in her head.'Nothing'she thought back without a thought.'Oh,then why'd you whine,wait you can hear my thoughts'the voice came again.8
Confusion clear in both their faces they continued their silent conversation until a howl pierced the night.
Author notes
I'll still except character profiles,if you want to be in it.
- Wolf Pack group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Best First Chapters Contest by Marta.
475 points, ended November 24, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Good begiing that needs a bit of editing.
Goood luck in the contest.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
-
to Ainge 107
i like this story it was a cheerful story and i like when the
the wolf found the little girl. your a good writer good job.
bye now David Artist.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.
-
Good
Very well done, I love the description, there were a few mis-spellings but for the most part it was wonderful!!
-
I like the story. Pulls you in and holds you. I have no problem visualizing the characters.
You are aware a Katana is a Japanese sword often called a "samurai sword." That alone could add an interesting depth to the wolf.
I assume the human in #1 is the girl at the end? If so you might want to clarify what is developing unless it is pointed out in the upcoming section.
#1 her instincta ... should be instincts?
#3 Katana wondered ... wandered?
#3 who'd past through ... passed?
#3 on.She didn't ... on. She?
#3 Finaly... finally?
#3/#4 When Katana finaly entered the clearing he greeted her by name.
"Greetings Katana,I've been expecting you"
Feels awkward. It is obvious from the story he knows her name.
#4 "H..How do you know my name" she stuttered looking up at him. "I know all about you ....Change of speaker...new Para.
#5 moved forwars ... forward?
Large number of spaces missing after punctuation.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
-
Yes I know Katana is a Japanese word for "samurai sword.". There will be more explained in the next chapter.Thanks for reading and commenting.
Angel
-
-
I love it, I can't wait to read more! Great job! Keep it up!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
