Come Back My love!

I sit beside the mighty shore
And think of happy days I spent
The days when life was calm and sweet
I sit and think of peace distant. 1

I can’t forget the day we met.
I can’t forget your lips, your breath.
I can’t forget those lovely thoughts.
I can’t un-tie those blissful knots.2

These blissful thoughts, my only hope
Without this hope, I cannot cope
I cannot cope to race of life
I cannot live this woeful life3

My love, I miss you very much
Your happy face, your gentle touch
I miss your lovely mellow voice
I miss the times which we rejoiced4

Come back my love from where we left
Come back to live the life again
I still love you from depth of heart
Come back to soothe my wounds and pain

Author notes

Well, what can i say?

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21
  • The rhyme and everything in this write was just amazing, I enjoyed reading this. thanks for entering and best of luck in my contest.

  • livelaughwritex3
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm...good!! I agree, a little too repetitive...good job and good luck!


  • slyly annonymous
    February 20

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    Hmm it ends a bit oddly but altogether it's a great poem. Full of emotion and has a very bittersweet feeling to it.
    Thanks for entering =]

  • This was good, a little to repetitive but good.
    Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck


  • E Ardania
    January 5

    Edit | Reply
    Never been in love, have you? Well from what you've written I would have definitely thought the opposite. This poem was packed with emotion, thought and had just the right amount of reminiscing and 'past memories' in it. Excellent work as usual, Farhan.

    Hmm. The usual little odd bits - either the rhythm had a little unwelcome bump in it or some things don't rhyme too well. (I have to point out that the rhyming issue may be because of my Kiwi accent or how I say some things, so if it rhymes for you, then it rhymes for you. )
    eg. [...spent] (line 2 stanza 1) and [...distant] (line 4 stanza 1).
    And I hate to say this but I thought your last line was rather weak. Like... it didn't leave an outstanding impression on me when it's supposed to.

    'tis a lovely poem that you've written, anyway. I'm in love with your poetry.


    • Farhan
      January 6

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading, commenting and applause. Thanks for honest review. I appreciate and as for last line, I know its weak.


  • Queen Mab gold member
    January 3
    Edit | Reply
    It's beautiful. I like your rhyme scheme, you use it very well. I can feel the sadness in the words. Very nice use of words.

    ~Mab

  • Snowbear gold member
    December 13, 2009

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    It's kind of sad because I can hear the wish in your words and hopefully the person it was written for will read the words and be touched. Good luck.

    • Farhan
      December 14, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      It wasn't written for someone particularly. You know, I've never been in love

  • Yemassee gold member
    December 6, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Well it's plain what you want. I remember those days of youth when I had such wishes, such sadness for she that had left me. But as with most things, time heals and we move on.


  • Onomarith
    November 6, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    very nice!

    it's a very good poem.....rhyming is good, except in first and last stanza where you have used the style abcb while in all other stanzas a strict abab form has been employed.....was this deliberate?
    well, anyways....you have chosen a very exhausted field, a lover calling back his/her love. And to tell the truth, poem sounds somewhat typical post-Faiz poetry in urdu. I won't say the poem was not good, but I expected more from you...like Faiz....making something ordinary so unique that it astound me...got it?

  • sugarrrainbow
    November 5, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this was pretty good! I liked that you ryhmed, because ryhme is missing very much from poems these days. I'm not quite sure how this fits the fantasy part though.

  • xXSuicideLettersXx
    November 3, 2009
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    another poem.. awesome! well done!


  • Easily Amused
    November 2, 2009

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    It flows very well. Nice imagery. Fantastic.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    October 31, 2009

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    Pretty and nice flow to the poem. But it is sad Good work, though.
    thanks for entering the contest

    Pixie


  • lesbian-in-love
    October 31, 2009

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    This was very good. It was very nicely done. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest. Keep up the good work!


  • CallMeWhenUrRich
    October 31, 2009

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    I absolutely love your use of imagery here. It's brilliant. Also, you had me hooked direct from the second verse. The last line from that verse was genius, well, for me. Good luck in the contests!


  • Foxyn gold member
    October 31, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful story. It has a nice beat, and flows nicely. Well done my friend! I hope to see lots of other awesome work from you! Cheers

    Linchy
    Awesomness Rules Islam.
    Damn right it does!

  • Onomarith
    October 24, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    I mean look at the story....it is so brilliant!

1 - 21 of 21