The stench of blood and decaying flesh surrounded her it seemed.The vision of her friend's brains exploding around her danced in her mind in a magnificent pattern of reds. Shaking and breaking out in a cold sweat, she pulled herself up off the blood covered basement floor, and looked around choking on tears and coughs. All around her were many different dismembered bodies, someone seemed to have carefully picked what to leave attached and what to carelessly toss about. Autumn suddenly jolts from her nightmare. 3:07AM, same time of Nichole's death. She still awoke every night at that time and examined her scars. Suppose she did so to make sure they were healing...and not reopening.1
Ten Years Before2
Autumn walks into her second grade classroom as a new student in a new state for orientation. Her single mother, Christiana, was simply there to pick-up men. Men with money, maybe a house-wife,a hunger for sex, and no brains. Oh, but Chris was a young,gorgeous, brunette with long legs and eyes of emerald. The kind of woman a monk would break his vow to God for. Autumn knew that when Chrissy, not mommy or even mom, let her hair down and bit her lip...well, it was time for her to disappear.Autumn walked over to where her teacher, Mrs.Bryant, was handing out crayons and coloring books. She was off in her own world coloring a picture of Rapunzel, even at her young age she felt she needed freed of something or maybe even someone, just like Rapunzel. In the background she could hear the other children laugh and giggle. She could not figure out what made them so happy. O, how badly she wanted to know. " Autumn, it's time for us to get home so you can get your rest." Chrissy smiled lovingly. In Chrissy lingo, it means: "Come on you little nuisance, I'm bored with this." So Autumn shook her teacher's hand being sure not to look up. Walking towards the door she runs into a classmate. The child was thin, chicken-legged, blond stringy hair, and brown eyes. Very different from Autumn's short legs,auburn hair, and Chrissy's green eyes. The girl smiled nice and wide exposing an empty space from a lost tooth. "Hi, my names Nichole." the girl said in an upbeat tone.3
Finish Later---coffee wearing off!4
Author notes
NOT FINISHED..FAR FROM IT
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Write more love. This is awesome. I'm getting ready to leave right now but I'm going to try hard to come back up this weekend. This story will by wonderful when it's done. Who are you writing it about?Or should I say who do you have in mind? Well, I love you babe.
Kyla -
OH Courtney this is wonderful! Keep working on this... you are becoming quite the amazing writer! I am such a proud Mom!
S~
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Thank you very much
I agree with you on the changing of the words. Of course I do not mind, I am looking forward to imporving my writing, but I cannot do it unless I get comments like yours. Thank you very much
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Wow, i'd like to read the rest, well written, flows well and really get ones interest going, I just have one small suggestion. In the first paragraph, you have the sentence "Suddenly Autumn jolts from her nightmare." maybe make that "Autumn suddenly jolts from her nightmare"? I don't know, it just feel more right to me that way, which doesn't mean it IS right that way, but anyway, just a suggestion
Hope you don't mind

