Just my opinion (for contest)

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As I start writing this I'm not too sure if it will turn out to be just my opinion or a rant, so prepare for either! Firstly, as it is my opinion which I'm writing about, I shall state that I'm female, heterosexual, but with several gay and lesbian friends.2

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I'm going to talk about my friends who are homosexual just for a moment. I remember the first time I met my best friend, she was just like me in so many ways, except that sexually she preferred girls. We did everything that friends do and I always knew her sexual preference. Over time she told me that she had tried to 'fight being lesbian' in her teens because it wasn't what society viewed as the norm; and the stigma that was still around. She even had one sexual encounter with a man which left her feeling ashamed and somewhat traumatised because it just felt so wrong for her. Soon after she 'came out' and found support and friendship in an ever growing gay community, and has never been happier.4

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It was quite different hearing about all of this to actually seeing it. The first time she took me to a gay bar for a night out I did feel slightly awkward. It was the first time that I had been completely surrounded with gay and lesbian people, and it took a little getting used to. It was the first time I had been in a place where it was perfectly acceptable to see girls kissing girls and guys kissing guys. It took a couple of drinks to relax. However, once that initial crazy misconception that girls would be chatting me up had passed, I had a fantastic night and completely relaxed. I learned very quickly that just being polite to someone and saying that you were very flattered but were straight was fine, nobody took offence, and they no longer tried to chat you up! Since that first time five years ago, I have been to so many gay celebrations that I have lost count. One of those celebrations was a gay male marriage.6

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I am not a religious person. I actually have very little interest in religion, however I am open-minded and respectful enough to accept others beliefs. I would like to think I have been raised as a well rounded person, able to open my eyes and respect the fact that whilst I may not agree with everything everyone else believes - I can still respect it. To me, so long as the actions of another person is not hurting me in any way, then I have no problem with it. Why should I concern myself with other people's problems if they do not directly affect my life? I have enough issues in my own life to worry about! So perhaps being non-religious is what makes me roll my eyes when I hear people talk about gay marriage and say words like: 'unnatural', 'wrong', 'not in God's house', 'shouldn't be allowed', etc.8

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As I am not religious I cannot quote specific parts of the Bible to back up biblical characters views. However what I do know is that God is supposed to love one and all, the church is supposed to be a place which people see as a sanctuary. There are a lot of different religions out there and some people very much believe in a God, but don't necessarily believe in the stories of the Bible. Does it mean that because they don't believe Jesus could walk on water or restore sight to the blind, that they should not be allowed to worship in a church? A church, after all, is a place of worship. It's a place to worship the God that you believe in. Even if you took the most regular attending group of one hundred people from a church, and asked them all individually which parts of the Bible they believed in, I doubt very much that all of them would say every part. People adapt parts of religions to suit themselves, people adapt their opinions to suit themselves, people say 'oh I understand that paedophiles who have served their time will be brought back to the community, but I don't want them living next door to me'. And so many of them seem to have this homophobic attitude towards gay people. Like, 'well of course I know they exist, but so long as they don't talk to me or live next to me then everything is rosy'. This can be extended to racist attitudes and discriminations of all kinds.10

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It's 2009, we are supposed to live in a world where discrimination is wrong. Surely by now we have seen the damage that discrimination brings? And saying that two people who are in love cannot make vows and pledges of their love to one another, simply because they share the same gender is just discriminatory. Many gay relationships last far longer, happier, and more successfully than many straight ones. I mean, gosh, look at the amount of single parent families and divorces there are in the world. Look how many messed up children there are because of losing a parent from their lives. I work every day with these children and many of them who have faced adoption quite happily say 'all I want is two people who don't fight or argue, to love me and look after me', they really don't care what those people's sexual orientation is. 12

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The first gay marriage I attended was three years ago. It was two men who had been in a relationship for fifteen years together. They had a beautiful white wedding and spent two years planning it all. It was in a hotel with a large ceremony room and their partnership was blessed by a registrar. The majority of weddings I attend these days are civil ceremonies rather than church weddings. It doesn't make them any different, it's just whether two people want to include lines about God in their vows. The end result is still the same, two people love each other so much that they want to unite as one. They want to share their lives together and wear rings to show their commitment. They want to make vows in front of their families and friends to express their love and they want to have that special day which so many people dream of. 14

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When I attended the gay marriage, I cried like I would at any other wedding. It was beautiful, they were so happy and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Nobody cared that it was two men, nobody cared what they would do in the bedroom together, all that mattered was that after fifteen years together they could be blessed in marriage. Maybe another reason I cried, was that six weeks before my own wedding, my fiancé had an affair. We were supposed to be one of these couples that everyone saw as soul mates. After four years together and much planning, he threw it all away just for a quick bit of fun. Clearly I can see now that we weren't meant to be; but it just goes to show that us 'straight' people mess up our relationships a heck of a lot. Perhaps even more so than the gay community. 16

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The bottom line, in my opinion, is let people live. We all have one thing that is certain in life: we will all be born and we will all die. Our life in the middle is what we make it and everyone strives for happiness. If it's not hurting us then why make it an issue? People are diverse and that's what makes the world beautiful, it's not going to make your life any different if a same sex couple marry, it's not affecting your own happiness. And maybe that's the bottom line, if people were happy enough in their own lives and content enough with what they have, then they wouldn't have the slightest interest in causing problems for others. People are just people, gosh, my doctor is a gay male and nobody bats an eyelid. In fact, I think he is married to his partner. What two people do in the privacy of their own bedroom does not effect how the world spins; it does not effect poverty, disease, global warming - all of those major things which threaten our world. Whether I am straight and married or my best friend is gay and married makes no difference to us as people. We all love in the same way, just towards different genders. The love itself is the same. We are all contributing members of society; we all work; we are all educated people and pay our damn taxes! Does it really matter who we choose to love and share our lives with? Does it really matter what a piece of paper says about what two names are in a marriage? A marriage only effects two people - the two that are in it. Maybe all the straight people who are against gay marriage should be spending more time in making sure their own lives and marriages are happy; and avoiding being another divorce statistic before concerning themselves with others.18

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Live and be happy, do what makes you happy, and leave the rest of the world to figure it out for themselves. 20